Posted in Liberal Logic 101, Stupid Conservative memes

Stupid Conservative Memes #57 Liberal Logic 101 Edition

If conservatives really believed this , they would not be so quick to judge all Muslims as terrorists. When it comes to terrorism , they have a double standard. When a Muslim shooter commits jihad , all Muslims are accountable for the actions of the one , and must denounce it to appease conservatives. When a white person kills a black individual  , even if the motivation is obviously racial , as was the case with Dylann Roof , Conservatives immediately go into their song and dance routine to avoid the elephant in the room : Racism? What does racism have to do with it? Christians are real victims here! Because Christians are the most persecuted majority in America , and their religious freedom is viciously under assault by Obama , liberals , and gay people , who want them to bake wedding cakes for them.

 When it’s not the Christian victim mentality , it’s the white victim mentality. White people are not accountable for the actions of the one , and are not required to denounce it to appease all black people. Therefore it would be racist to assume all white people are responsible for Dylann Roof. But it’s fair to assume all Muslims are radical extremists , and are responsible for the actions of one Muslim shooter.

Do conservatives see the hypocrisy? 

Posted in alternate facts

Stupid Conservative Memes #48 How To Speak Stupid , Part 1

Aviary Photo_131357492279651398
… when Conservatives don’t get their way.

Liberal hating Conservatives live in an alternate reality with alternate facts , and they have their own alternate language with an alternate definition. And those alternate facts are that all liberals are evil , America hating authoritarians who want to destroy free speech. To an extent , this is true. There is a fringe minority of liberals who want to shut out Conservative speech and ideas , just as there is a fringe minority of Conservatives who are just as authoritarian and want to shut down debate. This is evident whenever liberals bring up racial profiling , or police abuse against unarmed people of color , they get accused of playing the race card , of race baiting. They’ve constructed this bullshit argument that you can’t disagree with a liberal , or Obama without being called a racist. It’s an accusation that’s designed to shut down their opponents , while pretending they are the real victims of racism at the hands of liberals.

Liberals , for the most part , will admit when they are wrong. That’s the difference between liberals and Conservatives. Conservatives like Rush Limbaugh , John Hawkins , and Mark Levin , are convinced beyond any doubt that their ‘team’ is always right , can do no wrong , and that they are the only ones who are capable of loving their country. Which is bullshit.           

Here are twenty terms that Conservatives have constructed their own reality around.

 1) OBAMA CARE : Socialism. Government take over of health care. Socialized medicine. Worse than slavery , the holocaust , 9/11. Contains death panels. Reparations for slavery. The largest tax increase in American history. Total enslavement. 

2) TAXES :   Evil. Government greed. Taxing the lower class … capitalism. Taxing the wealthy … socialism.

3) LIBERAL/PROGRESSIVE : Communist/Marxist/socialist. Nazi. Un-American. Anti-American.  

4TERRORIST. Muslim. “Not all Muslims are terrorists , but all terrorists are Muslims.”  All Muslims are guilty by default. 

5) WHITE TERRORIST/SHOOTER : Mentally ill lone wolf. Don’t blame the white guy. Conservative wind bag Mark Levin swore up and down on his radio show , that the confederate flag had no connection to Dylann Roof’s shooting spree. That the liberal media was just making it all up.

6) CORRUPT COPS WHO SHOOT OR MURDER UN-AMRMED CIVILIANS : Victims smeared by a liberal media. Heroes.

7) UNARMED BLACK INDIVIDUALS KILLED BY BAD COPS :  Thugs.

8) BARACK OBAMA : Communist/Marxist/socialist ( because the N word is no longer appropriate ). Hates America. 

9) THE SOCIAL SAFETY NETS , i.e. , WELFARE , FOOD STAMPS , etc. : Socialism.

10) ACKNOWLEDGING RACIAL BIAS :  Race-baiting. 

