Corey Lewandowski Craps His Pants During Interview With Chris Wallace

Corey Lewandowski Craps His Pants During Interview With Chris Wallace

Corey Lewandowski literally crapped his pants when Chris Wallace called him out on his COVID lies during a Sunday night appearance on Fox News.

Wallace had the former Trump surrogate on to ask him about president Trump’s claim that “doctors are trying to make him look bad by exaggerating the actual number of COVID-19 deaths during the pandemic.”

At a campaign rally two days prior to the election, Trump had suggested that perhaps doctors were over inflating the numbers just to make him look incompetent – as if he needed help making himself look incompetent in that area – and to allegedly make a profit from the pandemic.

“What is the president’s evidence that doctors, many of whom are risking their lives treating these patients, are in fact lining their pockets by inflating the number of COVID deaths?” Wallace asked Lewandowski, who sat at the far end of the news table.

“Well, you know Chris, I really haven’t seen that evidence. But we have seen on many occasions people who claimed they have died from COVID-19, and that wasn’t the case.”

“People claimed they have died from COVID-19, but that wasn’t the case? I don’t get it. How can anyone who claim they’ve died from the virus, tell anyone else they died from the virus? It would be impossible for them to tell anyone: they’re dead.”

Lewandowski didn’t seem to notice the contradiction. “Well, you know Chris, people die from other things too. It happens all the time. Some people die from heart attacks, some people die of cancer, and others might die from a hangnail.”

“Excuse me? A hang nail? Did you say, a hangnail?”

“Yes, a hangnail,” Lewandowski answered.

“You can”t be serious.”

“Of course I’m serious.”

“As far as I know, no one has ever died from a hangnail,” Wallace told him.

“How would you know, Chris? Have you ever had a hangnail?”

“What? Well, of course everyone gets hangnails. They can be quite irritating, but to suggest they can be fatal, is absurd.”

“How would you know, Chris? Are you a doctor?”

“What? What is this? I can’t believe we’re talking about hangnails.”

“Well, you asked, Chris and -“

“I didn’t ask about hangnails! I specifically asked you about the president’s claim that -“

“And I answered you, Chris -“

“No, you made some ridiculous claim that more people have died from hangnails than COVID.”

“How do you know hangnails can’t be fatal?

“Well… I don’t know.” Wallace was becoming frustrated with Lewandowski’s idiocy. “But it’s absurd to suggest that coronavirus patients are dying from anything but COVID, especially from a hangnail, for God sake. It’s almost laughable.”

“Not just hangnails, but heart -“

“Yeah, right,” Wallace cut him off, “I know, heart attacks and cancer – and hangnails. Does the president also believe that most COVID patients are dying from anything other than COVID?”

“Well, actually Chris, it was the president who suggested that many of them have died from infected hangnails,” Lewandowski said. “And not just from hangnails, but from ingrown hair, and ingrown nails, which means about fifty to sixty percent have died from other causes other than COVID, whether they’re from hangnails, ingrown hair, toenails, or from something else, we can’t be sure.”

Wallace stared at him, not sure how to respond to such nonsense. “Are you serious, Mr. Lewandowski?”

“Of course I’m serious. There’s no way there could be nearly two hundred and thirty thousand COVID-19 deaths. It’s ridiculous Chris.”

“What’s ridiculous is someone coming on here and making an insane claim about COVID patients not dying from COVID, but from hangnails, and ingrown hair and other nonsense.”

“It’s not nonsense,” Lewandowski said defensively. “It’s true.”

“It is nonsense,” Wallace insisted. “We invited you here to talk about the president’s claim that doctors may be profiting by exaggerating the actual number of COVID deaths and instead you -“

“Which is what we’re doing.”

“It’s not what we’re doing. I’m listening to somebody who sounds like a crackpot who believes in conspiracy theories, rather than a serious person.”

“Are you accusing me of lying, Chris?”

“I’m calling you a crackpot.”

“Are you saying the president’s a liar?”

“Well, if he believes that more people are dying from hangnails than COVID, then I’m also calling him a crackpot and a liar.”

Lewandowski scowled angrily at Wallace. “You know Chris, I came on in hopes that we could have a conversation between two adults, and you’ve insulted me, and you’ve also insulted the president.”

