Posted in Alex Jones, Ann-Marie Murrell, Morgan Brittany, satire, Victoria Jackson

To Serve Obama Again , A Sequel : Obama Still Wants To Eat Your Kids!

Alex Jones’s ‘how did I get stuck with these kooks , crackpots , wackos , and fruitcakes?’ face.

From the Alex Jones radio show June 9 , 2017 – 

“Welcome to the show ladies and gentlemen. I’m Alex Jones , your host for the number one show in Texas , America , and around the world. I bring you the truth , and nothing but the truth , the truth that the main stream communist liberal news media won’t bring you because it’s controlled by George Soros , the biggest communist liberal in the world.

“I have three kooks on today’s show. One’s been here once or twice before. She’s even more of a  kook than the other two. She’s also crackpot , a wacko , and a fruitcake. She’s written several wacked out books about Barack Obama , including Obama And His Evil Twin Julio Want To Sacrifice Your Kids With Planned Parenthood , and Obama And His Evil Twin Julio The Mole Want To Kill My Granny With Obama Care. Like I said , she’s a real kook , crackpot , a wacko , and a fruitcake.  

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Smart , intelligent Conservative women , Victoria , Ann-Marie , and Morgan trying to convince Alex Jones that Obama still wants to eat their kids.

“My other two guests are Ann-Marie Murrell , and Morgan Brittany. I’m not sure if they’ve been here before or not , but they’ve also written some wacked out books about Obama , because besides being known as kooks , they’re also crackpots , wackos , and fruitcakes. Those books include , The Truth About B. O. And All Kinds Of Other Stuff , and I Was Attacked By B.O. Zombies That Tried To Eat My Brain , the latter which the three of them wrote together. And in case you’re wondering , ladies and gentlemen , those are not the titles of books about zombies with Body odor. Their latest book is  , To Serve Obama Again , A Sequel : Obama Still Wants To Eat Your Kids! has got to be the kookiest one yet. But I’m sure their next book will be even more kooky.    

“Welcome to the show , ladies.”

Ann-Marie : “Thanks for inviting us , Alex.”

Morgan : “I’m pretty sure we haven’t been here before.”

Alex : “Whatever.”

Victoria : “Did you invite us here just to make fun us , Alex?”

Alex : “You said it , not me. Let’s talk about the new book. Why would -“

Victoria : “Did you read it?”

Alex : “Why would I want to do that?”

Victoria : “Oh , I don’t know , maybe to know what it’s about.”

Alex : “I don’t have to read it to know it’s a piece of  – I mean something only a kook would write – in this case , three kooks – and something only a kook – or in this case , plural , kooks , your fans – would be interested in reading. The title itself tells me it’s got to be the kookiest book ever written. Why would -“

Victoria : “Gee , thanks for the great review , Alex.”

Alex : “You’re welcome. Now why would -“

Victoria : So , you still don’t believe his mole is the anti-Christ?”

Alex : “Of course not , it’s insane.”

Morgan : “You don’t believe Obama zombies tried to eat our brains?”

Alex : “How can they eat something that isn’t there to begin with?”

Victoria : “You don’t believe he still wants to kill my granny with Obama Care?”

Alex : “Obama Care doesn’t exist anymore!”

Victoria : “You don’t believe Julio helped him steal the elections , and that I cried and I cried when it happened?”

Ann-Marie : “Yeah , and all kinds of other stuff!”

Morgan : Yeah , like Mickey Mouse , Donald Duck , ACORN , the homeless , illegal immigrants , and the walking dead?”

Alex : “ACORN , the homeless , illegal immigrants , and the walking dead may have been involved , but to claim Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck were involved , only a genuinely crazy person would believe that.”

Victoria : “You don’t believe he’s still taking too many vacations?”

Alex : “What does any of this have to do with -“

Morgan : “Or that he’s still playing too much golf?”

Alex : “Why should I care about his vacations or golfing , he’s -“

Ann-Marie : “And you don’t believe he still wants to steal everyone’s guns?”

Victoria : “Or that he shredded a copy of the constitution and used the shavings as a salad topping?”

Alex : “What does any of this have to do with -“

Victoria : “You don’t believe he went to Mars to train for his tyrannical dictatorship of America , or that he’s a cross dressing lizard queen from planet Zork?”

Morgan : “And tried to infect us all with Ebola?”

Alex : “Alright , hold on. Just hold on! What does any of this have to do with the book?”

Victoria : “It has everything to do with it , Alex. If you don’t believe any of these facts , then you don’t believe he still wants to eat your kids.”

Ann-Marie : “And all kinds of other stuff!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Alex Jones, Katie Pavlich, satire/humor, Victoria Jackson

Bike Gate : Barack Obama’s Sixth Bloodiest Scandal : How Obama Smuggled Drugs To Mexican Drug Cartels In American Bicycles , Because He Hates Bicycles Like He Hates Guns And Wants To Outlaw Them Like He Wants To Outlaw Guns

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The King of kooks , crackpots , wackos , and fruitcakes.

From the Alex Jones Radio Show , December 26 , 2016 – 

“Welcome to the show , ladies and gentlemen. I’m Alex Jones , your host for the number one show in Texas and around the world.  

“We have two guests on today’s show. One is supposed to be a well-respected journalist who is the editor-in-chief for Town Hall.com , and a regular contributor to the Fox News channel. She’s written articles for Red State , and World Net Daily , which is one of the most credible sites on the internet in my opinion.  She’s written such gems as Golf Gate , and Vacation Gate , exposing Obama’s fascination with playing too much golf and taking too many vacations. She’s also written the definitive book on the Fast And Furious scandal ,  Barack Obama’s Bloodiest Scandal And It’s Shameless Cover Up. Her name is Katie Pavlich.

“My other guest isn’t so well-respected. In fact , she’s a well-known kook , crackpot , wacko , and an all around fruitcake. She’s also written some books about Obama , some of them so insane you would have to be just as much of a kook , a crackpot , wacko , and an all around fruitcake as she is , to read them and take them seriously. And believe me , every one of her fans are kooks , crackpots , wackos , and all around fruitcakes , because they do read them and take them seriously. Her name is Victoria Jackson , and together they’ve written a new book which is scheduled to be published next year by Obama Hates America Publishers.

Victoria : “Jeez , thanks a lot , Alex. I really appreciate the introduction.”

Alex : “You’re welcome , Victoria. Katie , what I can’t understand is why you chose to do a book with Victoria Jackson , a well-known kook , crackpot , wacko , and an all around fruitcake. I mean , what were you thinking? Weren’t you worried that people would also think you were a kook , a crackpot , a wacko , and a fruitcake?”

Katie : “Not really , Alex. She’s written some credible books exposing Barack Obama as the fraud that he is , so – “

Alex : “Name one.”

Katie : “Well , how about How Mickey Mouse , Donald Duck , Acorn , and , uh , something , something , I forget the rest of it.”

Victoria : “The Homeless , Illegal Immigrants , And The Walking Dead Helped Obama The Weasel Weasel His Way Into The White House.”

Katie : “Yeah , that’s it.”

Alex : “I can believe that Acorn , the homeless , illegal immigrants , and the walking dead might have been involved with getting Obama into the White house , but Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck? Come on! That’s ridiculous. Was Goofy involved too? How about Pluto?”

Katie : “What?”

Alex : “You don’t seriously believe that Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck had a hand in it , do you?”

Katie : “Well , Alex , there were reports that many of the ballots contained what appeared to be the signatures of assorted Disney characters. I’m not saying that Mickey and Donald actually signed any ballots. Most likely they were wearing costumes , and some people mistook them for the real thing.” 

