Washington – A new show will soon debut on Fox. It’s called Alternative Facts With Kellyanne Conway. The fair and balanced Fox News loves the new president , Donald Trump , and they love Kellyanne Conway just as much. The new show will air Friday mornings across the Fox Network , just after Fox And Friends , starting early next month.
According to producers of the new show , topics for discussion will include the size of president Trump’s inaugural attendance – which sources have claimed numbered in the hundreds of thousands – how former president Obama tapped Trump Tower phones , some sources even claiming that the Obama dogs were the real culprits , the supposed Bowling Green Massacre , and president Trump’s Muslim ban that really wasn’t a ban.
Fans have praised the new show as innovative , and ground breaking. “It’s a refreshing change to the liberal media bias ,” said conspiracy theorist , Alex Jones. “It’s about time someone as intelligent as Kellyanne Conway is willing to tell the truth that the liberal media under Obama wasn’t willing to touch with a fine tooth comb , because they were his lap dogs , just like Sonny and Bo are his lap dogs. Like the tapping of the Trump Tower phones during the election. It was the Obama dogs that were the real criminals. And the Bowling Green Massacre , which really did happen , involving ACORN , illegal immigrants , and the walking dead , just as they were involved in stealing the last two elections for Obama. I can’t wait to be on her show and tell her all about it!”
“Now that we have Donald Trump , a real president in the White House!” Conservative screecher Mark Levin said earlier this week. “The alternative facts – the real facts – will come out! Obama and his whole family will finally be jailed for treason! We couldn’t get him on his birth certificate , we couldn’t get him on executive orders , and we couldn’t get him on Benghazi! But I am confident that we will get him on espionage! America will be outraged and shocked to learn that Obama trained his dogs Sonny and Bo Obama – who are most likely communists themselves , that’s right , I said it! Prove me wrong! – to tap president Trump’s phones! I can’t wait to be on the show!”
No one was more excited than Ted Nugent. “When I found out Trump was the next president of the United States , I actually crapped my pants , I was so excited ,” Ted Nugent told Gun Shots And Cum Shots magazine. His critics have charged that he did the same to avoid the Vietnam war , which Nugent claimed was nothing but liberal lies to make him look weak and spineless , something which can ‘be expected from liberals ,” he said. “When I found out Kellyanne Conway was getting her own show at Fox , my favorite channel , I crapped my pants again. I also shot my load and all eight hundred of my guns at the same time. I can’t wait to be on the show and do it again!”
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