What Barack Obama Really Wants : Obama Wants To Eat Your Guns

Tomi warning her audience that Obama is a dangerous Muslim who will take everyone’s guns away and eat them , because he’s also a communist , and communists like to eat guns , among other things.

If you’ve been following social media this past year , then chances are you are familiar with Tomi Lahren. Tomi is a conservative wing nut commentator employed by Glenn Beck at his network The Blaze. She is best known for her loud and opinionated , fact free rants , sparking controversy as she did recently with her ridiculous and laughable criticism of president Obama as being soft on radical Muslim terrorists ; her equally ridiculous criticisms of Black Lives Matter , referring to them as a violent and racist movement worse than the KKK , and her bigoted rhetoric that all Muslims are basically terrorists. 

Like all conservative wing nuts , she’s certain that the only racism in American is racism against white people , who have been victimized by the Black Lives Matter movement ,  that they are working hand in hand with the Muslim Brotherhood to overthrow the United States government ; that the Clinton’s have left a long trail of dead political enemies ; that Barack Obama is a Muslim responsible for dividing America , has an anti-police ideology – he supposedly incited the violence that caused the deaths of the Dallas police officers – and wants to steal guns from law-abiding citizens. None of this has literally happened.

In her first book , White People : The New Victims Of Racism In The Age Of Obama , Tomi claimed that white people are being systematically beaten , lynched and burned alive by members of the Black Lives Matter movement , because they are now the new KKK and hate white people. In her latest book , What Barack Obama Really Wants : Obama Wants To Eat Your Guns , she claims Obama not only wants to , but will definitely steal everyone’s guns before he leaves office , and he will eat them too. 

She made another recent appearance on the Glenn Beck Radio Show to inform Glenn and his audience that Obama , whom she often refers to as Barry , was planning  something so big in the coming weeks that would prove to Conservatives and liberals alike just how evil he really is.

Glenn: “In your new book , you claim Obama is planning a big event that will take everyone by surprise.” 

Tomi: “That’s right , Glenn. Though not everyone will be that surprised. Most people who know the truth about Barry , suspect he will do something , they just don’t agree on what that something is. Some believed he would suspend the elections , even though it didn’t happen. Some still believe he will declare martial law before president Trump’s inauguration , declaring himself king and emperor , and then round-up law-abiding  patriots and their guns and throw them in prison camps. Conservatives , that is. Not guns. He has other plans for everyone’s guns.”

Glenn: “What do you think  he has planned?”

Tomi: “For their guns?”

Glenn: “In general.”

Tomi : “What do you mean? What’s in general?”

Glenn: ” I mean , his overall plan. What does he plan to do?”

Tomi: He plans on rounding up all law-abiding patriots , take their guns away , and throw them all in prison camps , because he’s a communist who supports Black Lives Matter because he’s a racist who hates white people , especially guns.”

Glenn: “How does he plan on doing that?”

Tomi: “It’s really not that hard to figure out. He hates America , because he’s a communist who supports Black Lives Matter because he’s a racist and hates white people and guns so it’s inevitable that he will round-up all law-abiding patriots take their guns away and throw them all in prison camps because he hates white people and guns. I believe the only way he can do this is with the support of Black Lives Matter which is a racist terrorist hate group the New Black Panthers which is also a racist terrorist hate group and all of his brain-dead supporters who are also racists and terrorists.”

Glenn: “When you say prison camps , do you mean Fema camps? Because there’s really no evidence they exist. They were debunked right here at The Blaze.”

Stu: “Alex Jones has been promoting them for years.”

Pat: “Yeah , that guy is one serious wackadoodle.”

Glenn’s co-hosts arguing whether Pat ( center ) is as crazy as Alex Jones.

Stu: “Yeah. He not only believes in Fema camps , but the New World Order , what ever the hell that is , and the Illuminati conspiracy , whatever the hell that is. I wouldn’t be surprised if he also believed in the Tooth Fairy , the Easter Bunny , Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs , Tinkerbell , and Santa Claus.”

Pat: “believe in Santa Claus. He’s a real person. His name is Kris Kringle. Are you saying I’m crazy too?”

Stu: ( Smiling ) “You said it , not me.”

Pat: “So , I’m crazy because I believe in Santa Claus?”

Stu: ( Still smiling ) “No , you’re just crazy. Period.

Pat: “Are you saying you don’t believe in Santa Claus anymore?”

Stu: “Look , I still believe in Santa. I was just pointing out how crazy he is. Alex Jones , that is.”

Pat: “He is crazy. Because he probably does believe in the Tooth Fairy , and the Easter Bunny. The Tooth fairy and the Easter Bunny are fairy tales. But Santa Claus is real. There’s actual proof , evidence that he exists.”

Stu: “There’s no evidence that he exists.”

Pat: “I thought you believed in him.”

Stu: “I do , but not as a real person.”

Pat: So , you do think I’m crazy.”

Glenn: ( Raising his voice ) “Back to what Tomi was saying. Do you believe in Fema camps? Because they were debunked here not too long ago.”

