“Wild And Crazy” Jeanine Pirro, Arrested, Handcuffed, Straight-Jacketed, And Dragged Off To The Funny Farm A Fourth Time

Fox News host Jeanine Pirro has been arrested, handcuffed, Straight-Jacketed, and dragged off to the funny farm on three previous occasions during her employment at Fox News. The fourth time occurred during a recent segment of The Five.

During a recent appearance of The Five, liberal co-host Jessica Tarlov attempted to correct her co-hosts on the lies, misconceptions, and opinions surrounding the FBI search of Mar-A-Lago, and the “real reason” behind the warrant.

This difference of opinions during the aired segment between Tarlov and her co-hosts did not go well, as one might expect. Tarlov is a reasonably sensible liberal, while her co-hosts believe that Biden in a perpetual state of dementia somehow managed to mastermind a massive conspiracy to defraud Donald Trump of the presidency.

The aired segment started off normal enough with the majority of the panel defending Trump’s actions and behavior. However when Tarlov attempted to dispel the disinformation, the segment took a rather bizarre turn.

“I think we’re all united on the fact that everyone wants answers,” Tarlov said. “I think everyone is united in that regard. But that’s where the unity ends. This had nothing to do with the FBI planting evidence, or being a corrupt tool of the Deep State to persecute Republicans. It simply has to do with what Trump did – taking documents he had no authority to take, instead of handing those documents over to the National Archives when he left the White House.”

“How would you know?” Jeanine Pirro huffed. “Were you there?”

“What’s that supposed to mean, judge? Was I there? No, I wasn’t there, and neither were you, or anyone else at this table. But that hasn’t stopped any of you from coming up with all manner of idiotic excuses and conspiracy theories to justify Trump’s behavior. The idea that evidence was planted, came from Trump himself. And then Eric Trump went on Newsmax or whatever and made a fool of himself by saying – without any evidence, I might add – that Biden set the whole thing up. And then everyone here parroted that talking point ad infinitum. Now, I don’t know if he was high on something, but the Biden administration has made it clear that they knew nothing about it.”

“Oh, yeah, Biden always tells the truth, doesn’t he Jessica?” Jesse Watters asked, mocking her. “Oh, I don’t know what my son was doing with the Chinese? Do you believe him? Do you believe Joe when he says he doesn’t know anything? Do you believe him when he says he doesn’t know what Hunter was doing?”

“What does China have to do with any of this?” Tarlov said. “What does Hunter Biden have to do with this? I don’t give a s*** and a you-know-what about China, or Hunter Biden. He’s not a government official.”

Pirro looked surprised that Tarlov would dare utter the S word on live television, but the rest of the panel looked slightly amused.

“Hunter Biden is a criminal who should be investigated for his crimes, for his sex and drug-filled orgies with prostitutes!” Pirro said angrily. Spittle dribbled from her lips. She made no attempt to wipe it off.

“And the Democrats should also be investigated for constantly making up scandals and conspiracies about the greatest president we’ve ever had, the most transparent president we’ve ever had.”

Tarlov laughed. “Are you kidding, judge? I don’t care if Hunter Biden was f***ing the Queen of England!”

This time, Pirro looked genuinely shocked, as did the other panelists.

“Alright, people, enough with the crude language,” the director said from the control booth. “This isn’t Saturday Night Live.”

“That has got to be one of the f***ing dumbest things you’ve ever said,” Tarlov continued, ignoring the director’s warning. “And as someone who has had her lips glued to Trump’s rear end for the last five or six years, I’m not surprised.”

Now Pirro was angry. The other panelists, Dana Perino, Watters and Gutfeld looked shocked and more than a bit amused. “Are you implying that I’m some kind of ass kisser?!” Pirro said. “How dare -“

“I’m not implying it, judge. I’m saying it. Your a Trump ass -“

“How dare you?! Where do you get off talking that way to me, girly?! What did I do to deserve such disrespect?”

Gutfeld and Watters followed the exchange with eager anticipation, as if hoping for a cat fight.

“You keep saying stupid s***, judge!” Tarlov said. “Every time you open your pie hole, s***comes out, and it’s always in defense of Donald Trump. ‘He’s so innocent! He can do no wrong!’

“What did I just say about the filthy language!” the director shouted.

Tarlov continued to ignore the warning. She continued chewing out Pirro, mimicking a child’s voice while attempting to ridicule Pirro. ‘He’s so transparent, unlike that black guy we had in the White House; What about Hillary’s Emails? What about Hunter Biden’s wee wee? Waaahaahaaah! Blah! Blah! Blah!’ “

Gutfeld and Watters looked shocked that Tarlov would use such strong language, especially live on -air. Neither of them had ever heard Tarlov be so blunt with Pirro. They were obviously still hoping for a cat fight to ensue.

“I’m sorry if it hurts your feelings, judge,” Tarlov said. “But I just can’t take your s***anymore. It’s tedious and it’s hypocritical.”

Pirro was fuming. Her lips were trembling. She was barely able to contain her anger. “I say stupid s***?” she said. “I say stupid s***?!”

Pirro looked as if she were about to pounce on Tarlov at any moment. However, before Tarlov could respond, and before any possibility of a cat fight might ensue, the segment ended with Gutfeld making a cutting gesture.

