Posted in John Hawkins, satire/humor

How Barack Obama Ruined America And Was The Worst President Ever – Part 2

Conservative sleuth John Hawkins.

Liberals will never admit that Barack Obama was the worst president America ever had , or that he ruined it. To them he was the second coming of Christ who could do no wrong. What they never realized was that he was a wolf in sheep’s clothing , but conservatives were onto him from the start.

The following are five more ways Obama ruined America and demeaned the office of the presidency.

1) Birther Gate : He wouldn’t admit his birth certificate was fake. 

2) Phone/Pen Gate : He said I have a phone and a pen , and I’ll use them. And did he ever. No other president made more phone calls and signed more executive orders.

3) Golf Gate : No other president played more golf than Obama did. It was one of the worst things he could have done as president. It demonstrated his uncanny ability to hang out playing golf with celebrities like Tiger Woods , Jack Nicklaus , and Stephen King , while simultaneously destroying America , and murdering his critics who complained about his golfing. A remarkable feat that the liberal media never covered. 

4) Vacation Gate : No other president took more vacations than Obama did. Most of these vacations were taken at places like Martha’s Vineyards , where the Obama’s often threw extravagant sex orgies with other liberal elites (  they’re all perverts ) at tax payer expense. He also murdered anyone who complained about his vacations. 

5) Gun Gate : He took everyone’s guns away , and had anyone murdered who complained about him taking everyone’s guns away.

And there you have it again. Five more ways Obama ruined America and was the worst president ever. 

 

Posted in John Hawkins, satire/humor

What Liberals Believe ( Liberals Are Still Loons )

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Conservative sleuth , John Hawkins , sniffing out them evil , treasonous , America hating liberals.

 

Since the election of Donald Trump , liberals have gotten even crazier than they’ve ever been , and it’s all Barack Obama’s fault , because he was  jealous that Hillary Clinton lost , even though he rigged it with the help of ACORN , Mickey Mouse , Donald Duck , the homeless , illegal aliens , and the walking dead , yes , the real walking dead , just as he rigged the last two elections with the same characters.

1) Liberals believe Trump will play more golf than Obama did. The truth is , all Obama did was play golf while the world went to hell.

2) Liberals believe Trump will sign more executive orders. The truth is , all Obama did was sign executive orders while the world went to hell. When he wasn’t signing executive orders , he was playing golf , and when he wasn’t playing golf , he was signing executive orders.

3) Liberals believe Trump is a racist because he wanted to build a wall to keep out those murderous , drug dealing illegal immigrants. But it’s really liberals who are racist because they want them to come here and collect welfare , food stamps , and do jobs “no American would want to do.”

4) Liberals believe Trump hates Muslims because his immigration ban will prevent them from coming here and murdering us in our sleep. 

5) Liberals believe ACORN doesn’t exist anymore. But the truth is , ACORN is still trying to rig the voting system for Democrats. They tried it in 2016 , and will most likely try it again in 2020.

6) Liberals don’t believe Obama spied on Trump. The truth is , Obama trained his dogs , Sonny and Bo to infiltrate Trump Towers to tap the phones. Those dogs are clever. They are also communists like Obama.

7) Liberals don’t believe Obama is on a permanent vacation. The truth is , ever since Obama entered the White House in 2009 , he has been on a permanent vacation. According to an unknown source , he was even planning to write a book called My Endless vacation In The White House.

8) Liberals are so delusional , they believe evolution and global warming are real. Even though there is no evidence for either , but refuse to believe in God even though there is a mountain of evidence. 

9) Liberals believe Obama is no longer playing golf. Even though he had banned all golf courses by executive order , for his personal use.

10) Liberals believe Conservatives hated Obama because he is black. Which proves they are the racists. Conservatives don’t like Obama because he was really born in Kenya. 

And there you have it , ten reasons why liberals are still loons.

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Obama hating Conservatives were convinced that throughout his entire two terms in the White House , all he did was vacation and play golf at the expense of the American tax payer. He wasn’t really concerned about terrorism because he was Barack Hussein Obama. That name alone proved he was sympathetic to Muslim terrorists and was a Muslim himself , born and raised in Kenya , and schooled in a radical madrasa , all according to the “mainstream Conservative media.”

The constant message that he was soft on terrorism , that he harbored terrorist sympathies , contradicted the disturbing and disappointing reality that Obama was far more aggressive in the war on terror than his predecessor  , intervening in seven different countries via drones , drone strikes that resulted in the deaths of terrorists , including that of American-born terrorist Anwar al-Aulaqi  ,  but many innocents who weren’t terrorists. This was hardly the behavior of a president who , according to Fox News and other Conservative pundits , didn’t give a shit about terrorism , or who was sympathetic to its cause.