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Victoria Jackson , the Queen of kooks , crackpots , wackos , and fruitcakes.

Victoria : “Not according to the people I talked to. I talked to five different people , and they all swore they saw Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck not only handing out Acorn ballots , but signing ballots themselves.”  

Alex : “Wow! Five different people?”

Victoria : “Yeah. You think I’m going to write a book without doing some research? Who do you think you’re talking to?”

Alex : “I don’t think I’m talking to a kook , a crackpot , a wacko , and an all around fruitcake. I know I’m talking to a kook , a crackpot , a wacko , and an all around fruitcake , who writes about anything that comes into her empty , crazy head.”

Victoria : “Did you invite me back to make fun of me again , Alex?”

Alex : “You said it , not me.”

Katie : “Alex , can we talk about the book , please?”

Alex : “Alright. Let’s drop the crazy talk and get to some serious business here , the communist Obama selling drugs to Mexican drug cartels. Katie , how do you know Obama has smuggled Mexican drug cartels drugs in bicycles?”

Katie : “Well , we know for a fact that Obama hates America , so it also makes sense that he hates everything else in America , including bicycles.”

Alex : “What does that have to do with smuggling drugs? And why would he hate bicycles? That doesn’t make any sense.”

Katie : “Hold on , I’m getting to it. First he gave them weapons in Fast And Furious , because he hates American gun owners and wants to take all their guns away , and now he’s giving them drugs because he hates bike owners and wants to take their bikes away from them.”

 Alex : “I still don’t get it. He’s giving them drugs because he hates bike owners?”

Victoria : “Yeah. He stole thousands of bicycles and hid drugs inside of them , smuggled them to Mexican drug cartels , because he wanted to justify taking everyone’s bicycles away just like he still wants to take everyone’s guns away.”

Alex : “That doesn’t explain why he hates bike owners.”

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Katie Pavlich , the Queen of cranks , and conspiracy theories.

Katie : “He hates bike owners because a White House staffer named Jake Brewer supposedly died in a bike riding accident during a cancer charity ride last year.”

Victoria : “Yeah. Obama probably had him killed because he’s a communist.”

Alex : “So , Obama stole thousands of bicycles , hid drugs inside of them , and then shipped them off to Mexican cartels because his friend Jake Brewer died in a charity bike ride?”

Katie : “That’s right.”

Alex : “That still doesn’t explain why he hates bike owners.”

Katie : “He hates bike owners like he hates gun owners. He hates gun owners and wants to grab everyone’s guns because he thinks they’re evil. But guns don’t kill people ; people kill people. He feels the same about bicycles. Just because his friend died on one  – “

Victoria : “Supposedly.”

Katie : “Supposedly. Just because his friend died on a bicycle , he thinks they’re evil too , and all of them need to be confiscated like he thinks all guns need to be confiscated.”

Alex : “People think I’m crazy , think I’m nuts , but that is literally one of the craziest things I’ve ever heard. It literally makes no sense. I can believe Obama would smuggle drugs to Mexican cartels because he’s an evil elitist communist who wants to take over America and set up his evil communist , Nazi , Muslim , gay New World Order , but to suggest that he’s smuggling drugs in bicycles because he believes they are just as dangerous as guns , is insane. 

Victoria : “You’re right. Obama is insane , and we have to stop him before it’s too late , or there won’t be anymore guns or bicycles left!”

Alex : “Yeah , Obama is insane , but you two are even more insane for believing this nonsense.”

Victoria : “It’s not nonsense.”

Alex : “Yes , it is. You’re both a couple of kooks , crackpots , wackos , and fruitcakes , who belong in a padded room with all of your readers who are also kooks , crackpots , wackos , and fruitcakes.”

Posted in Alex Jones, Victoria Jackson/satire

Alex Jones Interviews Victoria Jackson : Obama And His Evil Conjoined Twin Julio Want To Sacrifice Your Kids With Planned Parenthood And Then Eat Them Because They’re Not Only Cannibals , But Communists , And Everyone Knows Communists Eat Babies , Puppies And Everything Else

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Alex Jones and Victoria Jackson. Who’s crazier?

From the Alex Jones radio show , 10.11.2016 – “Welcome to the show ladies and gentlemen. I’m Alex Jones , your host for the number one show in Texas and around the world. We have a real kook on the show today. Her name’s Victoria Jackson. You may remember her from Saturday Night Live in the eighties and nineties. Some of you may remember her from her highly entertaining movies and television shows , whatever those may be. I can’t think of a single one that didn’t flop. She’s also written some really kooky books about Barack Obama.”

Victoria : “Jeez , Alex , thanks a lot. My books are no worse than yours.”

Alex : “Excuse me? There’s a big difference between my books and yours , Victoria. My books are well-researched and make sense. Your books are mostly insane , incoherent ramblings.”

Victoria : “Insane , incoherent ramblings? There’s nothing insane or incoherent about my books. Everything I’ve written about Obama is true , and everyone knows it.”

Alex : “True to other kooks.”

Victoria : “I’m not a kook , Alex.”

Alex : “You’re a crackpot.”

Victoria : “I’m not a crackpot.

Alex : “You’re a wacko.””

Victoria : “I’m not a wacko.”

Alex : “You’re a fruitcake.”

Victoria : “I’m not a fruitcake , either.”

Alex : “Listen. Anyone who writes a book about Obama’s mole and believes it’s the anti-Christ , is a kook , a crack pot , a wacko , and a fruitcake , and anyone who reads it and believes it , is also a kook , a crack pot , a wacko , and a fruitcake. So I would say all of your fans and readers are also kooks , crack pots , wackos , and fruitcakes.”

Victoria : “Are you saying your books are are more believable than mine?”

Alex : “That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

Victoria : ” So , your last book , Barack The Obamanable Snowman , is more credible than any of my books?”

Alex : “That’s right. All of my books are credible. Yours are the insane rantings of a crazy person , a kook , a crackpot , a wacko , and a fruitcake.”

Victoria : “You’re calling me crazy?”

Alex : “You said it , not me.”

Victoria : “Whatever , Alex. So if the CIA really turned Obama into a yeti , why is it more believable than his mole being the anti-Christ?”

Alex : “Because it’s a lot more believable and sane than a mole being the anti-Christ , for God sake! Moles are disgusting things with hair growing out of them. Only people can be the anti-Christ. If anyone is the anti-Christ , it’s Barack Obama himself.”

Victoria : “Well , they can if they’re not really moles , Alex. You see , Obama’s mole is really his  -“

Alex : ( Laughing ) “Yeah , yeah , I know , his evil conjoined twin  Julio , who has influenced him to be the most evil person in the world. I know Victoria , I read the book and it’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

Victoria : “Did you invite me here just to make fun of me , Alex?”

Alex : “I’m not making fun of you. I just think it’s funny that somebody would write a book about a mole being the anti-Christ.”

Victoria : “Well , it’s true.”

Alex : “Alright , Victoria , whatever you say. Let’s talk about your new book , Obama And His Evil Conjoined Twin Julio Want To Sacrifice Your Kids With Planned Parenthood And Then Eat Them Because They’re Not Only Cannibals But Communists And Everyone Knows Communists Eat Babies , Puppies And Everything Else. You come up with some of the kookiest titles for your books , Victoria. Didn’t you write another book with a similar title not too long ago?”

Victoria : “Yeah , To Serve Obama.

Alex : “To serve Obama what?”

Victoria : “What?”

Alex : “Waffles?”

Victoria : “What?

Alex : “You tell me. Wheaties , the breakfast of champions?”

Victoria : “What are you talking about?”

Alex : “I believe we were talking about serving Obama.”

