On his recent Monday night show, Tucker Carlson urged his viewers to call authorities when they see people wearing masks outside, and to notify child protective services when they see children wearing masks, which is just as repulsive as a person farting in Wal-Mart.

“Only neurotic people wear masks in public,” he told the rubes. “And guess what, they’re always liberals. No conservative would be caught dead wearing a mask. Liberals would, because they’re liberals, they think masks actually protect you from germs. How neurotic are they? That’s how neurotic they are.

“Well, we know a Pew survey from last March found that 64% of white liberals have been diagnosed with a mental health condition ( no such survey exists ). You see them everywhere you walk down a street in a major city, you can’t get away from them, they’re like zombies from the Walking Dead, in this case imploring you to wear a mask, as opposed to wanting to eat your brain when president Obama was in the White House.

“These angry Biden voters will accost you at every turn, snorting at you in anger, telling you to wear a mask. How could you? They’re saying from behind the gauze.

How could you? That’s the question you should be asking them. How could you force me to wear a mask? Don’t you know masks don’t work?

“So, next time you see a liberal in a mask trying to hold you down and force a mask on you, don’t hesitate. Tell them politely but firmly, get off me pervert! I don’t want your mask! Masks are for liberals. I’m a conservative. We don’t believe in masks. And would you please take off your mask? There’s no science to prove it prevents germs from spreading. In fact, your mask is making me sick!

“You should do that,” he continued. “And you need to keep doing it until wearing a mask anywhere is as socially acceptable as passing wind around others in an elevator. It’s a repulsive, don’t do it around others because it stinks, and so does wearing a mask.

“As for forcing children to wear a mask outside, that should be a crime. Your response when you see children wearing masks, should be no different than someone passing wind next to you in Wal-Mart. It’s repulsive, it stinks, don’t do it around others, and you should call the police immediately. Contact child protective services and keep calling until someone arrives. If no one comes, if they think you’re the crazy one, well, it’s on them. It’ll be their fault if the child dies from having to wear a mask. It’s child abuse and you’re morally obligated to report it.”

Things got even stranger when he brought on Matt Walsh for his opinion. Carlson accused liberals of being freaks for wanting to destroy children by forcing them to wear masks, should be ashamed of themselves, and asked Walsh why ordinary people were not demanding answers.

“This just goes to show you the power the left has,” Walsh said.  “They been able to convince everyone that there are fifty different shades of genders, that Antifa is just an idea, the moon is made of green eggs and ham and was actually created not by God, but by Dr. Seuss, that Dr. Seuss hasn’t been cancelled, that conservatives aren’t persecuted like the Christians in biblical times, and that masks actually work. They’re experts at convincing you that they know what’s best for you and you should believe everything they tell you because they’re the experts, don’t you dare contradict them, or they’ll cancel you and ban you from society.

“You know, this reminds me of a recent encounter I had in Austin a few days ago. I was walking outside without a mask on and people were staring at me like I’m the crazy one for not having a mask on. All I had on was a pair of diapers, and they’re looking at me like I’m nuts or something. It was my favorite pair of diapers. I wear them almost everywhere I go, to prove how silly liberals look when they wear masks. I started wearing them last year since the pandemic. In fact, I’m wearing them now. Let me show you.”

Walsh was about to stand up and unzip, but Carlson stopped him. “Pease put that thing away,” he said with a sheepish grin. “We don’t do that here.”

“As I was saying,” Walsh continued, “they’re my favorite pair. They were given to me by Charlie Kirk. In fact, everyone I know has a pair, Dana Loesch, Glenn Beck, Ted Nugent – and everyone at the Daily Wire has a pair. They have the TPUSA logo in gold sewn into the seam, are washable, can be worn more than a thousand times, and are comfortable to wear.

“So, as I was saying, they were looking at me like I was crazy. They were a young-looking couple, probably in their late twenties, so I said to them, ‘This is what you liberals look like wearing your masks,’ and the guy said to me, ‘Dude, we’re wearing masks, you’re wearing a diaper. There’s no comparison.’

“As they laughed, I shook my head and walked away thinking the silly liberals just didn’t get it. If you’re the one walking outside with a mask on, I should be looking at you like you’re the crazy one, like I would look at a grown man hugging a teddy bear, wearing a woman’s teddy, playing with a Barbie doll, sucking on a pacifier, and wearing a diaper – while walking down the street. You’re wearing a mask. That’s your security blanket, and that’s insane to me.”

Carlson nodded in agreement. Then shook his head.

“I agree with you completely. What’s this world coming to when a person can’t walk down a street wearing a diaper without being looked at like they’re some kind of kook? But can wear a mask and no one says anything!? What is that?”

“It’s tyranny,” Walsh said. “It’s communism. It’s Antifa. It’s Black Lives Matter.”

“That’s right,” Carlson said. “It’s worse than someone passing wind next to you in Wal-Mart. It’s disgusting. It’s repulsive. It stinks. Cut it out. Please don’t don’t do that here, and if you do, we’ll call the police immediately.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s