Continued from chapter 1 :
Night Of The Twerking Dead
“We may be weird , but Obama’s president another four years , and I can’t stop crying!!!!”
“And I can’t stop tooting.”
Paul released a particularly loud and long one , the loudest and longest I had ever hear him do.
“Oh my God!” Aubrey said , ran to her room and slammed the door.
“Don’t take that tone of voice with me , missy!” I said.
“Help , I can’t get up.”
“Can’t you see I’m busy crying?!” I wailed. “What are you , a child?”
I had better things to do than help my whiny husband off the floor. I had people to call and people to complain to.
I called my mom first. “Mom , Obama’s president another four years and I can’t stop crying!!”
“What’s that dear?”
“I said Obama’s -“
“Speak up dear , I can’t hear you.”
“Turn the volume on your hearing aid up , ma!!”
“It’s all the way up dear! What is it?”
“I said Obama’s president another four years and I can’t stop crying!”
“And I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”
“Shut up , Paul! I’m not helping you up. You’re a grown man , not an eighty year old woman!”
“What dear?!” My mom screamed over the phone.
“What’s all that noise I hear in the background , ma?!”
“Just a few people.”
“Are you having a party , ma?!”
“Yeah , Obama’s president another four years and we can’t stop celebrating!”
She blew one of those air horn thingies , nearly deafening me.
“Jesus Christ , ma! What the hell was that?!”
“What’s that , dear?”
I screamed , threw my phone on the floor and stomped on it.
Aubrey came running out of her room again. “Now what’s the matter?”
“Your grandmother is celebrating Obama’s reelection and I’m so damn mad!”
“Oh my God , it’s the end of the world.”
“I can’t get up!”
“I said , shut up , Paul!!”
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