Victoria : “Uh , yeah. To Serve Obama.”

Alex : “Serve him what? Waffles? Wheaties?”

Victoria : “Come on , Alex , be serious.”

Alex : “I am being serious. I can believe he wants to eat everyone’s kids , because he’s a monster , a chalupacabrabama and a yeti like I wrote about in my last two books. Chalupacabrabamas and yetis are ferocious beasts with insatiable appetites for chalupas and human flesh. But why would he need Planned Parenthood to eat everyone’s kids? It doesn’t make any sense.”

Victoria : “I’ll tell you why he needs Planned Parenthood. Because they kill thousands of babies every year , and because his brother Julio is the anti-Christ , and Julio wants Obama to perform human sacrifices of aborted babies to him , and what better way than to do it than Planned Parenthood because of the thousands of baby parts they have stored in freezers , and then when they have eaten all of the body parts , and performed enough human sacrifices at Planned Parenthood clinics all over America and have eaten all of the aborted babies , they planned to eat the rest of Americas kids , because they’re communists , and you know communists eat babies , puppies , and everything else.”

Alex : “OK. So why hasn’t Obama -“

Victoria : “And Julio.”

Alex : “And Julio – eaten everyone’s kids already?”

Victoria : “What do you mean?”

Alex : “Well , you claimed Michelle Obama’s book , American Grown , was a cook book , and it’s been four years , and they haven’t eaten a single kid as far as I know.”

Victoria : “It doesn’t mean they won’t.”

Alex : “It doesn’t mean they will , either.”

Victoria : “They will. You’ll see , Alex. Before Obama leaves office him and Julio will devour everyone’s kids first with Planned Parenthood , and then eat the rest of Americas kids.”

Alex :”Admit it , Victoria. This book is just another piece of sensationalist garbage , written for the gullible who believe every insane theory about Barack Obama.”

Victoria : “No , it’s not. It’s -“

Alex : “Yes , it is. You’re a kook , a crackpot , a wacko , and a fruitcake who belongs in a padded room wearing a straight jacket , and your readers and fans are kooks , crackpots , wackos , and fruitcakes , and also belong in padded rooms wearing straight jackets.”

Posted in Victoria Jackson

Excerpts From Victoria Jackson’s Book : Bye! Bye! America Died , That Was The Day That I Cried And I Cried … Part 6

Continued from chapter one : The Night Of The Twerking Dead

After barfing in the young paramedic’s face  , I wanted to crawl under a rock and just die. I didn’t mean to do it. The fact that I was feeling queasy from the cut on my head , and the disgust I felt at the twerkers , I just couldn’t help myself. It came without warning. 

The young man was more embarrassed than I was. I apologized , and he mumbled , “forget about it. It can happen to anybody.”

I called Paul from the hospital to come pick me up. He brought Aubrey and Scarlet with him. The cop who had taken my information about the accident , was leaving as they arrived.

“Mom , are you alright? ” Aubrey said. “You’re not in trouble , are you?”

“No , I’m fine. I just ran into the living dead , and almost killed a few zombies … literally. “

“Huh?”

“Obama supporters ,” I said.

Paul passed wind , a particularly loud wind. It was like an ocean breeze , carrying with it a fishy stench. I had no doubt that if we had been at the beach , this particular stench would have killed all the marine life for miles around.

“Jeez , dad! Do you have to do that here?”

“Yeah , Paul , cut it out! You’re stinking up the place!”

“Sorry. I just can’t help myself. Every time I hear Obama’s name I … can’t help myself.”

Several people in the waiting area looked at us in disgust. No doubt they had also heard it.

“I need to pick up my car ; it’s been towed away.”

“I’ll pick it up , mom ,” Scarlet said.

“Alright. But if you happen to see any Obama twerking zombies out there , try not to run them over ,” I said. “God knows I tried not to.”

“Sorry , mom , can’t make any promises.”     

Posted in satire/humor

God Told Me Julio Made Him Do It Again : I Was Attacked By Obama Zombies That Tried To Eat My Brain

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Victoria Jackson and her Politichicks co-hosts , smart , intelligent conservative women.

Conservatives believe some of the most ridiculous nonsense about Barack Obama. He’s a Marxist/socialist who was taught to hate the wonders of capitalism by the likes of Bill Ayers , Frank Marshall Davis , and Saul Alinsky ;  a Nazi fascist who rules with an iron fist because of Obama Care ,  executive order/action , gun control and his endorsement of same-sex marriage ;  a Manchurian candidate who arms ISSIS , and is working for the Muslim Brotherhood , whom he has invited into the White House with open arms.

These are just a few of the more common wing nut beliefs that some conservatives have about the president. Others are so bizarre they can only be found at conspiracy sites like Before It’s News ,  World Nut Daily , Town Hall , Patriot Update , and espoused by the likes of crazy lunatic Victoria Jackson and her equally crazy lunatic co-hosts at Politichicks , who believe all of the above to be true.

Many conservatives live in their own fantasy world where they believe everything they hear or read about the president , no matter how bizarre , or twisted it is. No amount of evidence to the contrary can convince them otherwise. Victoria Jackson and her co-hosts at Politichicks  are convinced that the president is a freedom hating Islamic terrorist who is intent on transforming America into a Muslim paradise ruled by sharia law , and they have convinced their readers and viewers that it is actually being implemented into the court system in certain states.

Victoria has written several idiotic , insane books about the president , including To Serve Obama , and The Mole That Is Not Really A Mole In The White House : Obama’s Mole Not Really A Mole But His Evil Conjoined Twin. Her last book , How Barack Obama Really Stole The Elections : God Told Me Julio Made Him Do It , was such a phenomenal best seller among Fox News viewers , who apparently , will never get enough of Victoria’s particular brand of insanity , that she decided to do a follow-up.

The new book , co-written with Ann-Marie Murrell , and Morgan Brittany , Julio Made Him Do It Again : I Was Attacked By Obama Zombies That Tried To Eat My Brain , will be released in early Spring , again from Obama Haters Tea Party Patriot Survival Club.

Brittany , and Murrell , co-authors of the book , What Women Really Want , are regular columnists for Town Hall , Patriot Update , and World Nut Daily , and have both  appeared on Fox many times over the years. Both women , in their columns , have accused the president of being a tyrannical dictator , and of supporting Islamic terrorists. In 2014 , Brittany – and the rest of the conservative media , which eagerly jumped on the band wagon – accused the president of manufacturing the so-called Ebola crisis , which wasn’t much of a crisis , to justify taking away everyone’s guns , and imposing martial law , both of which never happened.

Now she’s come up with a new conspiracy theory – which is included in the new book – that will be sure to have their devout fans on the edge of their seats.

The three of them have also appeared several times on the Kelly File with Megan Kelly.

Megan : “Welcome ladies. Victoria , last time you were here , you swore it would be your last. What changed your mind?”

Victoria : “The realization that time is running out , and we have to get Obama out of the White House.”

Megan : “You’re not still mad at me for being so mean to you?”

Victoria : “It wasn’t really your fault , Megan. You just don’t know any better.”

Megan : “What do you mean?”

Victoria : “Obama’s a gay Muslim communist , and he’s got everyone – well , almost everyone – fooled into believing that he’s saved America , the economy , and … and … what’s the word I’m looking for?”

Ann-Marie : “All kinds of stuff?”

Victoria : “Yeah , that’s it! He’s fooled everyone into believing he’s saved America from all kinds of stuff , and because liberals and progressives – who are really communists – are brainwashed , they believe it.”

Megan : “Are you suggesting that he’s got me fooled? For your information , nobody’s got me fooled. And all kinds of stuff is four words. But , anyway , what  exactly do they believe?”

