Chapter 1 continued
I immediately got on twitter and tweeted :
I can’t stop crying … America died. America is doomed. America is finished. Thanks a lot all of you lazy good for nothing Christians for not showing up! Obama’s president for another four years , and as far as I’m concerned , all of you are just as much to blame as the communists who voted for him. How does that make you feel? I don’t know about you , but I’m going to go out and buy more guns because it won’t be long until he comes to take all my guns away.
Again I tweeted : I can’t stop crying. America died. Aaaaaaarggghhh!!!!
In a sudden fit of rage , I tore out huge chunks of my hair.
I did it so fast , I didn’t feel any pain.
I was crying as I tweeted. I really really couldn’t stop. I was so mad and so sad , because all of our freedoms would surely be taken away during Obama’s second term. The right to free speech : Conservatives would be harassed and bullied and thrown in jail for criticizing liberals , gays , and King Obama. We would all be persecuted for being Christians and lined up before firing squads. We would all be martyrs for Christ. It wasn’t just paranoia ; it was really really really real. It would really happen this time. Everything Conservatives feared would happen the last four years , would finally become reality during Obama’s second term.
Aubrey came out of her room again , looking wild-eyed. “What was that?”
What was what?” I asked , tears pouring from my eyes.
“What happened to your head? And why is dad lying on the floor?”
“I pulled some hair out because Obama’s president another four years. Why is your dad lying on the floor?”
“How should I know?”
Aubrey nudged him with a foot. “Dad , what are you doing on the floor?”
“I got weak kneed because Obama’s president another four years.”
“Jeez , dad , must you fart so much? It’s gross.”
“I told you Paul!” I wailed , still crying. “My eyes are watering.”
“I thought it was because Obama was president another four years?”
“It is. But your farting isn’t helping much either!” I said.
“Help , I’ve fallen and can’t get up.”
“I’m not helping you up! Obama’s president another four years , and I can’t stop crying!”
“Jeez , you two are weird.”