“I think this conversation’s over, sir,” Wallace said. He gave a cutting gesture indicating that the interview was over.

“You’re damn right it’s over.”

Instead of ending the interview, Lewandowski continued scowling at him.

“Sir, I said -” Wallace was about to repeat that the interview had ended, then he sniffed, wrinkling his nose in disgust. “What is that?” He looked around at the two cameramen. Both of them shrugged, their nostrils also flaring in disgust.

“What the hell is that ungodly odor?” he asked again. “Dear God, what is that smell?”

He looked toward the cameramen again. Both of them shook their heads. It wasn’t them. Lewandowski was still scowling at him. One of the cameramen made a gagging noise, while the other pulled the neck of his shirt up over his nose.

“Sir, did you… did you soil yourself?” Wallace asked Lewandowski. “What are you, two years old?”

Lewandowski didn’t answer. He continued staring at Wallace.

“Why would you do something so disgusting?”

Lewandowski didn’t answer. He stood up slowly. The stench became worse. An invisible wave of stench permeated the air around Lewandowski, like the cloud of dust and dirt that followed the Peanuts character, Pig Pen. It encompassed the entire studio like the stench of skunk, instantly assailing the nostrils. Wallace also stood up. A moment later a security guard appeared to escort him from the studio. “Jesus f***ing Christ!” he muttered, keeping his distance.

“Dear God, I literally don’t know what to say,” Wallace said after Lewandowski had left the studio. “We invite a grown man on this broadcast for a serious discussion, and he becomes so unhinged that he literally craps himself like a toddler in preschool. I mean, if it wasn’t so disgusting, and so embarrassing, I would probably be laughing right now.
“It’s the last time we’ll have that guy on.”

The Real Reason Trump Walked Away From The 60 Minutes Interview – His Hair / The Weekly Journal

The Real Reason Trump Walked Away From The 60 Minutes Interview – His Hair / The Weekly Journal

President Trump stormed out of an interview with 60 Minutes correspondent Leslie Stahl at the White House last Tuesday afternoon.

According to CNN correspondent Kaitlan Collins, the “drama” occured in the Oval office.

“Apparently there was some drama while President Trump was taping his interview today,” she wrote on twitter. “He abruptly ended the interview after around forty-five minutes and did not return for a scheduled “walk and talk” he was supposed to tape with Pence, I am told by sources.

According to one source, Trump walked out of the interview because it was alleged that he had become frustrated with Stahl’s line of questioning. Another source said that most of the interview was focused on the coronavirus pandemic and he was reluctant to discuss a subject that had caused him so much frustration over the last few months. Still another source said it was because Stahl failed to wear a mask in the White House.

But it wasn’t about Stahl’s questioning or her failure to wear a mask that upset the president. It had to do with his hair. For years people have been making fun of his hair. Some have speculated that it’s the result of one of his parents having cross bred with an orangutan, or that it’s some sort of symbiotic parasite that had attached itself to his scalp.

Stahl attempted to start the interview by bringing up Joe Biden’s alleged connection to the Ukraine controversy involving his son Hunter Biden, but the president wasn’t having it. He wanted to talk about his hair.

“There’s only one thing people want to hear about more than anything else, and that’s my hair, ” he told Stahl.

“Excuse me?”

“Do I stutter, Leslie? You’re not talking to stuttering Sleepy Joe here.”

Stahl stared at him, confused.

“What? You want to talk about your hair?”

“That’s right, my hair. What else is there to talk about?”

“Well… the issues? Aren’t they more important than your hair?”

“Not really,” the president said. “I mean, what would be the point? I’m going to win the reelection anyway, so we may as well talk about something that’s really incredible – like my hair. Look at it, Leslie. Don’t you think it’s incredible?”

He ran a hand through it, then tried to flip it back as if he were a teenage boy with long hair. He looked ridiculous.

Stahl stared at him. She had no idea how to respond.

The president went on praising his hair. “It’s fantastic, it’s stupendous, it’s amazing, it’s fabulous, it’s incredible,” he said, making his familiar hand gestures. “Just ask all my fans. They love my hair.”

“I really don’t care what your fans think of your hair, and I doubt most people – can we just talk about – ?”

” ‘My hair?’ the president interrupted. 