  

 

Posted in Conservative hypocrisy, Stupid Conservative memes

Stupid Conservative Memes #23

aviary-photo_131282969216668186

 Truth and honesty has never been a strong point with Conservatives. I’ve never heard a liberal say that  all white people should be held accountable for the actions of someone like Dylann Roof. What liberals are saying is that White America needs to take responsibility for its violent , racial past. Conservatives don’t understand this. When liberals point this out , Conservatives pretend the white race is under attack.

Conservatives have a double standard when it comes to terrorism : when a mass shooting occurs by Muslim jihad , its terrorism. Mainstream Conservative media are quick to blame all Muslims. When its white anti-government  jihad like Dylann Roof who massacres nine people in a black church , it’s not terrorism. He’s a troubled , lone wolf. They even go out of their way to claim there was no racial motive.

I say that’s bullshit. 

Posted in John Hawkins, satire

Obama Wants To Eat Your Kids

Aviary Photo_131066935447578748  Michelle Obama released her cook book ‘American Grown‘ in the summer of 2012. Since it’s release , she has campaigned tirelessly to get Americans , and especially children to exercise with her Let’s Move America campaign , and to eat healthier with her school lunch program. But true patriotic Americans are not buying it. And neither are students and their parents. They are fed up with the First Lady , and are letting her know it.

While most people probably couldn’t care less , some Americans – notably , Conservatives – see this attempt by the First Lady as something much more sinister. As most well-informed Conservative Republicans know , the Obama’s are pure evil and are bent on destroying America and everything it stands for. So it is no surprise that the First Lady would implement such a program. To them , it is just another attempt by the Obama’s to further limit our freedoms  , and ultimately destroy America.

I talked recently with Sarah Palin , who voiced her concerns about this program.

“Michelle Obama thinks she has everyone fooled with her Healthy , Hunger Free Kids Act ,” she said. “But if you watch Fox News , Glen Beck ,  and other conservative media that are not afraid to report the truth , then you know for a fact that she’s not fooling everybody. The only ones who are being fooled are the communist liberals who believe the lies of the communist liberal media. We know the truth about this deceitful program , and we have the facts. Most Americans believe it is nothing more than a harmless program to provide healthier school lunches. But the truth is that this program is designed to allow communist liberal  , Marxist , Nazi , gay Muslims to further infiltrate and control our public and private schools by telling our children what they can and cannot eat.

“First they’re removing God from public and private schools , and replacing Christianity with their Godless Muslim religion , and now this. This is exactly how communist liberal , Nazis , Marxist , gay Muslims behave. And the Obama’s have been behaving this way ever since Barack’s first election. And Americans are getting fed up with it. But thank God these communist liberal , Marxist , Nazi , gay Muslim tyrant dictators won’t be in power much longer. I just hope they don’t take our guns away and throw us all in Fema camps before that happens.”

Victoria Jackson , conservative blogger , and writer , has expressed her own concerns about this seemingly innocent program. And while her concerns may seem reasonable to some , they are certainly bizarre.

“There is nothing innocent about it ,” she said. “I believe it’s more than just an attempt to get our kids to eat  healthier. When I first heard about this program , I suspected there was something more to it. I began to question the purpose behind the program. Could it really be a harmless attempt to get Kids interested in exercising and eating right? Or is it something to be suspicious about? They are communists , after all , and communists are evil and everything they do is evil. And that’s when it hit me. It wasn’t something harmless. It was something so unbelievable , and so sinister that most of us would never believe it. I believe it is a subtle attempt to gain total control of our schools and our kids for a much more sinister purpose. And I believe that purpose is to get as many students as possible ,  so sick and tired of all the healthy crap they will be force-fed with this program , that they will gorge themselves on as much junk food as they can. And when enough of them are plump and fat enough , they will be in invited to a special surprise dinner at the White House , and then they will find out what Michelle Obama’s school lunch program is really all about. But by then , it will be too late for them. There will be no hope.

