Ted Nugent To Star In His Own Television Series, ‘SpongeTed Squishy Pants’

Conservative musician and gun enthusiast, Ted Nugent will soon star in his own television series. The new series, tentatively titled SpongeTed Squishy Pants, will be an animated show loosely based on the children’s cartoon character SpongeBob Square Pants. The series – in which Nugent will voice the main character – is scheduled to begin production later this Summer, and will air on the Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim later this Fall.

Also known as the Motor City Madman, and Uncle Ted by his legions of underage fans, Nugent is no stranger to television. He has co-starred in several reality programs and is the host of the long running hunting show Spirit Of The Wild on the Outdoor channel.

In the past Nugent has made questionable statements for which he has received harsh criticism. He once called former president Barack Obama a sub human mongrel, and more recently criticized the Stoneman Douglas school shooting survivors as ‘soulless’ for advocating gun control in the aftermath of the tragedy.

In an interview last year, after years of speculation and rumor, Nugent finally admitted that he actually did soil himself to avoid a physical for the draft at the age of eighteen, confirming what progressives have always suspected.

“In a recent interview with the Detroit News, Nugent said, “That original interview I gave to High Times was basically true. I really did poop my pants. But not because I was a coward. I pooped my pants because I was afraid if I were drafted I would never see Adeline again. Adeline’s my precious guitar. She was a gift from my parents when I was fourteen, prior to joining The Amboy Dukes. I wanted to name her after both my parents, Warren-Marion, but that didn’t sound right, so I tried Marion-Warren. It still didn’t sound right, then I tried Henry-Dorothy, their middle names. Still didn’t sound right, so then I tried Dorothy-Henry. Nope.

“I was starting to get frustrated at this point,” Nugent continued, “so then I tried their last names, Johnson-Nugent. Nope. Nugent-Johnson. Nope. Finally I settled on Adeline. Adeline was my sweet granny on my mother’s side. She was a beer guzzling, belching, rootin’ tootin’ tootin’, cigar smoking, foul mouthed, gun toting woman who told me if I ever did any of those things
– except for the gun-toting – she would beat the living sh – daylight out of me.”

“That was the first I ever crapped myself. For a five year old it wasn’t particularly embarrassing, but I’ve crapped myself quite a few times over the years, a few times as an adult, and some of them were pretty embarrassing. Like the time I crapped my pants for a week prior to going in for my physical for the draft.”

Nugent said the character SpongeTed Squishy Pants will be a hero who slimes evil liberals and leftists with excrement from his diaper, and will feature his precious guitar, Adeline as his faithful sidekick.

Nugent revealed that the character – AKA Diaper Man – was suggested by his good friend Charlie Kirk, who is the founder and executive director of TPUSA – who wears adult diapers himself – as the perfect way to own the libs.

“I’m really excited about this new series, and can’t wait to get started, ” Nugent said. “I can’t wait to see those evil libs eat sh – well, you know what I mean.”