Stupid Conservative Memes #46 Liberal Logic 101 Edition

Posted in Mark Levin

Stop Playing Golf Obama And Do Something About ISIS!

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                 To the most radical Conservatives , he’s an intellectual , but to those who actually know something about politics , he’s just a pathetic clown.

Mark Levin is a lunatic Conservative talk show host , author , and self-described intellectual and Constitutionalist. He’s also a partisan hack , a racist , anti-Semite , and a loud mouth with a grating , irritating voice and an annoying way of speaking. Dubbed the “Great One” by Sean Hannity , his biggest claim to fame , other than being a best-selling author , is his knowledge of the Constitution – which is debatable. He’s an egomaniac who often displays extreme arrogance ,  a lack of knowledge of politics , and has frequently demonstrated his love of free speech by screaming at anyone who disagrees with him on his radio show – especially if they’re liberals – often hanging up on them and calling them idiots and morons.

Like any Conservative who lives in a universe where facts , truth , and objectivity don’t really matter , he suffers from a severe form of Obama/liberal/Democrat derangement  , and honestly believes that their only priority is to destroy America and the Constitution politically , spiritually , economically , and literally because they’re either Muslims , Marxists , Nazis , or a combination of all three.

Like most Tea Party wing nuts , Levin has spouted crap loads of  verbal diarreah that his fans and listeners adore him for , believing everything he says actually comes from the mind of an intellectual , but in reality are nothing more than the rantings of a raving madman :

“Obama vacations in the whitest place on Earth.” From his radio show : “I think what they say about Martha’s Vineyardfor you racialists and racebaiters out thereI think they say its the whitest place on Earth.” Also during his rant : “We know you hate whites Obama! He talks race , he uses race , he pushes race!” Levin should know about pushing race. He’s done it quite often.

“Obama Care is  Hitleresque.”  Talking to Curtis Sliwa ( WABC radio host and founder of Guardian Angels ) he compared the Affordable Care Act to something Hitler did in Nazi Germany. “Obama is really into these Germanlike events he creates in this country. Have you noticed that?” No , Mark , I haven’t noticed , because there haven’t been any.

“Obama Care supporters are Nazi Brown Shirts.” According to lunatics like Levin , virtually everything Obama does is comparable to Nazi Germany. Referring to Obama Care supporters on his radio show , he said , “All they need is special uniforms. Learn how to march , salute , and carry flags. They’re Brown Shirts.”

“The Supreme Court is imposing secular sharia.” At the Value Voters Summit of 2015 , Levin   claimed that the Supreme Court was imposing Secular Sharia. “The Sunday show hosts are too stupid to understand that the first amendment was not intended to create a separation of church and state , but to prevent the establishment of a theocracy.” Actually , its both. “What we have now is a federal government as a religion , secularism has become a religion. And just as in Muslim countries they have these Sharia courts to enforce Sharia law , we have a Supreme Court that exists to enforce secularism.”
 For someone who is supposed to be an intellectual , Levin seems to have no understanding of what secularism is. Secularism is not a religion. Secularism means to be non-religious , to be separate from religion. If anyone is stupid here , it’s Mark Levin.


“Obama has an affinity for radical Islam more than Christianity.” From his radio show , February 2015 : “I don’t think Obama was ever taught about Christianity. He was taught radicalism through a cereal box preacher camouflaged as a church. He was taught extreme radicalism rather than faith. The faith he was exposed to was the faith of his father.” ( Obama’s father was an atheist ). “So , Obama has an affinity for Islam more than Christianity or Judaism. No question about  it.”  Actually , there is. Levin would know that if he bothered to do some reading. 

“The Obama’s have done more damage to race relations in this country than George Wallace.”  From his radio show , May , 2015 , Levin accused the Obama’s of being racialists and race-baiters of the highest order , and that they are full of hate speech , comparing them to George Wallace.  
Where has Levin been the past eight years? Has he been living under a rock? Has he forgotten the birthers , not to mention the entire Conservative media attacking the Obama’s over everything they have said and done , not to mention his own childish rantings and ravings?
For eight years now ,  Conservatives have laughably played the victim card , accusing the Obama’s of being racist , but there has never been a single incident where they’ve said anything demeaning toward white people. If anything , it’s the opposite that’s true. The Obama’s have been the targets of false accusations , outright racism , and deliberate smears by Conservatives in the media , on the internet , and in Congress. 

He’s the author of several ridiculously  bad books such  as Ameritopia Men In Black : How The Supreme Court Is Destroying America , and Liberty And Tyranny. His latest book , Stop playing Golf Obama And Do Something About ISIS! is also a best seller , and is available now through the I Hate Obama Book Club.

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Maddow reacting to Levin’s Lunacy.

He appeared on a recent episode of MSNBC’s The Rachel Maddow Show to promote his latest book , and ranted and raved like the lunatic that he is.   