“Remember that Twilight Zone episode , To Serve Man , where the aliens who all looked like Lurch from the Addams Family, came to earth to eat everybody? Well , I wrote a book called ,  To Serve Obama : How Barack Obama The Kenyan , Voodoo , Muslim CannibalPlans To Eat Our Kids , With Michelle Obama’s School Lunch Program. It’s a wake up call to warn Americans of Michelle’s book , American Grown , which is really nothing more than a  cook book.

” Please read it , and take action. We must impeach the communist liberal , Nazi , Marxist , gay , cannibal Muslim before he eats all of our kids!”

Posted in John Hawkins, satire

One Hundred Ways To Spot A Communist Liberal … Part 9

Aviary Photo_1310720430063096361) They don’t believe Progressive is an insurance company owned and run by communists.

2) They don’t believe the Nazi LGBT are persecuting Christians.

3) They don’t believe in Santa Claus.

4) They don’t believe Jesus is white.

5) They don’t believe Obama is sending flowers and candy , and greeting cards to his Muslim terrorist buddies.

6) They don’t believe the Clinton’s are guilty of murdering their opponents.

7) They don’t believe Hillary is really a gay , communist Muslim , who helped Barack Obama get his Muslim terrorist buddies jobs in the White House.

8) They don’t believe Bill Clinton is also a gay , communist Muslim.

9) They don’t believe the universe is  a hologram controlled by Barack Obama.

10) They don’t believe the moon is really a hollow alien spaceship.

If you know anyone who adheres to any of the above , they are indeed communist liberals in need of mental therapy.

Posted in John Hawkins, satire

Proof That Conservatives Are More Intelligent Than Liberals

 Liberals love to brag about how smart they are compared to conservatives. But there have been numerous studies to prove them wrong. Conservatives are more informed , and better educated than liberals. Below are the most common misconceptions that liberals are more intelligent.

 Liberals believe they are experts at everything. Religion , politics , science , education , and life in general.

 Religion …

  Liberals claim that religion is man-made , therefore a myth , a fairy tale.

Fact : This is only partially true. Most of the world religions are indeed man-made. Christianity is the only one true religion , since it was divinely inspired by God. The other existing religions are frauds , fakes , copy cats , inspired by the devil.

 Because liberals tend to be Godless , they mistakenly believe that they have morals. However , numerous studies have disproved this. In one such study , an atheist liberal , and a God-fearing Christian were given pornography to look at. The Godless atheist liberal could not restrain himself , and was tempted to masturbate  again and again , while the God-fearing Christian was able to restrain himself with a simple prayer.

Fact : Conservatives , who are Christians , have morals , which are given to them by  God. In other words , conservatives are moral as a result of their religious beliefs. Liberals tend to be Godless , lacking any religious beliefs , instead embracing a belief in atheism , or any number of Godless religions , such as Islam , deism , or Hinduism. By nature , they are Godless , and are completely lacking in morals , as I alluded to in the above study.

 Conservatives , as a result of their Christian beliefs , lead happier , more fulfilling lives , are more open-minded , are more accepting of new ideas and points of view , and are better problem solvers. Godless communist liberals , because they are completely lacking in morals , are unhappy , mean , close minded , bigoted , racist , people , un accepting of other points of view , and are not very good at solving problems.

Conservatives believe that all life is sacred. Godless communist liberals have no qualms about murdering innocent unborn children , but often try to justify this behavior by accusing Christians of being hypocrites when it comes to children who are gunned down in public schools by the mentally ill. They accuse Christians of opposing stricter gun laws , so by their reasoning  , they must not really care. But the truth is , the only laws Christians and conservatives oppose , are the dictatorial laws mandated by the evil tyrant Obama , who wants to take their guns away , throw everyone – but Godless communist liberals – into Fema camps , turning America into a Godless communist dictatorship , and will do so by any means necessary.

Science …

 Godless communist liberals believe in science. But any God-fearing Christian conservative knows that all aspects of science are just non sense. Liberals  believe in evolution. , the theory that life forms evolve into other life forms. They believe that life began by random chance , that two cells had intercourse , and poof! a new life form came into being. However , there has never been any credible evidence to support this theory. According to the book of Genesis , God created all life as it is , less than seven thousand years ago. Liberals also believe in the theory of global warming , that the earth is slowly getting hotter due to the effects of man-made green house gases in the atmosphere.

