President Joe Biden – otherwise known as “Sleepy Joe” and  “Stuttering Joe” to his right-wing critics – delivered his first address to the nation March 11. It was a short speech that many found boring, touching on making vaccinations available to all Americans by the first of May, boosting the economy, re-opening schools safely, and holding the former president accountable for his pandemic failures.

Sleepy Eye Joe boring the nation to death with his first address as president.

Most viewers who tuned in to the address found it so boring, they either fell asleep or died of boredom. It was Joe Biden’s first televised speech since becoming president, and many viewers were expecting him to stutter his way through the entire speech or fall asleep in front of the cameras creating a national scandal that Fox News would harp on for the next four years.

Those viewers who struggled to keep themselves from succumbing to sleep or death from boredom, found the speech either sensible or unintelligible. Those who found it sensible praised Biden’s leadership, while some of his critics had rather silly and nonsensical reactions. The following are just a few of the silliest and embarrassing reactions to the president’s address.

Fox News contributor and The Federalist publisher, Ben Domenech – AKA Mr. Meghan McCain –  on the Fox Business Network:

“This just another speech from a senile old fart who thinks he’s in charge of things, but it’s actually his wife – who also thinks she’s a real doctor – who’s in charge of everything. I almost fell asleep, like most people who watched it. I could feel my eyelids drooping with every boring word, terrified that at any moment I would fall into the black hole of death. It was so boring it was as if they had gotten the alien mannequin from that Star Trek episode to play Biden. I can’t remember the name of the episode , but it was the one that featured Ron Howard’s brother. I don’t think it would have mattered if they had, most people probably would have thought it was him anyway, since he actually looks like a mannequin. But dear God I could! And thank God I had tons of coffee on hand to fight off impending death!”

The other members of the panel laughed as if it were the funniest joke they had ever heard.

Fox News contributor Katie Pavlich tweeted:

Sleepy Joe’s boring speech was the highlight of his presidency – his first major scandal. In one speech he managed to put half America to sleep and the other half to death through boredom. One half of 331,000,000 have died due to Biden’s speech. That’s more than 165,500,000. That’s more than twice as many that died of COVID. Will the media take responsibility and hold him accountable or blame it on Trump like they did with the coronavirus?

“Joe Biden isn’t a moderate. He’s a big government tyrant killing Americans with his boring speeches.”

Former governor Mike Huckabee:

“I almost ruptured my sphincter laughing at Biden’s ridiculous speech – until I broke wind. When he started patting himself on the back for taking credit for the vaccines made possible by Trump, it was the first time in my adult life I could have used a quality diaper.”

“I swear to God if I almost didn’t fall asleep listening to Joe Biden’s incredibly boring speech. Nothing can put me to sleep faster. I was lucky to be wearing my favorite pair of Pampers – the ones with the logo that I designed for the Ted Nugent super hero character, SpongeTed Squishy Pants – which I had just soiled when he failed to give Trump credit for the vaccines. The smell of my own diaper acted as a natural smelling salt that prevented me from falling in a stupor or death.”

We already knew Joe Biden couldn’t read a speech off a teleprompter without falling asleep. But in this case he managed to stay awake while putting millions into either a coma or death.

“It was the most boring speech I’ve ever heard. It was like watching one of those Warner cartoons – Sleepy-Time Possum, I think it was. I kept expecting to see Ma Possum rush out to bash Junior over the head with her bread kneader or Pa Possum to put on a dog suit to scare him into doing his chores – which in this case would be thanking Trump for the vaccines.”

Most Americans – even those who had fallen into stupors and comas – found the president’s speech sensible, despite a lack of stimuli. Those who had unfortunately succumbed to death, had no opinions.

President Biden Bores The Nation To Death With His First Televised Speech

On his Sunday morning State Of The Union, Jake Tapper called out Lara Trump for making fun of Sleepy Joe’s stutter.

Tapper began the interview by showing her a clip of the president’s rally in Michigan, where he attacked Governor Whitmer, who he has criticized in the past in regards to her mandating the use of masks to lessen the spread of coronavirus, and shutting down businesses and schools. Earlier this month Whitmer had been a target of a right-wing extremist militia group.