Stahl sighed, shaking her head,  frustrated with the president’s unwillingness to talk about the issues. Anyone who was familiar with the issues, knew exactly why he was unwilling to discuss the issues. He was a train wreck on every issue and he knew it. Taxes, health care, the economy, the coronavirus response. He was trying to avoid embarrassing himself, which was ironic since talking about his hair instead of the issues would make him the butt of countless memes and jokes – as if it were not already.

At this point, Laura Ingraham, Sean Hannity – or better yet, Jeanine Pirro, the most enthusiastic Trump sycophant of them all – would be fumbling all over themselves to stroke his ego, and his rug, in addition to burying their noses deep into his rear end.

“Touch it, Leslie,” he said, leaning forward. “You’d be amazed how soft it is. I only use the best shampoos, the softest shampoos, Melanie’s shampoos.” He attempted to flick it back again, and again he looked ridiculous.

“I’m not touching your hair, Mr. President,” Stahl said, feeling creeped out by the president’s behavior.

“Why not?”

“Let’s talk about some of the issues that should be brought up at the next debate.”

“Let’s talk about my hair.”

Stahl tried to ignore him. “The coronavirus. You claim your response to the pandemic was excellent -“

“That’s right. I take full responsibility. It’s not my fault. Next question. Preferably about my hair.”

“Black Lives Matter. You’ve referred to them as a terrorist -“

“I don’t want to talk about people who fry pigs like bacon. Let’s talk about my hair.”

“Antifa. You’ve also referred to them as a -“

“My hair.”

Stahl looked at Trump as if he were losing his mind. Republicans were fond of ridiculing Joe Biden for his occasional mental lapses, but the way the president was behaving, Stahl was having serious doubts about his mental state.

“You’ve referred to Antifa as your hair?” she asked.

“No, Leslie, you’re confused. Why would I call my hair Antifa? My hair is not a terrorist group.”

“You’re right. I am confused. I can’t understand why you won’t talk about the issues that are important to voters.”

“Well, my hair is an important issue that voters are concerned about. Ask anybody.”

Stahl stared at him a moment. The cameraman stared at him. Stahl burst out laughing. The cameraman grinned.

“Nobody gives a s*** about – excuse my French – your hair, Mr. President!” she said still laughing. She had a mental image of Trump supporters being questioned as to whether his hair should be included on the ballot as an important issue, with all of them bobbing their heads in unison. She laughed even harder.

“What’s so funny?”

Stahl was laughing so hard she fell from her chair and onto the floor. When the cameraman saw her hit the floor, he too burst out laughing. The president stared at them, bewildered.

“What the hell’s so funny?”

Both Stahl and the cameraman continued laughing. Without saying another word, the president stood up, unclip his mic from his lapel, flicked back his hair again – looking ridiculous – and walked out of the room shaking his head.

“When he said his hair was an important issue that voters actually care about, I lost it,” Stahl later told the Weekly Journal. “I just lost it. I had an image of Trump supporters fawning over that – whatever it is – on his head. It looks like, I don’t know, like a porcupine or something sitting on his scalp. I also had an image of Rush Limbaugh stroking Trump’s hair telling him that it was as soft and smooth as a baby’s butt, and I couldn’t take it. I not only fell apart, but fell out of my chair.”

The president was upset by Stahl’s unwillingness to talk about his hair, but the producers of 60 Minutes were able to talk him into doing another interview – on one condition. Stahl had to agree to say something nice about his hair in the future, to which she reluctantly agreed.

“It was the weirdest interview I’ve ever been a part of,” Stahl concluded. “I always knew the president was a narcissist, but this was just ridiculous. It was also one of the creepiest. When he asked me to touch his hair, I could imagine how Stormy Daniels and all the other women felt when he told them he wanted to grab them by the p*****s. It was really creepy. But at least I got a good laugh out of it, and to be honest, I don’t know if I’ll ever have anything nice to say about that thing on his head.”

Uncle Ted To Design New Diaper Logo For TPUSA

Uncle Ted To Design New Diaper Logo For TPUSA

Ted Nugent has announced that he has been asked by Charlie Kirk to create a unique design for the diaper wearing young conservative group TPUSA. TPUSA is the organization founded by Kirk that has been involved in several controversies over the years, one of them being a failed attempt to protest safe spaces on college campuses.