Tomi: “I don’t know much about Fema camps , Glenn. But I do know that Barry will round-up all law-abiding conservative gun owners – because he’s a communist and a racist who hates white people – with the help of Black Lives Matter who are a racist terrorist hate group and the Black Panthers who are also a racist terrorist hate group and his brainless zombie supporters who are also a racist terrorist hate group and then he will round-up all their guns and then they will cook them in  a huge bonfire in front of the White House because communists love to eat guns among other things. But they love to eat guns most of all.”


Glenn Beck Divorces Second Wife To Marry Blaze Co-Host Stu ( Sue ) Burguiere

The happy newlyweds , couple , whatever , Glenn and Sue , on the set of The Glenn Beck Show.

Dallas – Glenn Beck , host of the Glenn Beck radio and television show on the Blaze network , recently announced that he had divorced his second wife to marry Stu ( Sue ) Burguiere , who had also recently stunned his ( her ) co-workers with his ( her ) own announcement of a sex change operation.

Beck , who has four children , two from a previous marriage , said that his marriage had been in trouble for some time due to the fact that his co-host Stu Burguiere was now Sue Burguiere. In an interview with Gentlemen’s Quarterly magazine , he said , “She was extremely jealous of our working relationship. I told her there was nothing to worry about , but she wouldn’t listen. She said , ‘She’s no longer Stu. She might start hitting on you.’

” ‘That’s insane ,’ I said. ‘Stu – I mean Sue – isn’t interested in me. We’ve worked together for years. He’s – I mean she’s – never shown any interest in me before.’

“Man , was I ever wrong! Not only was he – I mean she – interested in me , but he – I mean she – was starting to show it in some weird ways , if you know what I mean. When there was no one else nearby , he/she would sometimes bat his/ her eyelashes at me and give me a sexy come hither look. It made me feel uncomfortable , because to me he – I mean she – was still Stu. That was how I thought of him – I mean her.

“Other times he/she  would goose me , or grab my you know what in one hand and squeeze – hard. The last time he – or she – did it , I said ‘Stu – I mean Sue – what the hell is wrong with you?! You can’t  do that! It’s very inappropriate! I’m your boss. I can fire you for doing that. Besides , you’re married.”

‘”So , a guy – I mean gal – can’t have a little fun? You won’t fire me.” He/she batted his/her eyelashes at me again. ‘You like it. Otherwise you would have fired me long ago.’

“He/she was right. God help me , I did like it! But it also made me very uncomfortable. This happened off and on over a number of weeks , and at the time , I had no idea that Stu – I mean Sue – was calling my house several times a week and hanging up , until one day my wife , Tania , called me and said ,’Someone’s been calling here , and hanging up. Is it Stu – I mean Sue? Are you two having an affair? I want a divorce!’

“And that’s basically how Stu – I mean Sue – and I got together , became a couple , whatever. I went home that night and we – Tania and me , not Stu and me – I mean Sue – whatever – argued all night , I mean we fought like cats and dogs. She was convinced I was having an affair with Stu – I mean Sue. Nothing I could say would convince her otherwise. A week later we were divorced. I was devastated. I moped  around the studio in my bathrobe and slippers every day for weeks , too upset to do anything.  Stu – I mean Sue – was the only I told about the divorce , and since the whole thing was his fault – I mean her fault – he/she  was there with me through the ordeal. He – I mean she – offered to let me stay at his/her house a few days. I asked him – I mean her – if his/her  wife , whatever , would object , and he /she said his/her wife , husband – whatever – had divorced him/her – too.

“We cried in each others arms that night. After the discomfort wore off , which was about six weeks later , I proposed.”

The happy couple was married in a small , private ceremony in the Blaze studios , attended by a few family and friends.

aviary-photo_131179475779747249“When Glenn told me , I thought oh my God , this is even more creepy than Stu becoming a chick , transsexual , whatever ,” Dana Loesch said. “I never even suspected those two liked each other , much less were having an affair. But I was also relieved because I no longer had to worry about Stu – I mean Sue – hitting on me.”

aviary-photo_131180006308840104“When I found out that Glenn was marrying Stu/Sue , whatever , I wanted to grab hold of him and shake some sense into him ,” Buck Sexton said. “What’s wrong with you dude? This isn’t like you! Why are you shacking up with another dude , whatever , dude?
“I was so disgusted I wrote a short poem about it : There was a dude named Stu , who is now a chick , broad , whatever , named Sue ; he , or she , whatever , works at The Blaze ; had a recent sex change ; never hit on Pat because he’s too fat ; but instead married Glen Beck which is  strange.”

aviary-photo_131179477602954023“I was jealous ,” Pat Gray said. “Ever since Stu became Sue , I wondered what it would be like to kiss those ruby-red lips of his – I mean hers –  and see what he – I mean she – looked like in the nude. I’m still not a pervert! But I still think he/she  – what-the-hell – ever – is cute.”