“I guess they said she was threatened,” the president told the crowd. “And she blames me. ( You know who I blame? I blame her. She was the one who was threatening people, forcing people to stay home, and wear masks. We all know masks don’t work, and that’s what made people angry. They were fed up. They couldn’t take it anymore. They just wanted to arrest her, a citizens arrest, but the fake news media called it a kidnapping plot. They should all be arrested. Lock ’em up. Crooked Hillary for her emails, president Obama for tapping my phone’s and my microphones. I would have won that first debate with Sleepy Joe , but  I think Obama tapped my microphone. The crime of the century. I know it, and you know. Lock ’em all up )!”

As the the crowd chanted “lock her up, and lock them up,” Trump smiled, pleased with himself.

“Don’t you think the president should get off the weed, the drugs, or the alcohol, or whatever he’s on?”Tapper asked his guest.

Lara Trump looked surprised. “Excuse me? The president’s not on drugs.”

“Well, he must be on something,” Tapper said. “No one says the outrageous things this president has said without being on something. Either that, or he’s suffering from some type of mental illness himself. No Democratic president, to my knowledge, has ever said the things about Republicans that this president has said about Democrats. President Obama certainly never did. He never accused Republicans of acting un-American, never referred to them as pedophiles, never called them criminals or urged the DOJ and the FBI to investigate them for alleged crimes, or call for them to be locked up. It’s not acceptable for a president to be threatening his opponents.”

“He wasn’t doing anything, I don’t think, to provoke people to threaten this woman at all,” Lara Trump said. “He was just having fun at a Trump rally. And quite frankly, there are bigger issues than this right now for Americans. ( Like the fact that people criticize the president, calling him a narcissist, accusing him of downplaying the coronavirus. Obama was a narcissist, not Trump. Four people died in Benghazi. That was a tragedy, a scandal. Hillary said “what does it matter?” Two people died of Ebola, and the media said crickets about it. 215,000 died of COVID, but frankly, it’s not the president’s fault, I don’t see the scandal, or the controversy. Even I’ve been criticized on social media, accused of having fake boobs, a face lift, or getting my job through nepotism, all of which are not true at all. My boobs are the real thing and they’re spectacular. And I’ve received threats on social media, but you don’t hear me crying about it.”

“Frankly, that sounds like a whole lot of bulls***. And I couldn’t care less about your spectacular boobs. What concerns me is encouraging his supporters to chant “lock her up” against a state governor who was just doing her job, and calling for the Attorney General to investigate his political opponents. One could make a case for the president to be locked up, with his many crimes and shady business deals – including tax evasion, embezzlement, and sexual misconduct, the list goes on -“

“All unsubstantiated nonsense,” Lara Trump said.

“What also concerns me, and a lot of people I think, is the fact that you recently mocked Joe Biden for his stutter, and yet you have no criticism, no mockery for a president who routinely says some of the dumbest s*** I’ve ever heard, who seems to have no self-awareness of his own hypocrisy, who lies repeatedly, who takes no responsibility for his own actions and failures. One could say that he is suffering from cognitive decline, and yet his supporters defend him no matter what he says or does.”

“Again, all nonsense, all lies. First of all, I never made fun of or mocked Sleepy Joe, because he can’t remember his name, or because he can’t finish a sentence.”

“You did it just now.”

“You must be hearing things, Jake. Please don’t put words in my mouth -“

“I’m not -“

“Please allow me to finish, Joe.”

“It’s not Joe, it’s Jake. Now who’s suffering from mental lapses?”

“That would be Sleepy Joe,” Lara said. “I’m not even going to get into the president’s business dealings, but I will say that this president is of more sound and mind than Sleepy Joe Opossum, which is why we don’t need him for president. If he were to be elected, he would just hang his tail from the light fixture in the Oval office, forget that he was president and go to sleep and never wake up.”

“Again, sounds like a whole lot of bulls***. Thank you for being with us.”

Jake Tapper Calls Bulls*** On Lara Trump’s Denial Of Mocking Sleepy Joe’s Stutter