Victoria : “You know , all kinds of stuff.”

Megan : “Such as?”

Victoria : “Well , that he’s not a gay Muslim communist.”

Megan : “But that’s not an example of how he’s fooled everyone into believing he’s saved America. Ann-Marie , Morgan? Got any ideas?”

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Ann-Marie Murrell , and Morgan Brittany trying to come up with an example of how Obama has fooled stupid and brainwashed liberals into believing he has saved America.

Ann-Marie : “Uh … well , uh … “

Megan : “Morgan?”

Morgan : “Uhhhmm … let’s see … uh … “

Megan : “This is not a quiz , guys. It’s a simple question that requires a simple answer.”

Ann-Marie : “Hold on , I’m thinking.”

Morgan : “Me too.”

Victoria : “Oh , I know! I know!” ( she raises her hand ).

Megan : “There’s no need to raise your hand , Victoria. You’re not in class.”

Victoria : “The economy?!”

Megan : “You already said that.”

Victoria : “Then why did you ask , Megan?!”

Megan : “Oh , dear lord. Why don’t we just get to the new book?”

Victoria : “Did you read it this time?”

Megan : Yes , I did.”

Victoria : “And what did you think of it?”

Megan : “You don’t really want to know.”

Victoria : “You didn’t like it?”

Megan : “It doesn’t matter if I like it or not. What matters is that your readers like it , as I’m sure they will once you  tell them what it’s about.”

Victoria : “It’s mostly about an experience the three of us had at a CPAC convention three years ago. We were all guest speakers talking about the importance of getting Obama out of the White House , and ridding America of liberals and progressives – who are really communists , and fascists , and gay Muslim lovers -“

Ann-Marie : “And all kinds of other stuff.”

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Victoria Jackson , explaining how Obama is destroying America , and all kinds of other stuff.

Victoria : “Yeah , and all kinds of other stuff , because they want to destroy it , because that’s what they were all taught to do by Bill Ayers , Saul Alynski , and Frank Marshall Davis , who is Obama’s real daddy. We know this for a fact , because the Muslim Brotherhood are hanging out in the White House , and Obama’s making rap videos with them and they’re giving him advise on foreign policy , telling him to support ISSIS , the murder of Christians in the middle east , and to thumb his nose at Israel because he’s a narcissist with a huge ego who can’t wait to call himself king and emperor of the world.”

Megan : “What? And I suppose Julio told you that president Obama is making rap videos with the Muslim Brotherhood?”

Victoria : “No , Megan! God told me! Jeez! You really need to pay attention.”

Megan : “Sorry. So , God told you that president Obama is rapping with the Muslim Brotherhood , and – “

Victoria : ( anger in her voice ) “And Julio made him do it!”

Megan : ( laughing ) “Julio made him do it! Oh God , here I go again! I can’t stop it!”

Victoria : “Stop laughing , Megan! It’s not funny!”

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Megan Kelly can’t stop laughing at Victoria Jackson.

Megan : ( still laughing ) “Yes it is! It’s still the funniest thing I’ve ever heard! Obama’s mole is the Anti-Christ , and its name is Julio! Oh Jesus Christ , God almighty , Jesus , Mary , Joseph , and the apostles , and the donkey He rode into Jerusalem on! ( laughing so hard , she slapped the table top a few times , startling Anne-Marie , and Morgan , both of whom had been staring at her with a half puzzled , half shocked expression.

Victoria : “I warned you , Megan! You better stop laughing or else -“

Megan : “Alright , alright , OK , no more laughing. Now what happened at the CPAC convention?”

Victoria : “What do you think happened , Megan? We were attacked by Obama zombies that tried to eat our brains! That’s what happened. Ann-Marie and Morgan were sitting behind me , waiting to speak , when mindless , drooling zombies rushed the stage , apparently angry that I was criticizing their zombie boss. There were dozens of them , just like in that TV show , the Walking Dead. Their eyes were lifeless , and they were chanting  Obama , and must have brains , over and over again. The crowd scattered out of their way , screaming and begging not to be eaten , but some of them were caught anyway , and their brains were instantly devoured. We knew we had to get out of there , or we would be next , so we ran for our lives , and managed to escape just in time.”

Megan : “You’re just making this up , aren’t you? Come on , admit it.”

Victoria : “I’m not making anything up. It really happened. Didn’t it , Morgan , Ann?”

Morgan : “It really happened.”

Anne-Marie : “Yep , and all kinds of other stuff.”

Victoria : “And it will happen again. Obama will suspend the elections , and announce himself king and emperor , and then he will unleash his hordes of zombies ,  the Fema Corp Youth Brigade – who are communists and Nazis – and the infant ninja warrior army that Alex Jones warned us about , on everyone but his followers , and they will round-up all of us patriots  and throw us in Fema camps , and then eat our brains , and then bury us all in millions of coffins. Ask Morgan. She predicted it will happen. She’s never wrong.”

Megan : “And I suppose Julio will make him do that , too?”

Victoria : “Yes , Megan! Julio makes him do everything , Megan! Everything is Julio’s fault! He is the Anti-Christ , after all!”

Megan : “Julio made him do it again!” ( she bursts out laughing ).

Victoria : “I told you Megan , if you don’t stop laughing , this really will be my last appearance on your show.”

Megan : “Like I said last time , Victoria , I seriously doubt it.”

Victoria : “Oh yeah? Watch me again! And this time I mean it!”

Anne-Marie : “And all kinds of other stuff!”

Posted in satire/humor

Twenty Ridiculous Things Conservatives Would Blame On Obama If They Could … Part 1

Since Obama first set foot in the White House , conservatives have blamed him for everything real and imaginary : The financial collapse of 2008 that happened under Bush ; the so-called IRS scandal ; the Deepwater Horizon oil spill ; Benghazi ; the rise of ISIS ( never mind that the Status OF Forces Agreement signed by Bush stated that American forces must withdraw from Iraq by the end of 2011 ) , the Katrina debacle , gun confiscation , racially dividing America , destroying the economy , 9/11. You name it , chances are it’s Obama’s fault.

Obama haters seldom accept responsibility for their own actions and love to hate and blame Barack Obama and liberals for everything , so I thought I would list some of the most ridiculous things that conservatives could blame on him.

  • Aviary Photo_130981563006739488
    Obama made her do it , just as he made Wikipedia suppress the real history of Paul Revere’s midnight ride! Thanks Obama!

    Bristol Palin’s pregnancies. Sarah Palin knows that her daughter isn’t really responsible for her own pregnancies , just as she knows her son Track isn’t responsible for getting himself arrested while allegedly kicking his girlfriend in the head while drunk , and while holding an assault rifle. The contraception mandate in the Affordable Care Act is , without a doubt , a birth control plot by the Obama administration , which is , apparently , a part of his nefarious plan to reduce the population through Agenda 21. Thanks Obama!

