Tag: Tomi Lahren

Posted in Stupid Conservative memes, Turning Point USA

Stupid Conservative Memes # 72 TPUSA Edition

Posted on by Weekly Journal

Ten things that trigger diaper wearing conservatives …

  1. Gun Control. The conservatives at TPUSA are so extreme in their ideology , they believe there are no liberal gun owners. To them , all liberals are the same : they just want to abolish the second amendment along with individual gun ownership. Straw manning liberals as a whole  is their biggest proponent.
  2. Barack Obama. Trump loving conservatives hate the fact that a black man was ever president of the United States. He did almost everything they loved under George Bush : he increased drone activity in seven different places around the world. He kept Gitmo open. He increased domestic spying tenfold. He deported a record number of illegal immigrants. But nothing was good enough for them : he was weak on foreign policy , he hated America , he was soft on Muslim terrorists , and he allowed illegal immigrants to cross the southern borders unchecked. Of course , he did none of that.
  3. Criticizing Donald Trump. Progressives didn’t give a damn who criticized Obama. When Obama did something wrong , he deserved criticism , and he did dome pretty fucked up shit ( see above ). But the Obama haters never criticized him over any of the unconstitutional things he actually did. Instead , they chose to attack him for made up , ridiculous reasons , like his birth certificate ,  health care ( Obama care ) , abortion , racial division , the deaths of police officers , and terrorist attacks.
    Now that Trump is president , he’s the God-King who can do no wrong. Progressives are not blaming and criticizing him over made up nonsense. They’re criticizing him over his shitty policies , his tax cuts for the mega wealthy , pulling out of the Paris climate agreement , attacking Obama care , destroying the Iran nuclear deal , his attacks on the press , and the first amendment. But to his worst supporters who don’t care what he does , he’s the greatest president ever , even though he’s done nothing to earn that title. According to them , he’s a great success : the economy is booming ( it is , but only for the wealthy ) the middle class are getting their big tax breaks , and ISIS has been defeated! When progressives point out that none of these things are true , Trump lovers like Tomi Lahren get triggered and go on the defensive.
  4. Free Speech For Progressives. One of the biggest straw men from the right is that liberals and progressives hate the constitution. But it’s really conservatives  who hate the constitution. Conservatives have no respect for it.  Free speech : when it comes to free speech , conservatives like Tomi Lahren claim to be free speech absolutists , and make a huge stink about conservatives speakers who are protested on college campuses , and yet they behave in the same way they complain that liberals do. Through groups like TPUSA , and Campus Reform , they intimidate college instructors who don’t tow the conservative point of view , and target them for harrassment. They also have their voices on hate radio , the media and in the senate ( like that whiny little bitch , Chuck Grassley ) bitching and moaning about progressives protesting , ‘encouraging mob rule’. They want ‘civility’ when they’re in control , and want liberals and progressives to just shut up , and take it. So , spare me the bullshit that liberals want to suppress free speech. 
  5. Not Standing For The Anthem. Another straw man is that liberals hate the flag , because they hate America and are unpatriotic. Liberals are unpatriotic because they hate free speech , hate the second amendment , and won’t stand up for the national anthem. But conservatives love the flag and free speech ( even as they screamed at Colin Kaepernick to get the f**k out of America and burned his jersey , and engage in the same juvenile behavior as some liberals do on college campuses ) , and they love the second amendment. You can’t be a patriotic American unless you absolutely worship the second Amendment and the NRA.
  6. Criticizing Capitalism. Conservatives mistakenly believe we have a capitalist system. We have crony capitalism that benefits the wealthy and corporations , not the middle class.
  7. Mainstream Media. Conservatives who rail against mainstream media will never admit that Fox News is just as mainstream as the media they whine about , and it’s even more biased. Fox News is the media arm of the Republican party. MSNBC is the media arm of the Democratic party. It’s laughable when conservatives claim that CNN is liberal media , when all they do is bend over backward to placate Republicans , and more often than not , represent both sides of an argument in a political debate.
  8. Mocking Thoughts And Prayers. Conservatives , like those at TPUSA , are apparently too stupid to know that liberals can also be Christians , and that liberal Christians also pray. The difference between conservative Christians and liberal Christians , is that liberal Christians tend to be more tolerant and open minded , and don’t believe thoughts and prayers are an appropriate response to gun violence , as opposed to actual laws.
  9. Progressive Patriotism. Conservatives are easily triggered by black civil rights and other progressive groups exercising their right to participate in the Democratic process of dissent. They also believe it is standing for the national anthem , and defending a Republican president from criticism , both of which in their minds , are unpatriotic. When it’s a Democratic president , no criticism is too harsh.
  10. Victim Hood. Conservatives often claim liberals whine about everything  , but conservatives have cornered the market on victim hood. From college campuses to mainstream media , conservatives are perpetual victims who just can’t catch a break.
Posted in Tomi Lahren, Uncategorized

