Posted in Conservative Correctness, Political Correctness

Politically Correct Terms Conservatives Love … Part 2

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 Conservatives are helpless victims , forever bullied by liberals and progressives who want to shut down their free speech … or so they want you to believe. The truth is , Conservatives oppose political correctness because they want to treat anyone they don’t like as badly as they can without consequence. In other words , they would rather be assholes.

The following are ten more politically correct terms used by Conservatives to portray themselves as victims while smearing their opponents.

  1. Obama/liberal/progressive/government hating radical = “Patriot.” Recently Conservatives all over America demonstrated what fragile pussies hypocrites they really are when a football player by the name of Colin Kaepernick made the choice not to stand during the National Anthem , because he wanted to call attention to the fact that racism and police brutality against minorities is still a very real problem. Why he was refusing to stand , was completely ignored. Instead attention was focused on the  absurd notion that he hates America , and was being disrespectful to military personnel. The irony or hypocrisy in this situation is that Conservatives see no problem with  slandering liberals , Democrats , or the current president as un-American , and accusing them of treasonous or subversive behavior. The president is the commander-in-chief. When anyone disrespects him , they’re disrespecting all military personnel , including those who fought for their freedom to be assholes. But because it’s Obama , that rule doesn’t apply with Conservatives.
    There was a time when the word patriot meant something. It meant addressing grievances in a peaceful manner , through marching in the streets , writing those who are supposed to represent us. But today , in the age of Obama , Conservatives have twisted it’s meaning. It’s no longer about protesting peacefully. It’s about hating and slandering the current president and Democrats as being sympathetic to communism , to terrorists ; treating armed insurgents as true patriots , and those who do protest peacefully , as un-American. 
  2.  “Terrorist” = Person of color , whether they are Islamic radicals , or members of Black Lives Matter who protest peacefully. Recently Tomi Lahren of The Blaze Network embarrassed herself when she tweeted a comparison of Black Lives matter to the KKK. Apparently they’ve been roaming the country lynching white people because they want to overthrow white dominance. Systemic racism has nothing to do with it , nor does the fact that there just might be a real problem with racism in law enforcement. Black people  want to riot because it’s just how they are. Again , the irony here is that people like Lahren and those who listen to her , refuse to believe that Christians can be radicalized by their religion. But there have been plenty of cases where Conservative Christians have committed acts of terror in the name of not only God but anti-government rhetoric.
  3. “Cop hater” = Anyone who criticizes a police officer’s criminal behavior ( as if they can do no wrong ) , such as the shootings or murders of black individuals ,  like Michael Brown , Freddie Gray , and Eric Garner , or daring to suggest that cops should wear body cameras.  Ironically , Obama was accused of hating cops after the Dallas police shootings for making sane , rational statements condemning the killings. In the Conservative bubble where fiction is often regarded as fact , Obama hates law enforcement because … something. 
  4. “Lone Wolf” = a term Conservatives and the media use to describe anti-government , or white supremacist shooters.  Last year Dylan Roof walked into a black church in Charleston , SC , and murdered nine people. Roof . a known racist , confessed that he did it because he hoped it would start a race war. But the main stream Conservative media attempted to make it appear as if race had nothing to do with it. The message : when a shooter is a radical Muslim , all Muslims are accountable and are terrorists by default. But  a white Conservative shooter who has been radicalized by anti-government or anti-black hatred ,  that person is not considered a terrorist but a “lone wolf” with mental issues.
  5. “Traitor” =  A favorite word Conservatives love to throw at liberals , especially those who support the current president. Obama himself has been accused of treason for his executive orders ( which Conservatives have absurdly described as lawless behavior , comparing him to a dictator ; they didn’t seem to mind Bush’s lawless behavior ) ; same-sex marriage ; Benghazi ( a non scandal ) ; the Iran Deal ( which Conservatives have falsely claimed would allow Iran to develop a nuclear weapon ) ; aiding ISIS ( also absurd since the U.S. is currently at war with them ) ; executive action on amnesty for illegal immigrants ( which was blocked by Republicans and the Supreme Court ) ; weakening the military ( another absurd claim ) ; legal abortion ; the non Ebola crises ; Fast And Furious ( another non scandal ) ; the imaginary war on Christianity ( it doesn’t matter that he’s a Christian , he still hates them  ) ; the imaginary war on Christmas ; gun control ( even though he hasn’t grabbed a single gun ) ;  and perhaps the most absurd claim of all , his hatred of America.  You name it , the Republican Party and their rabid supporters have had a hard on for impeachment for eight years.  Are any of these impeachable offenses? Well , they are to those who hate Obama with a passion  and are unable to distinguish fantasy from reality.
  6. Race- baiter” = Anyone black or white ( preferably black ) who attempts to talk about racial discrimination against minorities. This was evident during the Ferguson and Baltimore riots and protests as the Conservative and much of mainstream media bent over backward to defend police brutality and blame the black community for the bad behavior of certain cops , and accusing Obama , Jesse Jackson , Al Sharpton , and the so-called liberal media of inciting  racial tension as a means of attempting to start a race war. Anger over the killings of Michael Brown , Freddie Gray , Eric Garner , and the failure of the justice system to convict the officers involved in their deaths , and charge them at least with involuntary manslaughter , apparently didn’t play a role in these situations. Black people are just animals and look for any excuse to riot. 
  7. “Bigot” = Another  word Conservatives love to use to accuse liberals or anyone who opposes anti-gay bigotry. It’s also used to besmirch and demean the reputation of non believers. Some Christians view all atheists as bigots , and believe they want to suppress their religious freedom. But most atheists are not bigoted because they do not seek to stifle , ban , or outlaw religious freedom. Many Conservative Christians however do wish and have supported the efforts of Republican politicians to discriminate against gay citizens under the guise of “religious freedom”, and are by definition ,  bigots. 
  8. “Militant atheists” = See bigot.
  9. “Militant homosexual” = A gay activist who advocates for the advancement and ethical treatment of other gay individuals. 
  10. “Racist” = A black person , liberal , or anyone who complains about the unethical treatment of minorities. Because anti-black racism no longer exists in the age of Obama. See also race-baiter.    
Posted in John Hawkins, satire