  • Donald Chump’s hair. Is The Donald’s hair for real , or a rug? I don’t know. Sometimes I wonder. There have been so many jokes about it over the years , I wouldn’t be surprised if it suddenly acquired a life of its own. If that ever happened , conservatives would no doubt , blame it on Obama , because liberals have joked about it so often.
  • Sarah Palin’s retelling of the midnight ride of Paul Revere. Anyone who knows their basic American history , knows Paul Revere warned the colonists that the British were coming. Sarah Palin remembers it differently , as if she were there. According to Sarah “I know my history” Palin , Revere actually warned the British that were already there that they would not get their guns. Some of her fans were so convinced of her version of reality that they attempted to alter certain information in the Paul Revere Wiki page. But the page administrators corrected the alterations , which was probably a plot by Obama to suppress the truth. The more I think about it , the more it begins to make sense.
  • Victoria Jackson’s detachment from reality. It’s no secret that Victoria Jackson is insane. Some believe her crazy performance is actually an act. But , I’m not so sure. Since leaving Saturday Night Live , she’s become a Tea Party activist , blogger , and a political expert , convinced Obama is not only a communist , and a Muslim , but a gay Muslim who will destroy America and hand it over to his buddies in the Muslim Brotherhood. She’s also convinced herself , and her devout readers and fans , who are just as insane as she is , that Obama’s mole , his evil conjoined twin – whose name is Julio – is the Ant-Christ ; that he wants to eat Americas kids ; he’s a ruthless dictator who rules with his Magic Pen ; Mickey Mouse , Donald Duck , Acorn , the homeless , illegal immigrants , and the walking dead ( not the TV series , but the real walking dead ) helped him steal the elections , and that Julio made him do it. It was all his fault , but Barack will still get the blame. And apparently , he’s to blame for Victoria’s ODS.
  • Aviary Photo_130981566766972751
    Stacy Dash , Fox News’s political expert.

    Stacy Dash’s numerous lapses of reality. Another clueless celebrity who suffers from Obama Derangement Syndrome. Dash , washed up actress turned political pundit , seems to put her foot in her mouth every time she opens it. She’s denied racism in the Tea Party , claimed the Republican Party endorses same-sex marriage ( despite the fact they’ve thrown temper tantrums over it , calling down the wrath of the Almighty ) , there were no be-headings under Bush , claims Obama is solely responsible for racial division , and more recently , accused the president of not giving a shit about Islamic terrorism – even though he’s bombed the shit out of ISIS , and Al-Qaeda. I could go on and on with this dimwit , but writing about people this dense , is exhausting.

    Conservatives live in their own reality where everything is always Obama’s fault.

Posted in Victoria Jackson/satire

How Barack Obama Really Stole The Elections : God Told Me Julio Made Him Do It

Tea Party conservatives have believed for years that Barack Obama is a phony and a fraud. They believe he won the elections with the help of his communist friends in Acorn , with Mickey Mouse , Donald Duck , the homeless of America , illegal immigrants , and the walking dead – not the TV series. How else could he have become president? After all , he’s not really an American , according to birthers , many of whom still insist that he was really born in Kenya to communist parents , and personally mentored by Bill Ayers , Saul Alinsky , and Frank Marshall Davis , who were also communists.

Then there are  those who believe that he won the elections through a much more sinister method. To them , the elections were manipulated by the mole beside Obama’s nose  , otherwise known as Julio Obama , Barack’s evil twin brother , who , according to Victoria Jackson , is the Anti-Christ.

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Victoria Jackson. Insane Tea Party patriot. Frequent and favorite guest of the Fox News audience.

Victoria , an insane Tea Party patriot , and conservative blogger , has convinced many of her fellow party members and legions of fans that she is quite sane. She’s written several gems about Barack Obama , including , Barack’s Magic Pen , and To Serve Obama. She’s appeared several times on Fox to promote her ridiculous books. Her latest book , even more insane than her last one , How Barack Obama Really Stole The Elections : God Told Me Julio Made Him Do It , is scheduled to be released by Obama Haters Tea Party Patriot Survival Club , early next year.

 She’s appeared numerous times on Fox’s The Kelly File , with Megan Kelly. Recently she  was invited back to talk about her latest gem. Apparently , her fans still can’t get enough of her , and are just as insane as she is.

Megan : “Victoria , welcome back.”

Victoria : “Thanks for having me back again , Megan. I really appreciate it.”

Megan : “Well , like I said last time you were here , don’t thank me. It wasn’t my idea to have you here. The only reason you’re here is because every time you make an appearance , the ratings sky-rocket. You have your fans to thank for that.”

Victoria : “How nice.”

Megan : “The last time you were here , you said president Obama won the elections through voter fraud , with his communist friends in Acorn , and also with Mickey Mouse , Donald Duck , the homeless , illegal immigrants , and the walking dead -“

Victoria : “Not the TV show.”

Megan : “Not the TV show. But , the last time you were on Hannity , you said that the mole beside the president’s nose – “

Victoria : “Julio.”

Megan : Julio. Is the Anti-Christ.”

Victoria : “Yes , that’s right.”

Megan : “I can’t believe I’m about to ask this. Was he also involved in the plot to rig the elections?”

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Megan still can’t believe how crazy Victoria Jackson is , and how anyone can possibly find her credible , as she shamelessly hawks her latest idiotic and insane book – How Barack Obama Really Stole The Elections : God Told Me Julio Made Him Do It – on The Kelly File.

Victoria : “Of course , he was. It was all his idea. You see , Obama isn’t smart enough to think of it on his own , even though liberals and progressives – who are really communists – claim he was a constitutional scholar. He really wasn’t. He really doesn’t know anything about it , which is why he’s always shredding it , because he’s incompetent. To prove just how incompetent he is  , do you know that he recently shredded the constitution in a salad and fed it to his family , and communist friends , the Democrats? Yeah , he really did! Anyway , it was Julio Obama’s idea to rig the elections.”

Megan : “And how do you know all of this?”

Victoria : “Didn’t you read the book?”

Megan : “No , I haven’t. I still haven’t finished the last one.”

Victoria : “Why not?”

Megan : “Well … to be honest ,  it’s kind of  idiotic , and insane.”

Victoria : “No , it’s not , it’s the truth. You would know that if you bothered to read it.”

Megan : “I promise to read it , after I finish with the last one. Now tell me , how do  you know all of this?”

Victoria : “Oh , alright. But you better read both of them , or I swear this is the last time you’ll see me here.”

Megan : “I doubt that.”

Victoria : “God told me.”

Megan : “God told you?”

Victoria : “Yes , God told me.”

Megan : “God told you that Obama rigged the elections? God told you that the president’s mole is the Anti-Christ?”

Victoria : “No , Megan , haven’t you been paying attention?! Jeez! God told me that Obama rigged the elections , but he didn’t tell me that Julio Obama is the Anti-Christ. You really need to get out more! Someone I met at a FBI meeting told me that Julio is Obama’s … wait … Obama’s mole is … the Anti-Christ. Yeah , that’s it.”

Megan : “Alright. So , let me see if I can get this straight. God told you that the president rigged the elections , but someone  else told you that Julio Obama – his mole – is the Anti-Christ?”

Victoria : “That’s right.”

Megan : “So , you met this stranger who told you that Obama’s mole is the Anti-Christ , and that its name is Julio , and you believed it? How do you know they weren’t  making it up just to get a reaction out of you? I mean , you’ve promoted some crazy ideas before. Maybe they were just putting you on.”

Victoria : “What crazy ideas? Everything I’ve said about Obama is the truth. And his moles name really is Julio! God told me that , too!”

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Megan laughing hysterically at hearing how Victoria learned that God told her Obama’s mole was named Julio.

Megan ( laughing ) : ‘Oh , my God! Oh , Lord! Oh , Jesus Christ , God almighty! Jesus , Mary , and Joseph! ( she laughs so hard that she nearly falls out of her seat ) OK , Well , I’m confused again. More than I was the last time you were here. You said God told you that Obama rigged the elections , but before that , you said he wasn’t smart enough  , that it was all Julio’s idea. Did God tell you that , too , or did you figure that out on your own?” ( she bursts out laughing again , and this time she does fall out of her seat ).

Megan : “Julio made him do it! Oh , God! That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard!” ( another fit of laughter ).