Dumb Final Thoughts From Tomi Lahren : Tomi Race Baits The New York Times

Posted on by Weekly Journal

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 It’s time for more stupid shit from Tomi Lahren.

In a recent article on Fox News Insider , Tomi penned one of her dumbest pieces to date. It was a response to The New York Times article , ‘Can My Children Be Friends With White People?’

“Over the weekend , the ethically corrupt New York Times published an op-ed titled Can My Children Be Friends With White People?

“Better question , could this article be more racist?”

Actually , it’s an opinion piece. People are entitled to their own opinions. Even you are entitled to your dumb opinions. He was asking if his kids can be friends with white kids. The basic message he was trying  to get across to his readers , was that if you vote for someone who is a racist and/or a bigot and you excuse or dismiss their bigotry because you like what they have to say , or might like some of their policies , and if you don’t support the rights of the oppressed , but blame them for their oppression , then you are no better than the person you voted for. These are the people he wants his sons to be wary of. But I wouldn’t expect you to understand that. You totally ignore the nuance of the article. All you can see is that someone hates white people.

“Seriously?”

Yes , seriously.

“Are you freaking kidding me?”

No , I’m not kidding.

“For those of you who have yet to read this little doozy , I’ll save you the gag reflex and give you a quick recap.”

Please do , Tomi , and I’ll give my response.

“The writer , a black college professor , isn’t sure if his children are safe around white people , or if they are safe , to pursue friendships with their light-skinned peers.”

Do you understand why he might feel this way? Having experienced bigotry and racism? Afraid that his kids will experience it as well? Have you ever experienced bigotry and racism , Tomi? I don’t think so.

“You can’t make this stuff up.”

Actually , you can , and you often do make this stuff up. 

“Apparently , this writer and the New York Times editorial board don’t understand how racism works , or they just don’t care. Racism goes both ways.”

No , it doesn’t. Racism is the belief that one race is superior to another. White America built a nation on slavery and Jim Crow. There are numerous organizations that espouse white superiority. There are none that espouse black superiority. 

“It’s not an exclusive label the leftist mainstream media gets to allocate or slap on those of us with white skin.”

It is when commentators like yourself race bait against black people and other minorities on a daily basis. 

“If the title of the article were , ‘Can My Children Be Friends With Black People’, the leftists would lose their minds and rightly so.” 

Yes , they probably would , because it would be racist. Blacks don’t have a long history of slavery against whites ; blacks didn’t create segregation laws known as Jim Crow. 

“It’s a disgusting question and a disgusting piece of editorial garbage.”

I found it emotional , and thought-provoking , and nothing racist about it. The fact that you did , shows that you are not that bright.

“The left lives in an obscure world where Colin Kaepernick is citizen of the year , and it’s acceptable to ask if your kids can have white friends. Wow.”

Actually many of us live in the real world , where Colin Kaepernick is Citizen Of The Year , and rightly so. Kaepernick is a hero to most people , a man of integrity and principle , two things you will never be. He’s donated hundreds of thousands to different charities , including the military , and has donated his time to his and other communities. What have you done , Tomi? You get on television with your jin race baiting and your false patriotism while attacking those like Colin Kaepernick who don’t agree with your particular definition of patriotism.

“Not only does the writer call Donald Trump a bigot , he talks about him in the same breath as white supremacists and directly accuses all Trump supporters and white people of being inherently racist.” 

No , he did not. Did you even read the article? I read it , and nowhere did he accuse all white people of being racist. He said he had not given up on friendships with white people. He mentioned that he has white friends who have marched and protested with him for racial justice. The people who are not to be trusted are the Trump apologists , such as yourself  who excuse and/or ignore his bigotry , who are constantly telling black people to stop complaining. 

