Dana Loesch at CNN Town Hall, prior to getting beaten, body slammed, lynched, and burned at the stake by violent, gun grabbing leftists dressed as professional wrestlers.
When Dana Loesch found out that Anderson Cooper and CNN had received The prestigious Walter Cronkite award for excellence in journalism for its 2018 Town Hall on gun violence, she was so jealous that she recently appeared on Tucker Carlson Tonight to complain how shameful it was that she hadn’t received her own award for having her ass handed to her by the Parkland students.
“Seriously, people, is this a joke?” the conservative pundit and NRA spokesperson, tweeted in reaction to the news.
“Honestly, I can’t believe that CNN was awarded the Walter Cronkite for excellence in political journalism when everyone there was so mean to me,” she told Carlson. “I was literally booed, shamed, spit on, hissed at, tarred and feathered, stoned, beaten to a bloody pulp, shot, stabbed, water boarded, drawn and quartered, gassed, fried to a crisp, boiled alive, staked, beheaded, torn to shreds, hanged, lynched, crucified, and finally, burned at the stake. Then they took my ashes, put them in jar, and pi**ed all over them. Does that sound like advancing the conversation to you, Tucker?”
Carlson : “It sounds like outright murder to me. It seems like the whole event was staged, and they were ready to murder you from the moment you walked through the door, rather than let you speak. So typical of the violent left.”
“I mean, seriously,” Loesch continued, “not only that, but there was a mob of people there who were dressed like professional wrestlers, carrying signs that said, ‘Kill The B***h Queen, and ‘Blame All Law Abiding Gun Owners For Mass Shootings! Confiscate Their Guns And Kill Them, Too!’ All of them carried nooses, too.
“When they noticed me eyeing them nervously, they all rushed the stage at once, screaming, ‘Burn the witch!’ and ‘Hang The B***h!’ Several people tried to stop them, but we’re unable to prevent them from getting up on stage. There were just too many of them, and they were determined to kill me. First they took turns body slamming me like professional wrestlers do, using their elbows to inflict unbearable pain and damage on me, and then they teamed up and kept pouncing and pouncing, and slamming and slamming, until I was literally a pancake. After they finished, they posed for pictures with each other with my flattened corpse on display between them, like fisherman posing with their catch. Most of the audience, including the Parkland students, were laughing and encouraging them to kill me, while only a few were actually horrified at how I was being treated.
“When they were finished with me,” she continued, “they took turns punishing the few that tried to stop them from manhandling me. They did the same things to them that they did to me. One of them was senator Marco Rubio. Earlier he had been asked by one of the students if he would continue to accept donations from the NRA. You could tell how angry they were when he told them no. They wanted to kill him on the spot, and take his guns. But I believe they were biding their time, probably waiting to kill me first, and then senator Rubio, probably hoping to make a spectacle and an example of both of us, which evidently they managed to accomplish. They finished me off, and those who tried to defend me, and then they went after Rubio, doing the exact same things to him that they did to me. And as I was leaving the building, an insane leftist charged me from behind, screaming she was going to kill me, and stuff my corpse in the barrel of my AR-15, but thank God someone was able stop this one.”
Carlson : “Unbelievable! Exactly when did all of this happen, Dana? As far as I know, CNN didn’t televise anyone getting body slammed, or flattened like a pancake, much less getting stoned, shot, or stabbed.”
“Well, of course not, Tucker. CNN was not about to show what their sham of a town hall was really all about, which was putting on a WWE style event, and pretending that it was all about guns and how dangerous they are, while humiliating me and law abiding gun owners, and trying to make us look like fools, but succeeding only in making themselves look like fools. All of this happened after the cameras were turned off, Tucker, because they didn’t want anyone to see how violent and unhinged the leftist, gun hating mobs are. If they had left the cameras rolling, everyone would have sided with the NRA, and would realize just how awesome guns really are.”
Carlson : “I totally agree. To put on a display of violence just days after a massacre, is despicable, and totally typical of the violent left.”
“That’s right, Tucker. But what bothers me more than anything else is, I should have won that award, not CNN. I showed up to prove how awesome guns are, and I believe that’s exactly what I did.”