Obama Wants To Eat Your Kids

Aviary Photo_131066935447578748  Michelle Obama released her cook book ‘American Grown‘ in the summer of 2012. Since it’s release , she has campaigned tirelessly to get Americans , and especially children to exercise with her Let’s Move America campaign , and to eat healthier with her school lunch program. But true patriotic Americans are not buying it. And neither are students and their parents. They are fed up with the First Lady , and are letting her know it.

While most people probably couldn’t care less , some Americans – notably , Conservatives – see this attempt by the First Lady as something much more sinister. As most well-informed Conservative Republicans know , the Obama’s are pure evil and are bent on destroying America and everything it stands for. So it is no surprise that the First Lady would implement such a program. To them , it is just another attempt by the Obama’s to further limit our freedoms  , and ultimately destroy America.

I talked recently with Sarah Palin , who voiced her concerns about this program.

“Michelle Obama thinks she has everyone fooled with her Healthy , Hunger Free Kids Act ,” she said. “But if you watch Fox News , Glen Beck ,  and other conservative media that are not afraid to report the truth , then you know for a fact that she’s not fooling everybody. The only ones who are being fooled are the communist liberals who believe the lies of the communist liberal media. We know the truth about this deceitful program , and we have the facts. Most Americans believe it is nothing more than a harmless program to provide healthier school lunches. But the truth is that this program is designed to allow communist liberal  , Marxist , Nazi , gay Muslims to further infiltrate and control our public and private schools by telling our children what they can and cannot eat.

“First they’re removing God from public and private schools , and replacing Christianity with their Godless Muslim religion , and now this. This is exactly how communist liberal , Nazis , Marxist , gay Muslims behave. And the Obama’s have been behaving this way ever since Barack’s first election. And Americans are getting fed up with it. But thank God these communist liberal , Marxist , Nazi , gay Muslim tyrant dictators won’t be in power much longer. I just hope they don’t take our guns away and throw us all in Fema camps before that happens.”

Victoria Jackson , conservative blogger , and writer , has expressed her own concerns about this seemingly innocent program. And while her concerns may seem reasonable to some , they are certainly bizarre.

“There is nothing innocent about it ,” she said. “I believe it’s more than just an attempt to get our kids to eat  healthier. When I first heard about this program , I suspected there was something more to it. I began to question the purpose behind the program. Could it really be a harmless attempt to get Kids interested in exercising and eating right? Or is it something to be suspicious about? They are communists , after all , and communists are evil and everything they do is evil. And that’s when it hit me. It wasn’t something harmless. It was something so unbelievable , and so sinister that most of us would never believe it. I believe it is a subtle attempt to gain total control of our schools and our kids for a much more sinister purpose. And I believe that purpose is to get as many students as possible ,  so sick and tired of all the healthy crap they will be force-fed with this program , that they will gorge themselves on as much junk food as they can. And when enough of them are plump and fat enough , they will be in invited to a special surprise dinner at the White House , and then they will find out what Michelle Obama’s school lunch program is really all about. But by then , it will be too late for them. There will be no hope.

“Remember that Twilight Zone episode , To Serve Man , where the aliens who all looked like Lurch from the Addams Family, came to earth to eat everybody? Well , I wrote a book called ,  To Serve Obama : How Barack Obama The Kenyan , Voodoo , Muslim CannibalPlans To Eat Our Kids , With Michelle Obama’s School Lunch Program. It’s a wake up call to warn Americans of Michelle’s book , American Grown , which is really nothing more than a  cook book.

” Please read it , and take action. We must impeach the communist liberal , Nazi , Marxist , gay , cannibal Muslim before he eats all of our kids!”

Posted in John Hawkins, satire

One Hundred Ways To Spot A Communist Liberal … Part 9

Aviary Photo_1310720430063096361) They don’t believe Progressive is an insurance company owned and run by communists.

2) They don’t believe the Nazi LGBT are persecuting Christians.

3) They don’t believe in Santa Claus.

4) They don’t believe Jesus is white.

5) They don’t believe Obama is sending flowers and candy , and greeting cards to his Muslim terrorist buddies.

6) They don’t believe the Clinton’s are guilty of murdering their opponents.

7) They don’t believe Hillary is really a gay , communist Muslim , who helped Barack Obama get his Muslim terrorist buddies jobs in the White House.

8) They don’t believe Bill Clinton is also a gay , communist Muslim.

9) They don’t believe the universe is  a hologram controlled by Barack Obama.

10) They don’t believe the moon is really a hollow alien spaceship.

If you know anyone who adheres to any of the above , they are indeed communist liberals in need of mental therapy.