“That‘s not an opinion. That‘s race bait.”

Actually , it’s more than a personal opinion. It’s a fact. Many people who voted for him , did so because of the bigoted things he said about Muslims and minorities. Just as some of them voted for him because of he promised he would help keep and/or bring middle class jobs back into America. 

“Wait a second! Trump is racist? White people are racist?”

There is evidence to show that Trump himself is racist and bigoted. Just as many white people are racist. I know it’s hard for you to believe that white people can be racist. And I know that only black people can be racist , in your opinion.

“Dude , you wrote an article titled , Can My Children Be Friends With White People? and you have the audacity to call us racist? Who do you think you are?”

Tomi , you once called Black Lives Matter the new KKK! You have called Black Lives Matter a racist hate group against white people , and you have the audacity to pretend you are a victim of racism? Who the hell do you think you are?

“A bad parent is what you are.”

A race baiter is what you are , Tomi.

“We are not born to hate. Hate is taught by mothers and fathers like you , who tell their children who don’t look , think , or believe like they do are to feared and demonized.”

Yes , hate is taught. It’s being taught by people like you in the media who tell their viewers that those who don’t look , think , and believe like they do , are different , not American , are to be feared and demonized. 

Excuse me! That’s racism 101!”

Actually , it’s called hatred.

“And here’s the scary part. The writer of this article is a college professor tasked with educating the country’s youth. And you wonder why college campuses are becoming the indoctrination chambers of the unloving and intolerant left. Look at our educators! They aren’t even trying to hide their blatant bias anymore. No , instead , they are shoving it down our throats and the mainstream media is celebrating it!”

 Facts and reality don’t have a liberal bias. It’s just a fact that liberals tend to become educators more than conservatives. I don’t expect you to understand that. But here’s the actual scary part : you work at a so-called news organization , which is really nothing more than a propaganda outlet for the Republican party. And here’s something even scarier , something you don’t get : you complain about the mainstream media being biased , but refuse to see the bias in your own media , which is just as mainstream as the media you so often complain about.

“What purpose does this garbage article serve?”

What purpose does Fox News serve? It’s more propaganda than news.

“Once again the left is trying to push a race war. And it’s a race war that ninety-nine percent of conservatives don’t want to be in! Why would you teach your children to fear white people , police officers and conservatives? Why? That’s sick and wrong and racist.”

It’s amazing conservatives can say this with a straight face , and no one calls them out on their bullshit. Fox  and most  right wing news sources have been pushing a race war for eight years , with their constant fear mongering of black on white crime , that black victims killed by police officers ( Mike Brown , Trayvon Martin ) are the actual criminals , and the black on white knock out game that Fox News and most of right wing media promoted. Not to mention , portraying Black Lives Matter as a racist hate group that hates and wants to kill all white people.

Here’s a question for Tomi : why would you and the so-called news outlet you work for , tell your viewers to hate and fear black people and minoritities?

“Why would the New York Times publish something like this? We should be asking if our children should be reading the New York Times. That’s a more realistic concern.”

Why would Fox News lie about Black Lives Matter and paint them as a hate group against white people and police officers?

“The victimhood mentality has got to go but I fear it never will , not when the Democratic party has made it their governing principle. Listen , playing the victim and blaming the president or white people for all of your troubles or parenting problems is never gonna be a worth while exercize.”

I agree. But the one who is playing the victim here , is you. Ever since America elected a black president , racialists like yourself have played the victim , blaming him , BLM , Democrats and liberals for all of your problems.

“Does racism exist? Absolutely. But here’s a news flash : it’not going to get any better with articles like Can My Children Be Friends With White People? If you have a serious heartfelt interest in eliminating racism and bigotry , stop advancing it and chumming the editorial waters with your race bait.”

Yes , racism does exist , but it won’t get any better when Fox News attacks minorities who rely on food stamps and other assistant programs , as moochers , while ignoring corporate welfare. If you have an interest in eliminating racism ( and I don’t believe you do ) , then stop advancing the notion that white people are victims of reverse racism , stop attacking black entertainers and athletes with your race baiting.

“Generations of Americans fought  , died and sacrificed to bring this country together and it’s downright appalling that some are trying so hard to undo it. Enough!”