Victoria : “It’s not funny , Megan! There’s no reason to be so mean!”

Megan : “I’m not being mean , I’m just – ” ( she bursts out laughing again ).

Victoria : “I warned you , Megan. This is my last appearance on your show.”

Megan : “Oh , I seriously doubt that , Victoria.”

Victoria : “Oh yeah? Watch me.”

 

 

Posted in satire/humor

How Mickey Mouse , Donald Duck , Acorn , The Homeless , Illegal Immigrants , And The Walking Dead Helped Obama The Weasel Weasel His Way Into The White House

Aviary Photo_130911641360998692Since Barack Obama was elected into the White House  , conservatives have been baffled as to how a black man could have become president without rigging the election. After all , as any respectable , well-informed conservative knows , he was a fraud to begin with , a communist , mentored by the likes of Saul Alinsky ,  Bill Ayers , and Frank Marshal Davis –  all notorious , radical communists themselves –  all of whom obviously taught him to be a radical communist with a lust to destroy America. There was  no way he could have done it without cheating.

 Even before the 2008 election , and soon after the 2012 election , there were allegations from republicans of voter fraud , which were quickly repeated by the conservative media. The Palin /McCain campaign produced a video falsely accusing Acorn – Association Of Community Organizations for reform Now – of massive voter fraud , thereby rigging the 2008 election in favor of Obama.

September 7 , 2012 , a female representative of conservative activist James O’Keefe  of the Veritas Project ,  filmed an undercover video at the headquarters of Obama’s  Organizing For America campaign in Houston , Texas. The video shows regional field director Stephanie Caballero allegedly saying that she intends to vote in both Texas and Florida.. At one point she laughs , and says , ‘Oh my God! It’s cool though ,’ and then tells the woman what to do in case she is caught doing the same thing.

October 8 , 2012 , James O’Keefe , well-known for producing highly edited , fraudulent videos of alleged criminal behavior of evil liberal progressive organizations –  filmed Patrick Moran , son of senator Jim Moran , allegedly discussing how to commit voter fraud , at the Cosi restaurant in Arlington , Texas. It is unclear if Moran knew he was being filmed ,  but he later said in an Associated Press interview that he suspected that O’Keefe was unstable and humored him only as a joke.

Is it inconceivable that a black man could become president based exclusively on the content of his character , rather than the color of his skin , or his name , without resorting to cheating? Apparently not. As the previous examples have indicated , after six years  conservatives  have been unable to get over the fact that a black man won a presidential election fairly and overwhelmingly. Twice.

Many conservatives are convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that Obama , with the help of  communist  liberal progressive organizations , the liberal media , or the democrats – take your pick –  rigged the elections in his favor. However , when pressed with evidence to support their claims , many of them will most likely allude to the above videos as examples of proof , or repeat the same nonsense they’ve heard in the conservative media. And with the 2016 elections just around the corner , they’re still repeating the same nonsense , that Obama will steal the election for the democrats.

Victoria Jackson  is convinced that Obama , like all liberals and democrats , are communists  and crooks , and not to be trusted. Like all Obama and liberal hating conservatives , she is convinced that he not only stole the elections , but is terrified that he will suspend the 2016 elections and declare himself King and Emperor of the United States.  So terrified in fact that she wrote a book warning all of her fans and readers of the impending doom that is the end of America as we all know it.

She’s appeared all over America , from Fox News to the Glen Beck Show , promoting her ridiculous books and videos. She’s written several nonsensical books about Obama , among them Bye Bye America Died , That Was The Day That I Cried And I Cried , which turned out to be a best seller with the conservative media , and especially with  Fox News viewers. Her most recent book , How Mickey Mouse , Donald Duck , Acorn , The Homeless ,  Illegal Immigrants  , And The Walking Dead Helped Obama The Weasel Weasel His Way Into The White House , will be published later this Fall.

She’s appeared several times on the Kelly File with Megan Kelly. Megan recently invited her back to talk about her latest book. Apparently her fans couldn’t get enough of her the last time she was on.

Megan : “Welcome back once again , Victoria.”

Victoria : “Thank you. I didn’t expect to be invited back so soon.”

Megan : “Yeah … well , don’t thank me. It wasn’t my decision. Anyway , let’s get right into the book. How in the world did you come up with the title , and what does it even mean?”

Victoria : “Didn’t you read it?”

Megan : “No , I haven’t.”

Victoria : “Why not? You got an advanced copy from my publisher.”

Megan : “I haven’t had time to read it yet. What does it mean?”

Victoria : “Just what it says.”

Megan : “I don’t understand. Could you please elaborate?”

Victoria : “I think the title is self-explanatory.”

Megan : “Well , could you please explain it to me , because I don’t get it. How did Obama weasel his way into the White House? He was elected.”

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Uncle Ted doing his Obama the weasel interpretation for Victoria Jackson.

Victoria : “No , he wasn’t Megan. According to great American patriot , Ted Nugent , Obama weaseled his way into the White House , which is where I came up with the title of the book. And he did it with the help of the homeless , the illegal immigrants , and the walking dead.”

Megan : “What?”

Victoria : “That’s just what I said when I heard him say it. So I asked him what he meant , and he said to do some research , and I did , and sure enough , it was just like he said it was. Obama weaseled his way into the White House because he’s a communist and a crook.”

Megan : “I’m still confused. But please continue.”

Victoria : “The 2008 elections were rigged with help of Acorn. That’s a fact. Both elections  were also rigged by thousands of people voting in several different states. We also know this to be a fact , because studies proved that almost fifty thousand people who lived in North Carolina , and other states , also voted in several other states. Names and dates of birth and social security numbers were compared with the dates of birth and social security numbers of people living in other states , and thousands of them matched. We also know that thousands of homeless people , and illegal immigrants were bused and shipped to different polls all over America by the liberals and progressives , even though none of them were registered to vote. That’s called cheating , Megan. And it’s despicable , something that liberals and progressives have no guilt or shame over. Can you imagine what they would say if conservatives behaved that way? They would be crying from the mountain tops that republicans are trying to destroy democracy and the constitution. They would be all over the liberal media throwing hissy fits , wanting to take our rights away from us. But conservatives don’t behave that way. We actually respect and love democracy and the constitution. Obama and the communist liberals are the only ones who are destroying America and the constitution , and stealing elections , and you don’t hear us conservatives crying and whining and throwing hissy fits about it.”

Megan : “That seems far-fetched , Victoria. You don’t really believe that do you , that liberals and progressives were actually busing and shipping the homeless and illegal immigrants all over America just so that they could vote for Obama?”

Victoria : “And get free goodies in return. Like Obama phones , Obama Care , autographed photos of Obama , and all kinds of other free stuff. Anyway , why not? We know that Obama wants everyone to vote for him , because he has a massive ego – everyone I know is always saying he’s a narcissist – and it’s a fact that communist liberals and progressives oppose voter I.D. laws. And what better way to get people to vote for you , but illegal immigrants and most homeless people , neither of which have I.D.s.?”

Megan : “But didn’t they have better things to do than bus thousands of people all over the place?”

Victoria : “Not if they wanted to get Obama elected. And that’s exactly what they did. It was their number one goal. Nothing was more important to them.”

Megan : “But how exactly did they accomplish it? It would have been impossible.”

Victoria : “Not if you’re highly organized , which is what liberals and progressives are , a lot more so than conservatives.”

Megan : “Alright , if you say so. What about Mickey Mouse , Donald Duck , and the walking dead? What the hell does that mean? Do you mean that Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck actually voted for Obama?”