Fact : There is no credible evidence for any of these theories. Just ask any scientist , and they will tell you that. They are nothing more than a Godless communist plot to brainwash Americans into accepting a Godless communist dictatorship.

Education

Godless communist liberals believe in free education for all. They believe that public schools should teach only the basics , history , science , math. They believe that religion should have no role in public schools , and even though they have succeeded in removing God from public and private schools , they claim that children still have the right to pray.

Fact : Because God has been removed from public schools , no child has ever been allowed to pray , or even mention His name for fear of persecution. Ever since the evil tyrant Obama took office for the first time , Christians have been persecuted like never before. Teachers have been doused in tar and feathers , and in more extreme cases have been fired for merely mentioning the name of God in classrooms all over America. Students who dare stand up for their faith , are ridiculed , laughed at , called delusional , covered in silly string , also tarred and feathered  , and sometimes even expelled.

Liberals whine about Christians mentioning God or prayer in public schools. They are always crying about separation of church and state , which they claim is in the constitution , but say nothing when Muslims are allowed to teach their Godless religion.  Muslims have been infiltrating our public and private schools since Obama set foot in the White House , and he has always encouraged them – he is a Muslim , after all – to hold prayer vigils , readings from the Koran , and all manner of Godless Muslim activities.

 Communists have also infiltrated our public and private schools. They’ve been doing it since the nineteen fifties. Science is just one way they been doing it. Teaching foreign languages is another. Liberalism is the greatest communist threat to the public and private school system. It’s the foundation of communism. The communist liberal professors out number the conservatives by more than half , proving the existence of a communist liberal conspiracy to brainwash not only the youth of America , but everyone else as well , and to spread the communist menace.

 Politics

 When it comes to politics , liberals take the cake. This is the area in which they deem themselves not just experts , but the ultimate in authority. According to a liberal , they are always right. Anyone who disagrees with them is either a Nazi or a racist bigot. They support free speech , but only when it comes to expressing their own views and opinions. Arguing with them is useless. They always ignore facts , and when conservatives rely on facts to back their own views and opinions , liberals often resort to name calling like the immature progressives they really are. They can’t stand it when a well-informed conservative criticizes Obama , Hillary Clinton , or the communist liberal media. They are so blinded in their devotion to their ideology , they are incapable of seeing the truth when it’s right under their noses.

When a conservative tells the truth about Obama or Clinton , it’s a lost cause. Liberals don’t want to hear the truth about either one of them. They would rather believe the lies of the communist liberal media. It doesn’t matter that Hillary Clinton is lying about her emails – or the fact that she has ordered the murders of dozens of people who have dared to tell the truth about her – or that Obama is a tyrant that is destroying America with his executive orders , his financial and moral support – which includes flowers , love letters , and all sorts of goodies – of Al Qaeda , the Muslim Brotherhood , or the fact that he is taking the guns away from patriotic gun loving Americans , and will ultimately throw them all in Fema camps. This means nothing to liberals. They would rather pretend that everything is alright in their political bubble , while the economy , free speech , and personal freedoms are destroyed by Barack Obama and his evil , communist , Nazi , Muslim , liberal progressive administration.

Posted in satire

One Hundred Ways To Spot A Communist Liberal – Part 2

Aviary Photo_131033159015769106 

Ten more ways to spot a communist liberal.

1) They believe in public education and government assistance.

2) They believe in science.

3) They believe in global warming.

4) They don’t believe that Christianity is the one true religion.

5. They believe in atheism.

6) They don’t hate Muslims.

7) They don’t believe in creationism.

8) They believe in evolution.

9) They don’t believe in faith.

10) They don’t believe in God.

If your friends exhibit any of the above , it is a sure sign that they are Godless communist liberals , and should seek mental help.