Crazy Obama Conspiracies and Controversies

For eight years Republicans have created and promoted a ridiculous mythology of fake scandals and controversies surrounding Barack Obama. The majority of these controversies involve the most absurd nonsense that any sane person would consider laughable , but Republicans manage to muster up enough outrage to flip out over.

• He’s a foreigner , born in Kenya , not qualified to be president. It made no difference that his mother Ann Dunham was an American citizen , as is required by the Constitution. Nor did his birth certificate ; it was still fake.
• He’s a Muslim who attended a radical Madrasa , a school for Islamic terrorists where he learned to hate America.
• He’s a socialist–communist–Marxist who ran around in his child hood planting explosives and killing people with Bill Ayers ; was radicalized by other avowed communists  Frank Marshall Davis ( who according to some was his real father ) , Saul Alinsky , and ACORN.
• He stole the elections with the help of Mickey Mouse , Donald Duck , the homeless , illegal immigrants , the walking dead , ACORN , and Saul Alinsky.
• Has a friendly to Muslim jihadists mentality. The most radical Conservatives believe that Muslim no go zones and sharia law actually exist in the United States. They also believe he  favors Muslim terrorists even as he’s dropping bombs on them.
• As Commander-In-Chief he hates his own military , and is cutting it to the bone , despite the fact that more money is put into military spending than all programs combined. Obama has somehow still managed to weaken it.
• Hates Christians , and is persecuting them by censoring all public religious practice , and thought.
• Hates Christmas , and has waged an all out war against it by denying Christians the right to say Merry Christmas.
• He’s gay. Has had several gay lovers before running for president.
• He’s racist. His criticism of the white cop who arrested Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates attempting to break into his own home , which prompted Glenn Beck to declare that Obama is a white culture hating racist , and which the Conservative media latched onto as proof that he was prejudiced against white people. See also his comments on the Trayvom Martin controversy as more apparent idiotic proof of his racism. His attendance in Reverend Jeremiah Wright’s Trinity Church Of Christ , also supposedly proved that he’s a radical racist Muslim who supports the Black Panthers and hates America.
• Hates the second amendment and wants to disarm America so radical Islam can take over and make the U.S. an Islamic caliphate.
• He’s apologized for Americas greatness , which is why during his campaign speeches he praised Americas greatness , superiority and exceptionalism , because he hates America. Ted Cruz and other idiots Republicans have claimed that Obama has spent his entire eight years as president apologizing  for Americas transgressions , even though PolitiFact has rated those claims as false.
• He’s like a Nazi dictator because Obama Care , same-sex marriage , abortion and executive action are apparently no different than what Hitler did.
• Is weak on foreign policy , because he prematurely pulled the troops out of Iraq , despite the fact that there was a Status Of Forces agreement signed by George Bush , that all American forces must vacate by the end of 2011 ; he also refuses to say the magic words “Radical Islamic terrorism.”
• Benghazi. He gave a stand down order that allowed four Americans to die , which is further evidence that he’s a Muslim terrorist sympathizer. A number of Congressional reports have contradicted the conspiracies.
• Fast And Furious. He deliberately gave guns to Mexican drug cartels ,  as a means to disarm every law-abiding gun owner to implement gun confiscation and martial law , which is also further proof that he hates America. A DOJ report contradicted the conspiracies.
• Teleported to Mars in his youth as a participant in some vague experiment known as project Pegasus. See Barack Obama Goes To Mars.
• Is in league with The Muslim Brotherhood and has allowed them to infiltrate the White House and every facet of society in America , because he’s a Muslim.
• Bringing tens of millions of Muslims across the borders , who are really radical Islamist terrorists.
• Is a lizard king , or queen , from the fourth dimension , or whatever. See David Icke’s Children Of The Matrix  , and Gork From Zork : The Truth About Barack Obama  , Cross Dressing Lizard Queen From Planet Zork.
• Can brainwash the masses , by reading people’s minds , but is so inept that he needs a teleprompter.
• His real father was either Frank Marshall Davis , or Malcom X. claimed Pamela Geller of Judicial Watch. Just one more piece of evidence that he’s a radical America hating communist.
• Latte Salute Gate. Conservative media was outraged over a photo of Obama saluting marines with a coffee cup in his hand. More evidence of his disrespect for men and women in uniform and his obvious hatred of them , and the military. Bill Maher on an episode of Politically Incorrect , suggested that those offended should marry their teddy bears.
• Feet Gate. More conservative media outrage because he had the audacity to put his foot on that most sacred relic , the Oval office desk. According to Andrea King of World Nut Daily , he was sending Islamic jihadists a secret message , because , apparently as everyone knows , jihadists consider the soles of the feet as the ultimate sign of disrespect. Hence , Obama was showing his Muslim homies how much he hates America. Glen Beck was so outraged that he suggested the president resign in disgrace. The folks at Twitchy , the racist social media site run by racist Michelle Malkin also got into the bitch fest , as did their equally racist followers on twitter.
• Burger/Mustard Gate. Fox pundits and viewers were offended that president Obama dare put Dijon mustard on a hamburger instead of regular mustard , like a real American obviously would.  Laura Ingraham hinted that Obama wasn’t a real man because he chose not to add ketchup to his burger. Mark Steyn claimed he was trying to enlighten everyone with his order because he’s an elitist pretending to be a regular Joe. He was deeply offended that the president was crashing in as the Grey Poupon spokes person because it’s always been foreigners who had that role for years.
• Had Breitbart murdered. Breitbart died of natural causes , but for wing nuts that wasn’t good enough of an explanation for his untimely death. Apparently Obama had him murdered because he had some damning evidence that turned out not to be so damning after all.
• Scalia Gate. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia passed away February 15 from natural causes at a Texas ranch while on a hunting trip. Apparently a pillow was discovered to be partially covering his head. This of course , was enough evidence to convince  wing nuts to speculate that Obama had him killed. Christian lunatic , Rick Wiles claimed Obama had him killed as a sacrifice to Satan. Ted Nugent tweeted that conspiracy site Investment Watch blog knew the true motive behind his death. Alex Jones was convinced he was killed to further Obama’s anti-gun , pro socialist agenda. Lunatic radio host , Michael Savage suggested that there be a Warren Commission-style investigation into Scalia’s death.
• Vacation Gate. For years Conservatives have been obsessed and even outraged that Obama would have the audacity to be on vacation when the world is falling apart. They’ve even been outraged that he would even take a vacation. They had no problem when George Bush took one , like that time when New Orleans’ residents drowned during hurricane Katrina. See also , Obama Is A Psychopath Because He Takes Vacations And Plays Golf.
• Golf Gate. Playing golf is another pet peeve that Obama haters have against the current president. It’s not like the former president ever played a round of golf. The consensus is that he would rather be playing a few rounds than doing his job , meaning he’s just lazy and doesn’t know how to do his job , and hasn’t got a clue as to what’s going on in the world. According to Katie Pavlich , and Gina Loudon , Obama will gladly kill anyone to play golf with liberal elites like Jack Nicklaus and Stephen King , and that he had Scalia killed in hopes of putting  a liberal judge on the Supreme Court. See Golf Gate : Barack Obama’s Third Bloodiest Scandal.

According to many Conservatives who hate Obama , most of these actions prove that he hates America. But all they really prove is overt  racism toward  a black man with a Muslim name who had the audacity to run for president of the United States , and win … twice.