Did you know that diaper wearing conservatives, like the fine folks at Toilet Paper USA, have a monopoly on patriotism?
That’s right, and here are the top reasons why conservatives are so super patriotic, and progressives are so clueless.
Let’s take a look at those reasons.
1 ) The Unholy War On Christmas – Diaper wearing conservatives love America because they’re Christians, love God, believe in Santa, and the Easter Bunny.
Progressive are Godless, and don’t believe in Santa or the Easter Bunny. In fact, Christmas was banned. According to conservatives, when the scary black socialist weaseled his way into the White House, he signed an executive order forbidding stores to display Christmas decorations and play Christmas music. Conservatives were forbidden to say Merry Christmas, but the politically correct term, Happy Holidays. But now that Trump is president, conservatives can once again say Merry Christmas!
2 ) Guns – You can’t love America if you don’t love guns. Am I right? Diaper wearing conservatives believe every citizen constitutes a militia and has a divine, God given right to an arsenal of military type weapons that must never be regulated. They claim that guns are not the problem. Gun free zones, single fathers, single mothers, video games, black on black crime, gun control, lack of God in one’s life and lack of prayer in schools, and anything else, as long as it has nothing to do with guns. These are the real causes of Mass shootings.
They believe that young progressives marching in the streets for gun reform are not patriotic, but brain dead dupes of George Soros, the world’s most sinister and evil puppet master, who has worked his entire life from childhood to old age to undermine democracy all over the world.
Progressives believe no citizen has a right to an arsenal of unregulated weaponry, nor do they believe that gun crimes have anything to do video games, lack of prayer in schools, etc., or that young progressives are pawns of Soros, or that the NRA are patriotic.
3 ) Immigration – diaper wearing conservatives believe that Mexicans, and Hispanics are criminals and rapists. President Trump said so. They believe Democrats allow them to waltz across the border unchecked so they can steal jobs, eat babies, and replace white people, who will vote for the Democrats for generations to come.
Progressives don’t believe all undocumented immigrants are criminals, rapists, or drug smugglers. They believe they should be treated with dignity, and don’t support a ridiculous wall to keep them all out.
4 ) Free Speech – Diaper wearing conservatives consider themselves true defenders of free speech. They believe everyone should be allowed to speak at colleges without liberal snowflakes melting. The flag is a sacred object that must never be criticized, just as Israel and President Trump must never be criticized.
Progressives believe universities should be places of free thought and ideas, not exclusively for conservatives who target liberal instructors for harassment by placing them on watch lists. They believe that so called flag hating little pansies like Colin Kaepernick have a right to silently protest police abuse of authority by kneeling during the national anthem , and criticizing Israel and President Trump is not anti-Semitic and/or unpatriotic.
5 ) Climate Change – Diaper loving conservatives believe there is no such thing as man made climate change. It’s nothing more than a hoax perpetrated by leftists like George Soros, who are pulling the strings of climate change activists – like Greta Thunberg – who are too mentally ill to know they are being duped.
Progressives know it’s not a hoax perpetrated by leftists like George Soros. They know that it’s very real, and the science is backed by scientists who study the climate who say it’s largely man made. The real conspiracy are those who are backed by the fossil fuel companies who say it’s a hoax.
6 ) Terrorism – Diaper wearing conservatives have warped ideas what terrorism is. They believe only Muslims, Antifa, and Black Lives Matter are terrorists.
Progressives know that white supremacists are terrorists. They know that white supremacists are more of a threat to our safety than undocumented immigrants, Antifa, and Black Lives Matter. According to the Anti Defamation League’s 2019 report, at least fifty people were killed by right wing extremists in the year 2018, more than left wing, or Islamic extremists. Antifa and Black Lives Matter, both of whom diaper conservatives claim are violent hate groups, have never killed anyone, unlike white identity extremists, and yet they keep pushing their “Violent Leftist Mob” bulls**t.
When Ilhan Omar told Mehdi Hasan in a 2018 interview, “I would say our country should be more fearful of white men across our nation, because they are actually causing most of the deaths. And so, if fear was the driving force of policies to make America safe, we should be profiling, monitoring, and creating policies to fight the radicalization of white men,” diaper wearing conservatives collectively clutched their Pampers and Huggies, along with their precious pearls. . She was smeared as an anti white racist who was calling for the profiling of white people who are allegedly radicalized by racist hate groups. What she was really saying was that fear is not the driving force behind policies like the Muslim ban, but pure hatred for Muslims.
7 ) Race – Diaper wearing conservatives can’t be racist. Right? Many of them actually believe the two parties are still the same they were long before the Civil Rights Act, that the KKK is a leftist organization, and the Republicans are still the party of civil rights. If both were true, why are conservatives the only ones fighting to preserve Confederate statues? Lest we forget, it was conservatives, many of them who voted for Trump and enthusiastically support his racist policies, that marched side by side with the KKK, and other racist neo Nazis groups, in defense of a statue of Robert E. Lee, in Charlottesville, Virginia, and murdered a liberal counter protester.
They deflect any accusations of racism by repeating the same talking points: Democrats are the party of the KKK; Nazis are socialists, and Hitler was a leftist. Propaganda is good for something.
Diaper wearing conservatives believe progressives and Democrats see everything through race, while they are color blind. If that were true, why the obsession with black on black crime? Why the racist talking point that black people who vote Democrat, do so only to keep them complacent on the Democratic Plantation with free stuff? Why the obsession with proving the first black man wasn’t American enough to be president? Why the ridiculous claim that he was pushing for a race war during the events in Ferguson and Baltimore? Why the ridiculous claim that Black Lives Matter has promoted the execution of law enforcement?
Progressives support groups like Black Lives Matter, because black lives don’t actually matter to the system, and believe helping people to avoid poverty has nothing to do with bribing black people with free stuff to get them to vote Democrat.
8 ) The Green New Deal – Diaper wearing conservatives believe the GND is Marxist propaganda, that it will destroy the economy, ban cars, airplanes, hamburgers, cows and their farts, and would bankrupt the economy, instead of benefitting it, and Americans.
Trump campaigned on the slogan Make America Great Again, and yet Diaper wearing conservatives have stubbornly resisted making it better in every way possible, and they have the nerve to call themselves patriots. What they really are, are crybabies soiling their diapers, screaming “Venezuela!” every time a progressive says a scary word like Medicare for all.
The Weekly Journal News 