Generations of Americans sacrificed themselves that America would be a place where freedom and liberty for all is valued , not for only those who are white and have the most money , and it’s appalling that people like you are doing everything you can to promote that division.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Dana Loesch

Stupid Conservative Memes #68 Dana Loesch Edition

Posted on by Weekly Journal

 

Of course , people like Dana didn’t see any hope or change , because she was one of those conservative pundits masquerading as a journalist , with her head up her ass. If the ACA , which they loved referring to as Obama Care , wasn’t hope and change , what was it? Millions of people who didn’t have health insurance , due to preexisting conditions , now had insurance. To them , it was hope and it was change , compared to the system that previously existed. But Dana and her conservative cronies in the mainstream media , were too busy making up death panels and others conspiracies about the ACA , never bothering to tell their audience that the real death panels are and always have been , and always will be , the private insurance companies , and that the mandate goes all the way back to the conservative think tank , the Heritage Foundation. 

Aviary Photo_131465932231654136  They attacked it for years , claiming it to be socialized , government-run health care , and that it was unconstitutional , even as the Republicans tried unsuccessfully to repeal it countless times. Now we find out in an ironic twist that Republicans – most notably , conservatives like Tomi Lahren – who have been openly condemning it for years , are using it.

In another note of irony , it’s been more than six months since Trump became president , and they still haven’t been able to repeal the law , nor come up with a decent one of their own. Yes , look at where you are now. Stuck with Obama Care. At least for now.

Posted in Dana Loesch, NRA

A Response To Dana Loesch’s Clinched Fist Of Truth ( Hypocrisy ) Video

Posted on by Weekly Journal
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NRA lap dog , Dana Loesch.

🍁 In a video reminiscent of her 2015 “Godless Left” rant , rabid NRA lap dog Dana Loesch has released another comical NRA sponsored video , in which she again calls liberals terrorists. Although she doesn’t call for violence against the “violent Godless left” the intent is implied that they are dangerous and must be dealt with by arming themselves with more guns.  

This video , like the last one , was produced for one purpose , and that purpose is to portray liberals as a dangerous threat to freedom and liberty. The Godless Left video was in response to calls for gun control , after the San Bernardino Inland Empire shooting , in which the New York Daily News mocked Republican thoughts and prayers , with the headline

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God Isn’t Fixing This , sparking an outrage among Conservatives.  The NRA responded , with their favorite lap dog/shill , Dana Loesch accusing liberals of attempting to destroy their freedom to pray , and that liberals were marching hand in hand with Islamic terrorists , singing Kumbaya , simply for calling for an end to gun violence.

These videos are like self-parodies. Conservatives are completely unaware of the glaring hypocrisy  , but liberals can see right through her for the shameless hypocrite she is. Literally everything she accused liberals of doing , was straight out of the  Obama hater’s playbook.