Better known to his fans as Uncle Ted, and The Motor City Madman, the outspoken conservative rocker is the host of Spirit Of The Wild, a long running series currently on the Outdoor channel. Nugent has described the show as a great achievement where hunters and second amendment supporters can tune in each week to watch their favorite rocker blow away lots of animals with his favorite gun Adeline while getting their rocks off.

On his upcoming series Captain SpongeTed Squishy Pants, Nugent has described the show as a pro-Trump conservative hero who’s super power is punishing evil doers with diaper goo. The weekly series will feature the main character battling an evil libtard, or other leftist who has done everything they can to damage the good name and reputation of America’s finest president. Evil Dr. Pelosi, ‘Sleepy Opossum’ Joe Biden and Comrade Sanders are just a few that will make appearances each week. However, none of them have endorsed the series or will voice their own characters.

During an interview earlier this week with The Detroit News, Nugent revealed that the Pampers spokesman had asked him to design a special logo for his favorite brand, during an interview on the Charlie Kirk Millennial Diaper Podcast.

“When Charlie invited me onto his podcast, I jumped at the chance because it was the first time I’ve been asked, and I’ve always liked Charlie. He’s a great guy. Some people think he’s weird because he often wears diapers, but if they knew the real Charlie, they wouldn’t think he was so weird. They would understand exactly why he wears diapers, because he believes it’s the only way to “own the libs,” and that makes him a hero to the conservative movement. In fact, the character Squishy Pants was inspired by Charlie because he’s not afraid to wear diapers.”

“Charlie says when he wears diapers to own the libs,” Nugent continued, “it’s not an indictment of himself, but a reflection of liberals and their attitude toward conservatives, and their love of safe spaces. It’s no different when I wear a confederate tee shirt. It’s not a reflection on my character, it’s a reflection on how racist liberals and leftists are. They see racism where there is no racism.”

Nugent said he could only think of a couple of designs, one of them the confederate flag, and the other the character of his new Adult Swim television series, Captain Squishy Pants. “Charlie said that was alright. He already had plenty of girly designs.

Nugent revealed that Kirk has also asked him to become a member of TPUSA. He said he is thrilled and honored to be a member, and plans to attend an upcoming seminar by TPUSA as a guest speaker, on the proper etiquette for treating those who choose to wear diapers, and the fine art of owning the libs. The event is scheduled for sometime next Spring. The event will feature current members and prominent figures in the conservative media, such as Candace Owens, Dana Loesch – who according to Nugent, will give a speech on the second amendment and the right to own guns while wearing diapers, and how the two are entertwined – and Tomi Lahren who has compared the silencing of conservatives on college campuses to lynchings by the Klan to prevent them from exercising their first amendment rights. Tucker Carlson will also make an appearance with a speech condemning the anti-American Left on their hypocrisy for refusing to wear crotch masks after criticizing conservatives and the president for their failure to wear masks during the pandemic.

Nugent said the featured part of the event will be him and Kirk doing a reenactment of the first episode of SpongeTed, where Nugent’s character battles the evil Dr. Pelosi who refuses to endorse president Trump’s COVID relief package. Allie Stuckey will portray the libtard villain with a Nancy Pelosi mask.

Nugent says he is currently writing his autobiography, Uncle Ted: The Adventures Of Captain Squishy Pants, which is scheduled for release next Fall, and is also planning a new album with the same title.

Rudy Giuliani Hacks Up A Lung During Pro Trump Speech

Rudy Giuliani Hacks Up A Lung During Pro Trump Speech

At a campaign rally in Philadelphia Monday, Trump lover and former Mayor of New York, Rudy Giuliani hacked up a lung after some questionable comments on the coronavirus.

Appearing at a small pro Trump gathering billed as an Italian Americans For Trump event, Giuliani claimed that people are no longer dying from coronavirus infection.

Highlights from the event include –

Giuliani told the small crowd that he had taken hydroxychloroquine – even though he had earlier claimed to have tested negative for COVID – the drug that was allegedly discredited as a treatment.

“I took one this morning,” he said. “I was exposed four days ago. Four negatives.” ( One would wonder why he would bother taking it if he had tested negative ).

