America’s greatest Constitutional expert – yeah, that’s right, I said it – and Fox News host, Mark Levin complained yesterday on his radio show that he was having trouble breathing with minimal effort.
“I told you a couple of weeks ago, I’ve been having trouble breathing with minimal exertion,” he said in his signature nasal tone.
“And, you know, last year I had a couple of stunts -“
Mr. Producer: “I believe they’re called stents.”
“What, Mr. Producer?”
Mr. Producer: “You had stents put in, not stunts.”
“Didn’t I say stents?”
Mr. Producer: “You said stunts.”
“Whatever, Mr. Producer. Anyway, in addition to the stunts, we did a thorough review of my ticker, and given my history with heart disease, it’s in pretty good shape. So, the ticker’s doing fine. And so, now we’re looking at the lungs. There’s something going on there, so I had a CAT scan, whatever the hell that is, and we’ll know in a few days.
“But I’m staring to think if there’s nothing there, then maybe it was something else that did it. If they can’t find it in the heart, we’ll see what happens with the lungs. I’ve had some specialists looking into it, and they told me to lay off the roast beef and ham sandwiches. But I don’t think it was all of the ham and cheese and steak sandwiches that had anything to do with it. There’s something else behind it.
“Would you like to hear my theory, Mr. Producer? I think it was Obama. He must have wire-tapped my lungs, like he wire-tapped Trump’s phones!”
He angrily pounded his fist on the console, causing the mic to rattle, which in turn created a feedback whine. He slapped at it as if it were an annoying fly. “He must have wire-tapped my lungs to fail, because he knows he’s a phony and I tell it like it is, and he can’t stand it!
“That’s right, I said it! Prove me wrong, Mr. Producer!
“Now, some people – liberals – will probably call me an idiot, but I don’t care. They’ll call it another crazy conspiracy theory from that kook at Fox News, or whatever. Again, I don’t care. But it’s not a conspiracy theory. It’s based on logic and fact!
“Prove me wrong!”
The Weekly News 