Victoria : “Well , they could have for all we know. But if they didn’t , then we know for a fact that Acorn volunteers  must have impersonated them , because dozens of ballots were found with their names on them.”

Megan : “Wow … I honestly don’t know how to respond to that. And I suppose the entire cast of The Walking Dead also voted for him?”

Victoria : “No , not the TV show! Geez , Megan , don’t you read? Haven’t you heard about all the dead people Obama got to vote for him?”

Vicky
Megan’s Kelly’s reaction to Victoria explaining how Obama got Mickey Mouse , Donald Duck , and thousands of zombies to vote for him.

Megan : “What?! You can’t be serious.”

Victoria : “Of course I’m serious. Don’t ask me how he did it , but I heard from someone , I can’t remember who it was … maybe it was Glen Beck , or Michael Savage. They’re both so intelligent , much more intelligent than I am. Anyway , they told me that , apparently , somehow , Obama had hundreds or thousands of graves dug up all over America , brought them back to life somehow and hypnotized them into voting for him. He can do that you know , because he’s the Anti-Christ.  And his brother , Julio probably helped him.”

Megan : “Again … what?! How is that even possible?”

Victoria : “It’s possible.”

Megan : “Yeah , to a crazy person.”

Victoria : “Yeah , yeah , I know it sounds crazy , but you can’t put anything past Obama and the liberal progressives. They will do anything to win , even if it means getting Mickey Mouse , Donald Duck , illegal immigrants , the homeless , and the walking dead to vote for him. And that’s how Mickey Mouse , Donald Duck ,  illegal immigrants , the homeless , and the walking dead helped Obama the weasel weasel his way into the White House.”

Posted in satire/humor

Obama The Duck

 Long before Barack Obama was even elected president , xenophobes , and racists  perceived  him as the Bogey Man , due to the rhetoric and propaganda pushed by Republicans. They believed all kinds of nonsense about him that wasn’t true.  He was a foreigner , a socialist , a communist , gay , a gay Muslim  , an alien , even the Anti-Christ. They are all ridiculous and childish reasons to be afraid of someone. That is , unless you’re living in a fantasy world where reality has no basis in fact , which is where many of today’s Conservatives don’t seem to mind living.

Since the moment Obama set foot in the White House , Republicans in congress and their supporters , have deliberately set out to discredit him. They have done everything they can to smear his name and reputation. They have used fear of a black man with a Muslim name – Hussein – in the White House , because they would rather have a white man as president. If he walks like a duck , talks like a duck , he must be a duck. In other words , he has a Muslim name , so he must be a socialist communist , Nazi , racist , gay Muslim duck.

There have been many  examples of Republican fear mongering. Death panels in the Affordable Care Act , more affectionately known as Obama Care among Conservatives :

July 16 , 2009 , Former lieutenant governor of New York , Betsy McCaughey claimed that section 1233 of the Affordable Care Act would give bureaucrats the right to decide who would live and who would die among the elderly and the disabled. It was repeated by the likes of Sean Hannity , Laura Ingraham , Rush Limbaugh , and Glen Beck.

July 24th , in a New York Post article , she claimed presidential advisor , Ezekiel Emanuel , said the elderly and disabled are not entitled to health care.

August 7th , on her Facebook page , Sarah Palin used the term “death panel” , in a post on the Affordable Care Act ,  which was quickly picked up and spread around the internet , and by others in the conservative media.

At the 2013 Values Voters summit in Washington , Ben Carson claimed that the Affordable Care Act was the worst thing in America since slavery , that it had more to do with control than health care.

Race baiting …

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Obama the Marxist socialist communist , Nazi , white culture hating racist , America hating , gay Muslim duck. Quack.

July 28 , 2009 ,  on his Fox News show , Glen Beck referred to the president as a white culture hating racist. Apparently , to Glen , it didn’t matter that his mother , Ann Dunham , was also white. He hates white people , so by Glen’s logic , he hated his mother , and therefore must be a racist duck.

Michelle Bachman’s 2010 Western Conservative Summit speech , complaining that Obama had turned America into a nation of slaves.

July 9 , 2010 , Glen beck whining about the New Black Panthers as Obama’s army of thugs. And in November of 2014 , lamenting that Obama’s executive action on immigration would most likely lead to a race war.

In a Fox interview , Palin accused the president of pining to return to the days when America was divided by different economic classes and skin color.

February 26 , 2012 , Trayvon Martin was fatally shot by George Zimmerman. Supposedly Zimmerman shot him in self-defense , after Martin discovered that Zimmerman had been following him. An altercation ensued , with Martin ending up dead. The Conservative media was quick and eager to jump to Zimmerman’s defense , portraying Martin as a thug ,  that he had gotten what he deserved.  Zimmerman was eventually charged with manslaughter , but was acquitted after trial. Soon after the acquittal , Obama in his remarks about the case , said that ‘it could have been him’ at that age , and expressing concern that these types of events happen all too often. The conservative media , in predictable fashion , went bonkers , accusing the president of race baiting , for daring to compare himself with Martin , while conveniently ignoring that those who defend and condone the murder of a black teenager wearing a hoodie , and reportedly armed only with a bag of skittles while committing no crime , are the true race baiters.

The Birther nonsense :

During the 2008 democratic primaries , speculations of Obama’s place of birth surfaced. It was quickly spread by every Conservative media outlet. Later that year Obama released his official birth certificate. In April , 2011 , he released a copy of his original certificate of live birth. Racists , bigots , and conspiracy fanatics , were convinced they were fakes.

August 2009 , Orly Taitz revealed a fake Kenya birth certificate. She was hoping to convince racists , bigots , and conspiracy freaks that it was genuine.

General fear mongering , some of which has crossed the border of idiocy , and into the realm of lunacy :

  • Obama is a Muslim loving terrorist , who sides with Islam. He loves them so much that he’s actually executed quite a few to prove it. Some intellectuals like Sarah Palin , and Rush Limbaugh have even suggested that he has droned them with flowers , candy , and other goodies.
  • He’s works For the Muslim Brotherhood , and has aided them by giving them jobs in the White House ( see Dana Leosch’s video , Jobs For Jihadis ).
  • He’s arming ISIS – while simultaneously bombing them ( see first paragraph ). Go figure.
  • He hates America. According to Victoria Jackson , in her book Barack’s Magic Pen , she claims he is destroying the country  by “shredding” – with his magic pen – the constitution with his unlawful executive actions , despite the fact that every president has issued executive actions. If that makes him a dictator  , he’s certainly not the first American tyrant.
  • He hates Christians. He’s persecuting them by supporting same -sex marriage , which proves he himself is gay , and which also proves – according to Victoria Jackson – that he’s a Muslim , since Muslim’s obviously endorse homosexuality.
  • He is disarming America. Paranoid gun loving fanatics like Ted Nugent ,  Jan Morgan , and their millions of cohorts , have bemoaned the absurdity of Obama coming for their guns since the moment  he took office. Jan wrote a book about her displeasure with Obama The Gun Grabber , How Obummer And Liberals Are Destroying The Second Amendment God Given Rights of Patriotic Gun Loving Americans. So far he has yet to confiscate a single fire arm.
  • Jade Helm. He’s invading Texas as a prelude to martial law. As a prelude to gun confiscation. As a prelude to throwing patriotic , paranoid gun loving fanatics into friendly neighborhood Wal-Mart stores that have been converted into Fema prison camps. As a prelude to taking over America and turning it into a third world communist dictatorship. Well , Jade Helm has since passed. Patriotic gun loving fanatics have not been rounded up , nor have their guns been taken away.
  • He’s destroying the economy. Well , not exactly. Anyone who seriously believes this , is living in denial. All one has to do is some fact checking to see that the economy has improved. Job numbers are five times higher than they were under the entire Bush economy , and unemployment is at least 5.6 %. But , its common knowledge among the average Obama hating conservative that facts have a liberal bias , and Obummer and the liberals have actually wrecked the economy beyond all repair.
  • Benghazi was a cover up , a scandal. Obama deliberately left four Americans to die , because he’s a Muslim who loves his Muslim brothers more than he loves America. Numerous investigations have said otherwise. And yet republicans continue to waste taxes with endless investigations that have proved nothing.
  • He’s the Anti-Christ. This is one of the most ridiculous claims , right up there with ‘he’s a Muslim’. According to Victoria Jackson in her book , The Mole That Is Not Really A Mole In The White House , Barack and his evil conjoined twin , Julio , plan to over throw America just before he leaves office.
  • He wants to eat Americas kids. Another ridiculous claim by Victoria Jackson , supported by her book , To Serve Obama.

