Conservatives love to hate Obama. He’s not really an American , born in a foreign country , a dangerous , radical socialist communist because he was a community organizer , and hates America because he grew up overseas with a monkey and a parrot according to Glenn Beck. Conservatives have never seen a conspiracy or controversy they didn’t like , as long as it has to do with Barack Obama.
Bike Gate. Apparently the commander-in-chief can’t ride a bike alone or with his family without some sinister motive for doing so. But don’t worry , Katie Pavlich is on the case. Maybe she can find out what it is in her forthcoming book , Bike Gate : Barack Obama’s Something Bloodiest Scandal : How Obama Smuggled Drugs To Mexican Drug Cartels Inside American Bicycles , Just Like He Deliberately Gave Them Weapons In Fast And Furious.
Gun Gate. Conservative heads exploded upon seeing a photo of president Obama shooting a shot-gun at Camp David. For eight years they were certain that The Gun-Grabber-In-Chief would take their precious guns away. It must have been a fake , right? Like his obviously phony birth certificate.
Baseball Gate. Obama throwing the first pitch at 2016’s All-star game obviously proves he’s a great big sissy-boy , because Conservatives say he throws like a girl. But George Bush when he did it , he threw like a man!
Beer Gate. The so-called beer summit between Obama , Henry Louis Gates , and James Crowley , the cop who arrested him , was not really about making peace , according to some Conservatives , but was actually a sinister plot to assassinate the police Sargent because Obama hates cops , especially white cops.
Also the title of an up coming book by Katie Pavlich , Gina Loudon , and Victoria Jackson.
Runner Gate. To some Conservatives , Obama runs like he throws a baseball.
Missed Golf Shot Gate. The day Obama missed a shot just so he could have an excuse to spend more time on the green , because golf is all he ever thinks about. That , and endless vacations.
Chipotle Gate. The president leaning over a so-called sneeze guard at Chipotle was an actual controversy to some Obama haters.
Huggy Bear Gate. When Florida pizza shop owner Scott Van Duzer awkwardly bear hugged the president back in 2012 , Conservative pundits and commentators speculated that something sinister was afoot. Just what it was , they didn’t know , but it must have been something so earth shatteringly evil , since a Republican couldn’t possibly be a Obama supporter.
Sunny Christmas Tree Gate. At a 2013 holiday celebration at the White House , two-year old Ashtyn Gardner was knocked down by Sunny Obama. Some Conservatives have speculated that Sunny , like his owners , is also a communist , and that he must have done so because he hates Americas children , like his masters hate America. This is one of the actual theories that Katie Pavlich and Victoria Jackson have written about in an upcoming book.
To the craziest Conservatives , everything the Obama’s do and say are either controversies or conspiracies.
The Weekly News 