Rachel : “Mark , according to your book , are you saying that president Obama isn’t doing anything about ISIS?”

Levin : “That’s right.”

Rachel : But , that’s not true. He’s – “

Levin : ( Screaming ) “What do you mean it’s not true?! Of course it’s true! How can he being doing something about them when he’s always playing golf?!”

Rachel : “But he’s not always playing golf. He’s ordered thousands of airstrikes against them .”

Levin : “Didn’t you hear what I said?! Are you deaf , dumb and blind?! He hasn’t done a damn thing about ISIS! He plays for team ISIS! There , I said it! Prove me wrong! He allows them to waltz across the border and set up camp all over America! Next thing you know , he’ll be inviting them to the White House for beer , coffee , and family photos! He may even make rap videos with them , like he’s done with the Muslim Brotherhood!”

Rachel : “Can we please just have a normal discussion here?”

Levin : ( Still screaming ) “What do you mean , normal discussion?! We are having a normal discussion!”

Rachel : “Screaming isn’t a normal discussion.”

Levin : “I’m not screaming! This is how I talk!”

Rachel : “If you say so , Mark. Can we talk about the book?”

Levin : “I thought we were talking about the book?!”

Rachel : ( Sighs ) “So , president Obama is just playing golf , and not really doing anything about ISIS?”

Levin : “That’s right! He’s always on the golf course! They can’t get him to do anything else! Golf is all he thinks about! From the moment he gets up in the morning to the moment he goes to bed , golf is all he thinks about! Golf! Golf! Golf! The word is burrowed into his brain like a flesh-eating worm! The guy is a zombie when it comes to golf! He stumbles around all day  dreaming about golf! He’s got golf balls for pupils! He even craps golf balls! He used to do pot and coke! Now he’s hooked on golf! It’s his new drug! I wouldn’t be surprised if he starts grinding golf balls to fine powder , and sniffs them up his nose! There , I said it! He’s a junkie , a golf junkie! No wonder the American people think he’s the worst president ever!” 

Posted in Barack Obama

Crazy Obama Conspiracies and Controversies

 

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For eight years Republicans have created and promoted a ridiculous mythology of fake scandals and controversies surrounding Barack Obama. The majority of these controversies involve the most absurd nonsense that any sane person would consider laughable , but Republicans manage to muster up enough outrage to flip out over.