  1.  “They use their media to assassinate real news.” What does this even mean? Real news? Like The Blaze , where truth lives? Which is ironic , since Dana is currently employed at a network with no more credibility than Fox News , and a host of other questionable sources of yellow journalism , such as World Nut Daily , Town Hall , and The Gateway Pundit , AKA The Dumbest Man On The Internet. I’m sure these are all sources of real , credible news to Dana and much of her audience. I’m sure Jim Hoft’s award-winning ( from Accuracy In Media , no less ) journalism must have inspired her tedious career when she was at CNN. Also ironic , Dana has been using her platform to call everything else that doesn’t tow the Conservative line , as fake news. 
  2. “They use their schools to teach children that our president is another Hitler.”
    She states this as if it’s fact , with no evidence to back it up. However ,     I do recall for the last eight years that Dana and her cronies in the media , attacked a certain president over everything from health care reform ( AKA as Obama Care ) , foreign policy , to gun control , often referencing him not only to Hitler , but every other dictator in modern times. And they used their media to tell their viewers that he hated America , was a communist , and was a friend to Islamic terrorists.
  3. “They use their stars and award shows to advance their narrative over and over again.” I wonder what that narrative could possibly be. Could it possibly be speaking out against police abuse of authority? I understand this is something that’s frowned upon by wing nut Conservatives who believe the police can do no wrong , and anyone who criticizes them must be cop haters , like they accused Obama of hating cops because he had the audacity to question police authority where killings were unjustified.
    It wasn’t too long ago they were using their own celebrities like The Motor City Loudmouth , Rush Limbaugh , and numerous pundits like Tomi Lahren , Janine Pirro , and everyone else at Fox News , to advance their own narratives , that Obama was an anti-white racist , and a cop hater , over situations ranging from criticizing a white cop for arresting a Harvard Law professor in his own home , the events in Ferguson , Baltimore , benign comments on the tragic deaths of several police officers , and a seventeen year old black teenager. Just because he didn’t side with the racist narrative that George Zimmerman was the victim and Martin the aggressor , made him a racist? Not God damn likely.
  4. “They use their ex-president to endorse their resistance.” Apparently , according to Dana , Obama must be directing thousands of Trump haters to loot and destroy property , via mind control , with chips implanted in their heads.
    “All to make them march , make them protest” – I doubt they need Obama to motivate them to march , to protest. Trump’s behavior is all the motivation they need – “Make them scream racism” – The irony here is thick enough to cut with a knife – “Sexism , xenophobia , homophobia , smash windows , burn cars , shut down interstates” – I’m sure Trump marchers have never done that , have they? – “airports , bullying and terrorizing the law-abiding” – again , Trump supporters have never done that , have they? There are armed militia wandering the streets in “open carry” states intimidating citizens ; there were armed  militia defending the Bundy ranch ; there were armed Oath Keepers and other militia who had taken over the Malheur wildlife sanctuary , but according to Dana , it’s the left who are doing the intimidating- “until the only option left is for the police to do their jobs and stop the madness.”
    When she mentioned racism , I doubt she was thinking that not too long ago it was her side that was screaming racism at Obama , when pundits and right-wing nut bloggers like John “Obama’s an anti-white racist” Hawkins of Right Wingnut News , and Jim “The Gateway Pundit” Hoft , were making fools of themselves trying to convince their  dense readers that Obama was a rabid anti-white racist , with no evidence to back up their claims.
    Just as I’m sure she was not thinking of the birther movement. She and many of her audience may not have outright endorsed it , but there is no evidence that they denounced it.
    When she mentioned sexism , I doubt she thinking of the many instances when her totally not sexist buddies , Rush Limbaugh , and Ted Nugent demeaned Democratic women like Sandra Fluke , Hillary Clinton , and Nancy Pelosi.
    When she mentioned homophobia , I doubt she was thinking about the wing nut melt down over the Supreme Court decision on same-sex marriage. Nor was she thinking of the time she was moved to tears over the pizza store bigots who refused to bake a pizza for a gay couple , and subsequently started a Go Fund Me account for the true victims – the pizza store owners , that is. If these people had been refusing to bake a pizza for Christians , imagine the stink Dana and her cronies at The Blaze would have raised. It would have given them a legitimate reason to bitch and moan. But , no , it’s the gays who are the real bigots for calling them on their bigotry.    During the Obama years , the Obama hating “patriots” moaned incessantly about free speech , and oppression under Obama , even as they burned his effigy , called him a communist , a socialist  , a Muslim terrorist , anti-Christian , a racist , a cop hater , compared him countless times to Hitler , claimed he hated America , wasn’t an American ,  and if anyone dared criticize them , or push back , they were often accused of playing the race card.

     All these videos have demonstrated , is that Conservatives like Loesch are disingenuous. They don’t really care about honesty. All they care about is furthering their own agenda , and that agenda is to sell more guns despite the countless children that will be massacred , and transform America into an armed police state , where any form of dissent by their political enemies – liberals – is seen as treasonous. They ultimately succeed in making themselves look foolish by accusing liberals of the very same tactics they engage in.

    Update : I often wonder if images like these haunt shameless hypocrites like Dana Loesch , who believe basic gun control is a violation of their second amendment right. Hypocrites who accuse others of having blood on their hands , while defending and making excuses for those who truly do have blood on their hands :
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Herself , and the NRA.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

     

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in satire/humor, Tomi Lahren

Tomi And The Snowflakes

Posted on by Weekly Journal

 Since her departure from One America News , and joining The Blaze Network , Tomi Lahren has become a social media phenomenon. She is best known for her outrageous opinions that very seldom have any grounding in reality or fact. Some of these opinions are so outrageous , such as comparing the civil rights group Black Lives Matter to the modern-day KKK , they have managed to piss people off , and have earned her monikers like White Privilege Barbie , Nazi Barbie , and Aryan Snowflake. Some People have even took to twitter to troll her by purposefully mispronouncing her name.

