November 4 , 2008 Barack Obama was initially elected forty-fourth president of the United States. Conservatives all over America lost their minds , and the Tea Party was officially born. The prevailing consensus was that he was a foreigner , a communist socialist , gay , and a Muslim , therefore not fit to be president. They were paranoid that he would destroy America and take their guns away. He was a liberal democrat , after all , which according to the average Fox viewing conservative , is equivalent to communism. It certainly wasn’t the color of his skin.
In a 2007 concert , Ted Nugent called the president a POS , and advised him to suck on his machine gun. He referred to Hillary Clinton as a toxic c**t , and invited her to take a ride on the same weapon.
In a 2012 twitter rant , he complained to his followers that those who voted for Obama were nothing more than pimps , whores and welfare queens. In a related tweet , he also referred to them as sub humans for wanting others to pay for their birth control , abortions , Obama Care , Obama phones , and all the other free stuff that liberals love to get at the expense of true patriotic , Obama hating conservatives. It’s ironic , considering that he obviously didn’t mind his taxes being used to pay for two wars , under George Bush , that the majority of Americans didn’t want.
In 2012 he lamented that he would either be dead or in jail if Obama was reelected. But to the disappointment of liberals , progressives – and even some conservatives – uncle Ted remains alive and free , thus proving that republicans have a problem with keeping promises , something they’ve always accused Obama of being guilty of.
Uncle Ted wasn’t the only conservative who lost his mind when Obama became president. Victoria Jackson not only lost her mind , but she cried , fearing that America was doomed for voting for an obvious communist , and a Muslim. When Obama was reelected , she went into a fit of hysterics and has been bawling her eyes out ever since , because this time America had actually “died.” Apparently , Obama had done exactly what his communist mentors and buddies had taught him to do : destroy America the second time around – apparently he had failed miserably to destroy it during his first term ( after all , he is the worst president in American history ) – by shredding the constitution with executive action , and all kinds of other stuff.
She’s the author of several ridiculous books about Obama , including Barack’s Magic Pen. Her latest , Bye Bye America Died … That Was The Day That I Cried And I Cried. It’s also the name of her new video.
Once again , Americas favorite dingbat appeared on The Kelly File with Megan Kelly , shamelessly hawking her new book.
Megan : “Welcome back , Victoria.”
Victoria : “Thank you for having me.”
Megan : “You’re not going to cry , are you?”
Victoria : “I don’t know. It depends.”
Megan : “Depends on what?”
Victoria : “If I can control myself. You see , it’s been very hard not to cry since Obama’s been reelected.”
Megan : “Why is that?”
Victoria : “Because he’s a communist , and he’s destroying America. I’ve been crying almost non stop. As a matter of fact , when I was writing the book I could barely see what I was doing , because my eyes were so watery from all the tears and I just kept crying and crying , and the water poured from my eyes like a rusty faucet that doesn’t want to shut off , and I almost drowned in my own tears because I -“
Megan : “OK , I think we get the picture , Victoria. You’re very sad. Let’s talk about the new book.”
Victoria : “First I want to play a new song I wrote. It’s called Bye Bye , America Died. It’s sung to the tune of American Pie by Don McLean , and it goes like this.”
With her trusted ukulele she began strumming her new song.
“Bye bye America died and that was the day that I cried and I cried ,
’cause Obama’s in the White House and I’m feeling so sad ,
but instead of getting mad I just cry …
that’s the day America died …
Whaa! whaa! whaa! whaa! whaa! whaa!
Obama’s in the White House and I’m so so sad ,
but instead of getting mad I just cry and I cry ,
’cause that’s the day America died … that’s the day America died …
Whaa! whaa! whaa! whaa! whaa! whaa!
Obama’s in the White House and I’m feeling real sad ,
but instead of getting mad I just cry and I cry …
’cause that’s the day America died .. that’s the day America died ..
bye bye America died and that was the day that I cried and I cried ,
Obama’s in the White House and I’m feeling so blue ,
I’m so scared and you should be too ,
’cause that’s the day America died …”
Megan : “Oh lord almighty. That sure was something. What exactly , I won’t say.”
Victoria : ” That’s just the short version. You can get the regular version that’s included with the book. So , buy my new book , everybody! You won’t be disappointed.”
Megan : “Now can we talk about the book?”
Victoria : “Sure Megan. The book is about the death of America. Duh! Because of Obama. What else?”
Megan : “Exactly how is he destroying America?”
Victoria : “Are you blind?! Take a look around you , Megan. There’s a communist and a Muslim in the White House. If that doesn’t scare you , it should. And every one of the democrats in congress are communists , too. Just ask Allen West , he’ll tell you all about it. It’s just so obvious how many ways this country is being destroyed. The economy for instance. We are much worse off now than we were under George Bush. The deficit has sky rocketed , the national debt is a thousand times worse , and millions and millions and millions of people are losing their jobs every month. That’s pretty scary. And if that isn’t scary enough , he’s also persecuting Christians by mocking God , by supporting same-sex marriage , changing the definition of traditional marriage with the help of his communist buddies in the Supreme Court , and not allowing Him back into our public and private schools , where He belongs. But the scariest thing of all , is that he’s invited ISIS to cross the border. They’ve got camps all over Texas and Mexico , and they’re spreading all over America , and why isn’t the liberal media saying anything about it? If you don’t believe me , go to Texas , or Mexico and see for yourself. And if that isn’t scary enough , he’s also a gay Muslim , and a Muslim jihadist who sides with his Muslim brothers – or sister/brothers , since they’re all most likely gay , too. Obama has encouraged them to teach their Godless religion in our schools , and to teach our kids how to be gay Muslims , and nobody’s doing anything about that either. And that is so sad. No one seems to care that this country is going to hell , literally because of Obama and the liberal progressives who’s only concern is turning America into a third world communist hell hole , just like Ann Coulter says they will. But not before they take all of our guns away and throw all of us true patriots into Wal-Mart Fema stores , where we can save more and live better.”
The Weekly News 