  • He’s a foreigner , born in Kenya , not qualified to be president. It made no difference that his mother Ann Dunham was an American citizen , as is required by the Constitution. Nor did his birth certificate ; it was still fake.
  • He’s a Muslim who attended a radical Madrasa , a school for Islamic terrorists where he learned to hate America.
  • He’s a socialistcommunistMarxist who ran around in his child hood planting explosives and killing people with Bill Ayers ; was radicalized by other avowed communists  Frank Marshall Davis ( who according to some was his real father ) , Saul Alinsky , and ACORN.
  • He stole the elections with the help of Mickey Mouse , Donald Duck , the homeless , illegal immigrants , the walking dead , ACORN , and Saul Alinsky.
  • Has a friendly to Muslim jihadists mentality. The most radical Conservatives believe that Muslim no go zones and sharia law actually exist in the United States. They also believe he  favors Muslim terrorists even as he’s dropping bombs on them.
  • As Commander-In-Chief he hates his own military , and is cutting it to the bone , despite the fact that more money is put into military spending than all programs combined. Obama has somehow still managed to weaken it.
  • Hates Christians , and is persecuting them by censoring all public religious practice , and thought.
  • Hates Christmas , and has waged an all out war against it by denying Christians the right to say Merry Christmas.
  • He’s gay. Has had several gay lovers before running for president.
  • He’s racist. His criticism of the white cop who arrested Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates attempting to break into his own home , which prompted Glenn Beck to declare that Obama is a white culture hating racist , and which the Conservative media latched onto as proof that he was prejudiced against white people. See also his comments on the Trayvom Martin controversy as more apparent idiotic proof of his racism. His attendance in Reverend Jeremiah Wright’s Trinity Church Of Christ , also supposedly proved that he’s a radical racist Muslim who supports the Black Panthers and hates America.
  • Hates the second amendment and wants to disarm America so radical Islam can take over and make the U.S. an Islamic caliphate.
  • He’s apologized for Americas greatness , which is why during his campaign speeches he praised Americas greatness , superiority and exceptionalism , because he hates America. Ted Cruz and other idiots Republicans have claimed that Obama has spent his entire eight years as president apologizing  for Americas transgressions , even though PolitiFact has rated those claims as false.
  • He’s like a Nazi dictator because Obama Care , same-sex marriage , abortion and executive action are apparently no different than what Hitler did.
  • Is weak on foreign policy , because he prematurely pulled the troops out of Iraq , despite the fact that there was a Status Of Forces agreement signed by George Bush , that all American forces must vacate by the end of 2011 ; he also refuses to say the magic words “Radical Islamic terrorism.”
  • Benghazi. He gave a stand down order that allowed four Americans to die , which is further evidence that he’s a Muslim terrorist sympathizer. A number of Congressional reports have contradicted the conspiracies.
  • Fast And Furious. He deliberately gave guns to Mexican drug cartels ,  as a means to disarm every law-abiding gun owner to implement gun confiscation and martial law , which is also further proof that he hates America. A DOJ report contradicted the conspiracies.
  • Teleported to Mars in his youth as a participant in some vague experiment known as project Pegasus. See Barack Obama Goes To Mars.
  • Is in league with The Muslim Brotherhood and has allowed them to infiltrate the White House and every facet of society in America , because he’s a Muslim.
  • Bringing tens of millions of Muslims across the borders , who are really radical Islamist terrorists.
  • Is a lizard king , or queen , from the fourth dimension , or whatever. See David Icke’s Children Of The Matrix  , and Gork From Zork : The Truth About Barack Obama  , Cross Dressing Lizard Queen From Planet Zork.
  • Can brainwash the masses , by reading people’s minds , but is so inept that he needs a teleprompter.
  • His real father was either Frank Marshall Davis , or Malcom X. claimed Pamela Geller of Judicial Watch. Just one more piece of evidence that he’s a radical America hating communist.
  • Latte Salute Gate. Conservative media was outraged over a photo of Obama saluting marines with a coffee cup in his hand. More evidence of his disrespect for men and women in uniform and his obvious hatred of them , and the military. Bill Maher on an episode of Politically Incorrect , suggested that those offended should marry their teddy bears.
  • Feet Gate. More conservative media outrage because he had the audacity to put his foot on that most sacred relic , the Oval office desk. According to Andrea King of World Nut Daily , he was sending Islamic jihadists a secret message , because , apparently as everyone knows , jihadists consider the soles of the feet as the ultimate sign of disrespect. Hence , Obama was showing his Muslim homies how much he hates America. Glen Beck was so outraged that he suggested the president resign in disgrace. The folks at Twitchy , the racist social media site run by racist Michelle Malkin also got into the bitch fest , as did their equally racist followers on twitter.
  • Burger/Mustard Gate. Fox pundits and viewers were offended that president Obama dare put Dijon mustard on a hamburger instead of regular mustard , like a real American obviously would.  Laura Ingraham hinted that Obama wasn’t a real man because he chose not to add ketchup to his burger. Mark Steyn claimed he was trying to enlighten everyone with his order because he’s an elitist pretending to be a regular Joe. He was deeply offended that the president was crashing in as the Grey Poupon spokes person because it’s always been foreigners who had that role for years.
  • Had Breitbart murdered. Breitbart died of natural causes , but for wing nuts that wasn’t good enough of an explanation for his untimely death. Apparently Obama had him murdered because he had some damning evidence that turned out not to be so damning after all.
  • Scalia Gate. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia passed away February 15 from natural causes at a Texas ranch while on a hunting trip. Apparently a pillow was discovered to be partially covering his head. This of course , was enough evidence to convince  wing nuts to speculate that Obama had him killed. Christian lunatic , Rick Wiles claimed Obama had him killed as a sacrifice to Satan. Ted Nugent tweeted that conspiracy site Investment Watch blog knew the true motive behind his death. Alex Jones was convinced he was killed to further Obama’s anti-gun , pro socialist agenda. Lunatic radio host , Michael Savage suggested that there be a Warren Commission-style investigation into Scalia’s death.
  • Vacation Gate. For years Conservatives have been obsessed and even outraged that Obama would have the audacity to be on vacation when the world is falling apart. They’ve even been outraged that he would even take a vacation. They had no problem when George Bush took one , like that time when New Orleans’ residents drowned during hurricane Katrina. See also , Obama Is A Psychopath Because He Takes Vacations And Plays Golf.
  • Golf Gate. Playing golf is another pet peeve that Obama haters have against the current president. It’s not like the former president ever played a round of golf. The consensus is that he would rather be playing a few rounds than doing his job , meaning he’s just lazy and doesn’t know how to do his job , and hasn’t got a clue as to what’s going on in the world. According to Katie Pavlich , and Gina Loudon , Obama will gladly kill anyone to play golf with liberal elites like Jack Nicklaus and Stephen King , and that he had Scalia killed in hopes of putting  a liberal judge on the Supreme Court. See Golf Gate : Barack Obama’s Third Bloodiest Scandal.

According to many Conservatives who hate Obama , most of these actions prove that he hates America. But all they really prove is overt  racism toward  a black man with a Muslim name who had the audacity to run for president of the United States , and win … twice.