The Republicans  and their allies in the conservative media will continue to use fear and misinformation as a means to persuade their supporters to vote against their own interests as long as Obama is in the White House. To those who wish to deny fact and truth , and instead choose to live in fantasy land , Obama will always be a socialist Marxist communist , Nazi , white culture hating racist , America hating , gay Muslim duck. Quack.

Posted in satire/humor

Bye Bye America Died … That Was The Day That I Cried And I Cried

November 4 , 2008 Barack Obama was initially elected forty-fourth president of the United States.  Conservatives all over America lost their minds , and the Tea Party was officially born.  The prevailing consensus was that he was a foreigner , a communist socialist , gay , and a Muslim , therefore not fit to be president. They were paranoid that he would destroy America and take their guns away. He was a liberal democrat , after all , which according to the average  Fox viewing conservative ,  is  equivalent to communism. It certainly wasn’t the color of his skin.

In a 2007 concert , Ted Nugent called the president a POS , and advised him to suck on his machine gun. He referred to Hillary Clinton as a toxic c**t , and invited her to take a ride on the same weapon.

In a 2012 twitter rant , he complained to his followers that those who voted for Obama were nothing more than pimps , whores and welfare queens.  In a related tweet , he also referred to them as sub humans for wanting others to pay for their birth control , abortions , Obama Care , Obama phones , and all the other free stuff that liberals love to get at the expense of true patriotic , Obama hating conservatives. It’s ironic , considering that he obviously didn’t mind his taxes being used to pay for two wars , under George Bush , that the majority of Americans didn’t  want.

In 2012 he lamented that he would either be dead or in jail if Obama was reelected. But to the disappointment of liberals , progressives – and even some conservatives –  uncle Ted remains alive and free , thus proving that republicans have a problem with keeping promises , something they’ve always accused Obama of being guilty of.

Uncle Ted wasn’t the only conservative who lost his mind when Obama became president. Victoria Jackson not only lost her mind , but she cried  , fearing that America was doomed for voting for an obvious communist , and a Muslim. When Obama was reelected , she went into a fit of hysterics and has been bawling her eyes out ever since  , because this time America had  actually “died.” Apparently , Obama had done exactly what his communist mentors and buddies had taught him to do :  destroy America  the second time around – apparently he had failed miserably to destroy  it during his first term ( after all , he is the worst president in American history ) – by shredding the constitution with executive action , and all kinds of other stuff.

She’s the author of several ridiculous books  about Obama , including Barack’s Magic Pen. Her latest , Bye Bye America Died … That Was The Day That I Cried And I Cried. It’s also the name of her new video.

Once again , Americas favorite dingbat appeared on The Kelly File with Megan Kelly , shamelessly hawking her new book.

Megan : “Welcome back , Victoria.”

Kelly-vic
Victoria Jackson shamelessly hawking her new book , Bye Bye America Died … That Was The Day That I Cried And I Cried , on The Kelly File with Megan Kelly.

Victoria : “Thank you for having me.”

Megan : “You’re not going to cry , are you?”

Victoria : “I don’t know. It depends.”

Megan : “Depends on what?”

Victoria : “If I can control myself. You see , it’s been very hard not to cry since Obama’s been reelected.”

Megan : “Why is that?”

Victoria : “Because he’s a communist , and he’s destroying America. I’ve been crying almost non stop. As a matter of fact , when I was writing the book  I could barely see what I was doing , because my eyes were so watery from all the tears and I just kept crying and crying , and the water poured from my eyes like a rusty faucet that doesn’t want to shut off ,  and I almost drowned in my own tears because I -“

Megan : “OK , I think we get the picture , Victoria. You’re very sad. Let’s talk about the new book.”

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Megan Kelly’s reaction to Victoria’s song , Bye Bye America Died.

Victoria : “First I want to play a new song I wrote. It’s called Bye Bye , America Died. It’s sung to the tune of American Pie by Don McLean , and it goes like this.”

With her trusted ukulele she began strumming her new song.

“Bye bye America died and that was the day that I cried and I cried ,

’cause Obama’s in the White House and I’m feeling so sad ,

but instead of getting mad I just cry …

that’s the day America died …

Whaa! whaa! whaa! whaa! whaa! whaa!

Obama’s in the White House and I’m so so sad ,

but instead of getting mad I just cry and I cry ,

 ’cause that’s the day America died … that’s the day America died …

Whaa! whaa! whaa! whaa! whaa! whaa!

Obama’s in the White House and I’m feeling real sad ,

but instead of getting mad I just cry and I cry …

’cause that’s the day America died .. that’s the day America died ..

bye bye America died and that was the day that I cried and I cried ,

Obama’s in the White House and I’m feeling so blue ,

I’m so scared and you should be too ,

’cause that’s the day America died …”

Megan : “Oh lord almighty. That sure was something. What exactly , I won’t say.”

Victoria : ” That’s just the short version. You can get the regular version that’s included with the book. So , buy my new book , everybody! You won’t be disappointed.”

Megan : “Now can we talk about the book?”

Victoria : “Sure Megan. The book is about the death of America. Duh! Because of Obama. What else?”

Megan : “Exactly how is he destroying America?”

Victoria : “Are you blind?! Take a look around you , Megan. There’s a communist and a Muslim in the White House. If that doesn’t scare you , it should. And every one of the democrats in congress are communists , too. Just ask Allen West , he’ll tell you all about it.  It’s just so obvious how many ways this country is being destroyed. The economy for instance. We are much worse off now than we were under George Bush. The deficit has sky rocketed , the national debt is a thousand  times worse , and millions and millions and millions of people are losing their jobs every month. That’s pretty scary. And if that isn’t scary enough ,  he’s also persecuting Christians by mocking God , by supporting same-sex marriage , changing the definition of traditional marriage with the help of his communist buddies in the Supreme Court , and not allowing Him back into our public and private schools , where He belongs. But the scariest thing of all , is that he’s  invited ISIS to cross the border. They’ve got camps all over Texas and Mexico , and they’re spreading all over America , and why isn’t the liberal media saying anything about it? If you don’t believe me , go to Texas , or Mexico and see for yourself. And if that isn’t scary enough , he’s also a gay Muslim , and a Muslim jihadist who sides with his Muslim brothers – or sister/brothers , since they’re all most likely gay , too. Obama has encouraged them  to teach their Godless religion in our schools , and to teach our kids how to be gay Muslims , and nobody’s doing anything about that either. And that is so sad. No one seems to care that this country is going to hell , literally because of Obama and the liberal progressives who’s only concern is turning America into a third world communist hell hole , just like Ann Coulter says they will. But not before they take all of our guns away and throw all of us true patriots into Wal-Mart Fema stores , where we can save more and live better.”