Some of her other outrageously ridiculous statements include , former president Obama had a friendly to jihadis mentality , meaning he was weak on terrorism ( apparently completely oblivious to the fact that Obama’s foreign policy included droning seven different places around the world in the war on terror ) because he would not utter the phrase , ‘radical Islamic terrorism’ that Ms. Lahren and her fans were so desperate to hear , because saying so would apparently eliminate the jihadi threat to America.

During a recent visit to ABC’s The View , Tomi admitted that as a Conservative she is pro-choice , and called other Conservatives who called themselves pro-life , hypocrites. That was a mistake in the Conservative circle , which got the feisty commentator into hot water with her employer , Glenn Beck. He promptly suspended her , then fired her. Now , the two are suing each other , or have sued each other … whatever.

But supposedly there have been other reasons behind Tomi’s departure from The Blaze Network. According to an article in the Daily Caller , Tomi’s declaration of pro-choice and calling Conservatives hypocrites , was the “final straw in her relationship with The Blaze Network.”  Without naming any sources , the article claims she was rude to her co-workers , argued with several people over controversial views she had expressed , treated assistants like they were slaves , wanting them to always warm her butt pad for her , and cared more about creating controversy than being honest. Also , according to the article , she wasn’t especially fond of Dana Loesch , and went out of her way to avoid her.

Tomi appeared on a recent episode of the Alex Jones Show to set the record straight on the reasons behind her departure from the Blaze Network.

Alex : “Welcome to the show , ladies and gentlemen. I’m Alex Jones , your host for the number one show in Texas , America , and around the world. My guest on today’s show is Tammy Loren – “

Tomi : “Tomi. Tomi Lahren.”

Alex : “Whatever. Ms. Lowen has written several books. White people : The New Victims Of racism In The Age Of Obama , and Obama Wants To Eat Your Guns. Her latest is Tomi And The Snowflakes , which is scheduled for release sometime this Summer by Trump’s Not A Racist And He Loves America Unlike That Other President , Publishing , reveals the events behind her departure from The Blaze , which includes plenty of drama , cat fights , and verbal name calling. Just the kind of drama her fans have come to expect.

“Alright , I’ve read the book , Timmy – “

Tomi : “Tomi.”

Alex : “When my producer gave me a copy of the book , at first I thought it was about a new female rock group or something. Anyway ,  for those who are listening to the show and haven’t yet read it , why don’t you give a short summary of what it’s about.”

Tomi : “The book is about a group of special snowflakes at The Blaze who had a melt down when I called them hypocrites , among other things.”

Alex : “Lonnie – “

Tomi : “Tomi.”

Alex : “Whatever. In the book you discuss several particularly interesting incidents  in detail , such as an encounter with Dana Letch – I probably mispronounced it , I’m not very good with names – who you several times refer to as a bitch , a skank , and a ‘ho’ , and also an embarrassing encounter with Stu Burger , or Booger – ”

Tomi : “Burguiere.”

Alex : “What is that , a french name or something?”

Tomi : “I really don’t know.”

Alex : “It sounds like the french version of the word booger.”

Tomi : “It could be. I have no idea.”

Glenn and Stu ( Sue ). Still a happy couple.

Alex : “Doesn’t really matter. Still sounds like booger to me. Anyway , this guy Stu , or Sue , or whatever his , or her name is , had sex reassignment surgery a few years back , and has been pretending to be a girl , or a guy , or a transvestite , or whatever , ever since. Right? But what’s even more embarrassing is that – and most of Glenn Beck’s viewers don’t even know this , because they’re all so stupid , which is even more embarrassing , and what’s even more embarrassing is that he’s even more stupid than they are – Glenn , and this Stu , or Sue fella , or whatever , have been married for some time now. Yes , that’s right ladies and gentlemen , Glenn Beck actually divorced his second wife to marry a transvestite! I’m not making this stuff up. I wish I was , but I’m not. Who would have thought that Glenn Beck actually has a thing for gay transvestites? Some really bizarre stuff is going on over there at The Blaze. Isn’t that right , Connie?”