That was the televised segment, minus any strong language which had been edited. What happened after the segment aired was even more bizarre. According to an unnamed witness, Pirro followed Tarlov off the set to confront her. What happened then spiraled quickly out of control.

“Jessica was on her way out of the studio when Jeanine grabbed her from behind and attempted to keep her from leaving,” the witness told the Journal.

” ‘Where do you think you’re going, girly?’

” ‘Im going home, judge,’ Jessica said.

” ‘You’re not going anywhere,’ Jeanine told her. ‘We’ve got a score to settle.’

” ‘What are you, twelve?’

” ‘Im someone who’s gonna kick your ass for making me look like a fool.’

” ‘You don’t need anyone to make a fool out of you, judge. You make yourself look like a fool every time open your pie hole… that is, if you’re can unglue it from Trump’s rear end long enough to say anything.’

“Jeanine’s eyes nearly popped from her head,” the witness said. ” ‘That’s it! No one accuses me of being an ass-kisser and gets away with it!’

” ‘What are you going to do, judge? Kick my ass?’

” ‘You’re damn right I am, girly! First I’m going to wipe that shit -eating grin off your face, knock all those pearly whites out, and then I’m going to rip every strand of hair from your head and shove it down your throat until you choke on it!’

” ‘Oh, for God sake, judge, grow up! You’re not in school anymore! You’re a grown woman. It’s about time you started acting like one!’

” ‘Get ready to lose those teeth and all that hair, girly!’ Jeanine said. Just as she launched herself at Tarlov, snarling like a wild animal, the inner door burst open and Greg Gutfeld bolted toward the judge and Tarlov gleefully shouting ‘Cat fighhhhht!’

A moment later, Jessie Watters followed suit behind Gutfeld, also shouting cat fight.

“The judge never faltered. Ignoring the two screaming idiots, she grabbed a fistful of Tarlov’s hair and shoved her to the floor. Tarlov’s glasses went flying. Judge Jeanine launched herself on top of Tarlov as though she were a professional wrestler and attempted to pummel her with both fists. But Tarlov easily blocked the blows.

” ‘What the f*** is wrong with you, judge!’ she screamed. ‘Get off me, you crazy harpy!’

Gutfeld and Watters had their phones out, filming the spectacle, and egging them on like schoolboys at a schoolyard fight. But neither of them were particularly interested in seeing an actual fight. They wanted to see Tarlov and the judge start making out and possibly show some exposed skin.

” ‘When does the kissing start?’ Watters said eagerly.

” ‘When do the clothes come off?’ Gutfeld said. Both of them were drooling. I wanted to shout at them for acting like perverts, but I risked alerting them to my presence where I stood in a shadowy niche in the corridor between the studio and the outside door to the parking area.

” ‘Nobody’s showing any skin tonight, you perverts!’ Tarlov shouted for me. ‘Get off me, judge! I’m not playing your crazy -ass games!’

The judge grabbed a handful of Tarlov’s hair again and managed to yank out more than a few strands. Tarlov screamed in pain, but the judge wouldn’t ease up. She was actually going to do what she promised Tarlov what she was going to do with her hair: Shove it down her throat!

” ‘Eat it, bitch!’ the judge said. She tried to force it between Tarlov’s lips.

” ‘Never, you crazy harpy! Get off me! Or so help me God, I’ll -‘

” ‘Kiss, kiss, kiss!’ Watters chanted.

” ‘Naked, naked, naked!’ said Gutfeld.

” ‘Nobody’s kissing, you idiots!’ Tarlov shouted.

” ‘And nobody’s getting naked!’ the judge said.

” ‘Get this crazy harpy off me, you idiots!’

” ‘Only if you start kissing,’ Watters said.

” ‘Only if you get naked,’ Gutfeld said.

” ‘Oh, for God sake -‘

“Just then the inner door banged open again and the director of the Five hurried in followed by a security guard. ‘What the hell’s going on here?’ he shouted.

” ‘Somebody get this crazy-ass bitch off me!’ Tarlov said. ‘She’s trying to kill me.’

“The guard attempted to pull the judge off of Tarlov, but she flipped him over her head with ease while straddling Tarlov, snarling like an animal. It was as if she was possessed by a demon. The guard flew an easy fifteen feet or more and landed on the floor with a thud. He lay there a few seconds and then struggled to his feet.

“This wasn’t the first time that judge Jeanine had gotten violent on a Fox News set. Over the years, I’d heard stories of her violent behavior on and off camera, but I never really believed them, or didn’t want to. She always seemed so nice and not the type who would easily lose control of their temper. But I was mistaken. I witnessed her violent outbursts myself and wished I hadn’t.

“The moment the judge flipped the security guard, the set director was on his phone contacting the police. While waiting for them to respond, he and the guard attempted to remove the judge from Tarlov, but were unable to – she was just too strong. She was like a woman possessed. So it took the four of them – including Gutfeld and Watters – to finally remove her, spitting and snarling and kicking and screaming the whole time.

“When the police arrived, she was handcuffed, and since she was a former mental patient with a wild and crazy reputation, she was once again placed in a straight jacket and dragged off kicking and screaming to the local funny farm for a fourth straight time.

“But, as on the previous occasions, her wild and crazy behavior did not prevent her from keeping her employment at Fox News.”


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