“My doctor makes me take it because he believes it’s a prophylactic, ( you know, like wearing a condom. If I shoot my wad, I will never be falsely accused of sexual misconduct and be labeled a pervert like president Trump ).”

The crowd cheered wildly. Someone yelled, “You da man, Rudy, shoot dat wad!”

On Joe Biden:

“He’s a slimy crooked politician.” ( Giuliani should take a look in a mirror; he would see a slimy, crooked politician looking back at him ). “But he comes across as a nice old man. ( Too bad Giuliani doesn’t come across as anything but a buffoon ). “He’s a Catholic, a fake Catholic”, to which a doofus in the crowd yelled, “Killing babies two days before they’re born – he’s okay with it!”

On Black Lives Matter Giuliani let his racism shine through:

“They shout ‘kill police!’ ” he falsely claimed. “Pigs in a blanket, fry ’em like bacon! Black Lives Matter equals ‘kill cops,’ ” to which another doofus yelled out, “Build the wall. Keep them commies out!’

And it’s founded by people who killed cops,” he said mentioning Susan Rosenberg as an example, a former fugitive who was not a founding member of BLM. It was founded by three women who had never killed a cop.

On the McCloskey’s, the gun-toting couple who threatened the BLM protesters with guns in their St. Louis neighborhood:

He claimed the protesters had yelled, ‘we want to rape your wife! We want this for reperations!’ ” He also claimed their daughter had been hiding under a bed quaking in fear from all the threats of rape.

On the controversial comments:

“People aren’t dying from this disease anymore,” he told the cheering crowd. “Young people don’t die at all. Middle age people die very little, and even elderly people have a one percent chance of dying.”

Giuliani paused and coughed roughly into the mic, causing it to squeal in protest. The crowd winced. Giuliani tapped it firmly, causing another annoying squeal, which reverberated throughout the room, causing the crowd to wince again.

“Sorry folks,” he said, his already pale face turning even more pale. “I guess it has COVID. Maybe we should force it to wear a mask.”

The crowd glanced around at each other, not sure what to make of it. For a moment they looked from each other to Giuliani, not sure if he was being serious or telling a joke.

Giuliani’s face became even more pale. He swallowed noisly into the mic. Beads of sweat dribbled down his face. “I said… I guess it has COVID,” he said again. After a moment’s pause, the crowd erupted into laughter. He was telling a joke, of course.

Giuliani grinned nervously, obviously pleased with himself.

Instead of quieting down after a few seconds, the crowd continued laughing. They laughed so long and so hard, as if they found it to be one of the funniest jokes they had ever heard. People were falling all over each other. Those not wearing masks were holding onto each other like drinking buddies and laughing and spraying spittle in each other’s faces. Others had fallen from their seats and onto the floor. Some were staggering around, laughing so hysterically, falling over those who had fallen on the floor, which made them laugh even harder.

When Giuliani saw the crowd wasn’t quieting down, he started laughing himself. In a moment he was laughing so hard, he was doubled over clutching his gut. Then he began coughing and couldn’t stop.

When others in the crowd heard him coughing, they too started coughing uncontrollably. And that was when the entire crowd stopped laughing at once and stared supiciously at Giuliani.

Still coughing uncontrollably, he said, “Jesus Christ… Cough!…Cough! I feel like Cough!... Cough! I’m about to hack up a lung!”

He fell onto the floor where he continued hacking and coughing, his face turning beet red, and that was when the entire crowd stampeded for the doors.

Jim Acosta Fires Back As Trump Rally Goers Chant ‘CNN Sucks’: “Nothing Sucks More Than A Trump C**k Sucker”

Jim Acosta Fires Back As Trump Rally Goers Chant ‘CNN Sucks’: “Nothing Sucks More Than A Trump C**k Sucker”

Mediate reported yesterday that CNN’s Jim Acosta gracefully responded to chants of “CNN sucks” from Trump supporting rally attendees in Sanford, Florida where the president held his first rally since contracting COVID-19 more than a week ago.

Highlights fom the rally –

“Under my leadership, we’re delivering a safe vaccine and a rapid recovery like no one can even believe,” Trump told the cheering crowd. “If you look at our upward path, no country in the world has recovered the way we have recovered. ( Our response was first rate and phenomenal. I immediately banned travel to and from China. That should have solved everything. That should have kept the virus out. I can’t for the life of me figure how more than 200,000 have died from COVID. It’s just not possible ).”