Tomi : “Tomi. It’s Tomi , Alex.”

Alex : “Isn’t that what I said?”

Tomi : “No , you’ve gotten my name wrong four times now.”

Alex : “I’m sorry , Suzi. I’m not trying to be rude or anything. It’s just that I’m not very good with names. They all sound the same to me.”

Tomi : “You can’t tell the difference between Tomi and Timmy?”

Alex : “Tomi , Timmy , what’s in a name? They all sound the same.”

Tomi : “Not to me.”

Alex : “Whatever you say , Ronny. Anyway , like I said , some weird stuff is happening at The Blaze , am I right?”

Tomi : ( Rolls eyes ) “Right.”

Alex : “According to the book , Dana Leech was always crapping up a wind storm  when she was around you , because you knew she hated you , and she knew you hated her too?”

Dana Loesch , angry harpy.

Tomi : “That’s right. I couldn’t stand her for several reasons. For one ,  she was always bragging about her so-called native American heritage , which is like 00.00 percent or something – native heritage , my ass – which I always thought was BS , and I told her so once , which set her off. I called her chief Shitting Bull , and she went ballistic. Her eyes bugged out and she said if I ever called her that again , she would sit on me and use my face for a toilet. Another reason I couldn’t stand her was because she always acted like a big shot. She would wear dark glasses and a fur coat every day before she filmed her show , because she was jealous that my show got higher ratings than hers , and she couldn’t stand it , and by wearing a fur coat and glasses , I knew she was trying to mock me. But what infuriated her the most was the fact that I had a butt pad and she didn’t. She was always jealous of the fact that I had a butt pad because my show was more popular than hers. The reason she didn’t have a butt pad is because no one liked her as much as they liked me , which is the reason I got a butt pad and she didn’t. And my butt is perkier and cuter than hers , and needs a butt pad to warm it up. Dana has the butt of a sixty year old woman , and no butt pad would keep that saggy ass of hers from sagging. I mean , look at it. Mine. Not her’s.”

She stood up and jiggled it like a teenager participating in a bikini contest. “Isn’t that the cutest , perkiest butt you ever did see?”

Alex getting excited watching Tomi shake her cute , perky butt.

Alex : ( Blushing ) “Uh … yeah , Ms. Lahren. Very nice Terry , I mean Timmy , I mean Tomi ! Please sit down. My producer’s getting excited.”

Tomi : “That BS about me being jealous of her , was nothing but BS. I was the one that got more attention because my butt is perkier and cuter than hers , and she couldn’t stand it. Dana always had to be the center of attention , because she’s a whiny-attention-seeking crybaby snowflake.”

Alex : “Also according to the book , you told her she looked like a horse , and that you spread a rumor that she was really a guy in drag , like that Stu , or Sue fella?”

Tomi : “That’s right , Alex. When I told her she had a face like a horse , her eyes bugged out , and she screamed , ‘What did you call me , you skank?’ I said , ‘You look like Mr. Ed’s wife!’ She screamed like a harpy again , grabbed a handful of my hair , threw me on the ground , and farted several times in my face. I mean , God , it was disgusting. I wanted to vomit. It stank like a skunk had invaded the studio. She really knew how to stink up the place. I felt like I was going to die from the stench , but at last Glenn came and pulled her off me. This was during a break in a taping of my show Final Thoughts , back in December. But the time I said she looked like a transvestite , that was even worse. Not only did she fart in my face again , she literally crapped her pants. And this time I did almost die from the stench. In fact , I actually barfed. But this time nobody had to pull her off me , because she was so embarrassed , she ran off holding onto the seat of her pants. She never bothered me again after that , I think because she was afraid I would tell someone , anyone. When the book is published , she’ll probably try to sue me , but I don’t care. I hope she gets laughed out of court. But she did tell  Stu that I said he looked like a gay frog , which I never did , and he also farted in my face. But I did say that she – Dana – looked like Sue when he – I mean she – was pretending to be Stu. And he farted in my face again. She also told Glenn that I once came on to Stu , and they both farted in my face. 

“And that was how I really got fired from The Blaze. It had absolutely nothing  to do with my coming out as pro-choice , or calling Conservatives hypocrites. It had everything to do with the fact my butt is cuter and perkier , and more popular than all of their sagging , old fart assess put together.”