“I feel so powerful,” the president said later, beating his chest like Tarzan. “I’ll walk into that audience. I’ll walk in there. I’ll kiss everyone in that audience. I’ll kiss the guys ( – no, I’m not gay – ) and I’ll kiss the beautiful women… everybody, ( I’d even grab ’em by the you-know-what’s – but not the guys – and give ’em a big, fat, wet COVID kiss )!”

Reporting on the highlights from the rally, Acosta revealed the president’s campaign plans to Blitzer, and reminded him that Trump is down by at least ten points in most polls. In the background the familiar chant of “CNN sucks” could be heard from the crowd.

“Well, there you have it, Blitz,” Acosta finished. “As this crowd is chanting that there are members of the press here who suck ( – apparently, myself included – ) I should also point out what also sucks – getting the coronavirus. ( But nothing sucks more than a Trump c*** sucker, which is what this entire crowd seems to be ).”

The crowd booed in protest, but Acosta ignored it.

Mark Levin Says Bernie Sanders Is A Racist Because He’s Never Done The Things A Real Man Does

Mark Levin Says Bernie Sanders Is A Racist Because He’s Never Done The Things A Real Man Does

Mark Levin – AKA, Mr. Potato Head – never fails to fool his ever-dwindling audience of aging brain dead listeners and viewers that he knows anything about politics. And on this particular broadcast of his Levin TV show on Blaze TV, he did just what his aging audience of drooling boomers tune in to hear him say – something totally off the wall and out of left field.

“Bernie Sanders – or, as I call him, Cornel Sanders – is a radical Marxist communist!

“This a man who painted his finger nails when he was a kid, and probably still does!

“This is a man who never fixed a car or changed a tire because he was afraid he might damage those delicate painted finger nails The big sissy.

“This is a man who rode a girls bicycle when he was a kid. Did I mention that he’s a sissy? Well, he is!

“This is a man who played with dolls when he was a boy, or should I say, a sissy? And who played Tea Party with the neighborhood girls. Dear God, he’s a sissy!

“This is a man who dressed in his mother’s clothing as a kid.

“This is a man who faints at the sight of blood! The great big sissy!

“This is a man who never changed a bed pan, or made a deposit in one! Say it with me now.

“This a man who’s not a man at all because he’s never done any of the things you and I have done. He’s never shaved, he’s never smoked a cigar, he’s never drank beer, he’s never belched or passed gas, or picked his nose, or a million other things a man does, because he not a man. He’s a sissy who failed to move to move to Newark, New Jersey, or Camden, but moved to Vermont instead, and that’s what makes him a sissy, and a racist from top to bottom!

“Wouldn’t you agree, Mr. Producer?”

Mr. Producer: “Yeah, makes sense to me.”

Charlie Kirk: “Black Lives Matter Wants To Force Me To Wear A BLM Logo On My Pampers!”

Charlie Kirk: “Black Lives Matter Wants To Force Me To Wear A BLM Logo On My Pampers!”

Charlie Kirk, the founder and executive director of the conservative group Turning Point USA, has been having a shit fit over the recent protests over racial injustice that have taken place over the summer regarding the deaths of George Floyd, Jacob Blake, and Breonna Taylor.

A well-known grifter and an avid Donald Trump supporter, Kirk has for years been a laughing stock and a living online meme, mainly for a stunt meant to own the snowflake libs, that went horribly wrong. Ever since, the group has been mocked to no end.

Kirk and company have tried and failed on many occasions to own the snowflake libs in a series of mishaps that have led more to self-owning and extreme self-humiliation, but the conservative group proudly forges on in their never-ending quest to own the Left.

Lately, Kirk has spent much of his time on his podcast, The Charlie Kirk Millennial Diaper Podcast, impugning the reputations of the victims of police violence, and Black Lives Matter protesters as criminals and terrorists. On a recent broadcast, he slandered  Breonna Taylor, the deceased victim of police violence as a criminal who deserved to get shot, despite the fact that she allegedly has no known arrest record.

On a recent segment of Fox And Friends, Kirk told the hosts how divisive Black Lives Matter is because they want to force him to wear a BLM logo on his Pampers.

What if I told you that BLM Inc. said that it wants to force me to wear a BLM logo on all of my diapers? Would you think I was just being facetious? I know some people would say, ‘Charlie, you’re full of s***. But I assure you I’m not. My diapers are very clean at the moment. Besides, most of my diapers already have logos and designs on them. The ones I have on, have unicorns and rainbows on them.

“I’m being very serious. I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life. Black Lives Matter wants to start a race war, and what better way than forcing me to wear their logo on my diapers? This is an outright threat. A full frontal domestic terrorist assault in our country where a white boy from Wisconsin can’t wear his own diapers without being told how to wear them!”

“You’re right, Charlie,” Steve Doocy replied. “It is domestic terrorism.”

“It’s also racist,” Ainsley Earhardt said. “Are the FBI going to do anything about it, I wonder?”

“And are Joe Biden and the Democrats going to condemn it?” Brian Kilmeade said.

“Probably not,” Earhardt continued. “But if Trump comes out and condemns it, you can bet they’ll condemn him, and call him a racist like they always do.”

When reached for comment by Fox News, the civil rights group replied: “We did no such thing. Charlie Kirk is full of s*** as usual. Tell him he needs a diaper change, and then put him to bed.”

Mark Levin: “Kamala Harris Is A Radical Martian”

Mark Levin: “Kamala Harris Is A Radical Martian”

“Mark Levin dubs Kamala Harris the ‘most extremist radical politician ever to run for high office’ in the USA | Fox News”

In a recent broadcast of his radio show the one and only Great One informed his listening audience of eight that vice presidential candidate Kamala Harris is the most radical and extreme politician to run for office in the history of the United States.

Levin implored his audience of geriatric boomers to imagine how gut wrenching and devastating it would be for them if Harris became vice president, as he read from a list he made of policies he feared she might implement.

Levin: “Let me tell you why she’s so radical and extreme!

“She wants to give health care not only to illegal aliens, but to Earthlings! Obama already did that, for God sake! That’s the most extreme and radical idea I ever heard! How dare she?!

She wants to ban guns and the second amendment! Someone should tell her that Obama already did that, for God sake! How dare she?!

She wants to ban short order cooks! Obama already did that for God sake! Where are we supposed to eat without restaurants, and short order cooks to cook the food, for God sake?!

“She wants to eliminate frogging! Obama already did that for God sake! Where are kids suppose to hunt for frogs, for God sake?!

She wants to ban Geritol! Obama already did that, for God sake! Where are seniors suppose to get their energy boost, for God sake?! How dare she? I love Geritol!

“She wants to eliminate or ban natural gas, and by natural gas I mean cow farts and human gas! Obama already did that for God sake! How are we suppose to pass gas after eating beans or any other kind of food that makes us fart, for God sake?! What are we supposed to do, hold it in until we explode?!

“I don’t know about you, but as a geriatric senior I can’t imagine living my life without being able to take my Geritol, go frogging with my grandkids, eat in a restaurant without short order cooks, prevent illegal aliens or anyone else from getting health care, or passing gas after a spicy meal. It’s what America is all about. And Kamala Harris wants to take all of that away from you and me!

“And I’ll tell you why she wants to take all of that away: because she’s a radical extremist Martian, just as Barack Obama was a radical extremist Martian, only worse. Obama not only went to Mars in his youth, but his favorite television show as a kid was My Favorite Martian! That’s right, I said it!”

Mr. Producer: “I think the word you’re looking for is Marxist, not Martian.”

Levin: “No, Mr. Producer, I meant Martian!”

Tomi Lahren: “The Left Have Set Up Another CHAZ And CHOP In Trump’s Rear End Where They Are Living Rent Free”

Tomi Lahren: “The Left Have Set Up Another CHAZ And CHOP In Trump’s Rear End Where They Are Living Rent Free”

Tomi Lahren recently appeared on Fox And Friends to complain about the all powerfull left and their hatred for president Trump. The feisty conservative firebrand, who once compared Black Lives Matter to the Klan, had this to say during a discussion on the protests:

“During the previous eight years we had a wimpy, mom jeans wearing president who spent all of his time taking vacations and playing golf, who couldn’t be counted on to do a single days work,” she said at one point.

“But now we have a president who looks like a man, dresses like a man, walks like a man, and loves America because he wants to keep the confederate flag and statues in every state, and the left are doing everything they can to make him look bad. They’re trying to convince everyone that he’s racist, a fascist, and responded poorly to the pandemic, allowing over one hundred thousand to die, but the truth is, one hundred thousand dying compared to two hundred thousand dying of Ebola under Obama, is nothing, not even close.”

“Tomi, if I’m not mistaken, and I don’t think I am, I believe the correct number was two,” Steve Doocy corrected her.

“Whatever,” she shrugged. “It was still a tragedy. “The point is, it proved that Obama couldn’t find his you-know-what with a flashlight, while Trump doesn’t need one. He’s already found his. And since the left were chased out of Capitol Hill, they’ve taken up residence in president Trump’s rear end, and are living there rent free, where they’ve established another CHAZ and another CHOP, both of which are – by the way, most people don’t know this – named after Cher’s gay son, Chaz Chop Bono.”

“I doubt that, Tomi,” Doocy said. “Thanks for being with us.”

Mark Levin: “Obamagate Is Watergate On Stereos!”

Mark Levin: “Obamagate Is Watergate On Stereos!”
Mark Levin: “Obamagate is Watergate on stereos.”

According to conservative media narrative the Obama administration somehow managed to unlawfully spy on Donald Trump before he became president. The purpose for the alleged spying has never been made clear, but the consensus among most conservatives is that Obama ordered a wire tap on the Trump Tower phones by supposedly obtaining a FISA warrant to spy on him for… something.

As Americans are dying from complications due to Covid 19, the president and his supporters in the media continue to treat the pandemic as if it’s all just a deep state plot to bring down America’s greatest president, who not only managed to create the greatest economy since FDR – that has since imploded, with millions upon millions unemployed – but lowered black unemployment to historic levels, by turning cartwheels in the Rose Garden while waving the American flag and singing the Star Spangled Banner.

Over 100,000 have died since the first few cases were reported in mid January. You would think that that would send a red flag to conservatives who support the president that something is terribly wrong. But you would be mistaken. It would seem that they care more about something that former president Barack Obama allegedly did to the saint in the White House than they do about his incompetence and lack of leadership in the crises.

It started with the president’s tweet:


From there, conservative media echoed the claim until it became fact.

Mark Levin – who looks as if he’s suffering from an extreme case of jock itch, and whose voice personifies post nasal drip – allegedly was the first to echo this claim on his radio show.

“What did Barack Obama know, and when did he know it?!” he screamed to his listening audience of twelve. “He knew everything for God sake!

“You want to know how I know? Breitbart published an article about it for God sake! That’s how I know!

“Head Street published an article about it for God sake! That’s how I know!

“The New York Slimes published an article about it for God sake! That’s how I know!

“The Washington Compost published an article about it for God sake! That’s how I know! And that Marxist-communist-Muslim Obama put them all up to it!

Why, you ask?! I’ll tell you why! Because they didn’t want Trump to be president! It was a silent coup! This is the biggest scandal of our lifetime! It’s Watergate on stereos.

“It’s bigger than Benghazi, for God sake!

“It’s bigger than the IRS scandal, for God sake!

“It’s bigger than Fast And Furious, for God sake!

It’s bigger than Ferguson, for God sake!

It’s bigger than Baltimore, for God sake

“It’s bigger than that God awful Tan Suite, for God sake!

“It’s bigger than Latte Salute, for God sake!

It’s bigger than ACORN, for God sake!

“It’s bigger than The War On Christmas, for God sake!

“It’s bigger than Obamacare, for God sake!

“It’s bigger than Vacation gate, for God sake

“It’s bigger than Golf gate, for God sake!

“All of these scandals involved thousands of casualties, but you didn’t hear conservatives crying and whining about that did you? No, of course not! But the leftist media will tell you that 💯 thousand people dying from Coronavirus is the bigger scandal, even though they’re fudging the numbers. But it’s nothing compared to Obamagate! That’s right, I said it! Prove me wrong!”

“Actually,” Mr. Producer corrected him, “there were only about seven. And it’s steroids, not stereos.”