Barack Obama Goes To Mars

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King Obama – aka Barry Soetero – on Mars , preparing for his tyrannical dictatorship of America.

 Andrew Basiago , a Washington attorney , claims he visited Mars  in the early eighties as a  participant in  the Darpa program involving time travel and teleportation.  He  also says he met Barack Obama in his youth , then known as Barry Soetero , who had also been recruited as a member of the project. He not only visited Mars , he claims , but was sent back in time to witness Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address , was present in the Ford theatre during Lincoln’s assassination , traveled to the year 2045 , and one million years into the past. He is  the founder and president of the Pegasus project , an organization he started for the purpose of petitioning the government to release its top secret projects to the general public. So far to date , the government has ignored his requests.

Many have dismissed these claims as those of a crack pot , or someone who is simply making it all up just to achieve his fifteen minutes of fame. But there are those who actually believe it. I myself have always believed in the possibility of time travel , and teleportation , and though these claims may seem outrageous at first glance , one must take them with a grain of salt , and an open mind.

I spoke recently  with a colleague of Mr. Basiago’s , who visited Mars with him , and who wished to remain anonymous. We spoke at the headquarters of Project Pegasus. She revealed to me some very interesting information involving the project and Barack Obama’s connection to it , information that is very disturbing , to say the least.

“There were at least forty of us who were chosen to participate in the project ,” she said. “We all had parents , or relatives who were involved in various Darpa programs , which is why we were chosen. We were told that the reason we would be going to Mars , was because we were to be ambassadors to a new planet , and to be citizens of the first Martian colony which had been in existence for some time. Andy was told that he was chosen to fulfill his destiny , which was to expose the secret programs that the government was hiding from the public , and traveling to Mars would prepare him for that. How that makes any sense , I don’t know. But he believed it. He was very naïve in those days , and still is. He believed everything they told us , and almost everything they told us was a lie , as most of us soon discovered.

“We went in groups of four. Andy , Brett Stillings , and I were in the first group with some other guy , I don’t remember who it was. I called him Rat Face , because he had beady eyes , and protruding rat like teeth that were slightly yellowish. We got to Mars on an elevator.  Again , how that makes any sense , I don’t know. There were some flashing lights on the elevator panel , that was operated by someone by remote control outside the car. When the lights turned green , the elevator shot up at what felt like a hundred miles an hour , all at once. It felt like my stomach had been left behind. Like my intestines had been twisted into knots. I almost soiled myself. But I can’t say the same for the others. Andy was alright , though he seemed to be in shock the whole time. Brett , who was the youngest of us , was not only in shock , but he also managed to soil himself , both number one and two. The other guy , Rat Face , barfed not only all over  himself , but Brett as well.

The whole trip took about twenty minutes. When the doors opened , we found ourselves on what appeared to be the surface of Mars. At least it looked like Mars. The sky had a rusty red color to it. We all exited at the same time , retching and gasping for breath. I can’t tell you how  relieved I was to get out of that elevator. If I had been forced to stay in there much longer , I would have barfed also.

To my surprise , the air was breathable , but kind of thin , and it was warm , probably because we were near the equator. And it was mostly green , at least where we were , which was an oasis with a lot of trees , flowers and plants. There was also a  building nearby. It was a round shaped structure , ringed with many windows.  Andy and I walked toward it together. We didn’t want Brett and Rat Face near us because they stank so bad , especially Brett.

“Rat Face looked around dubiously. ‘Is this really Mars?’ he said. Because of his buck teeth , he sounded like Cletus Spuckler on The Simpsons.

” ‘Of course it’s Mars ,’ Andy said. ‘Where else would it be?’

” ‘Oh , I don’t know , maybe a back lot on a Hollywood studio , maybe. Or maybe a drug induced hallucination , maybe.’

” ‘This is not a Hollywood studio lot , ‘ Andy said a little too defensively , ‘Nor is it a drug induced hallucination. It’s Mars. Deal with it.’

” ‘Hey , I’m just saying , ‘ Race Face said.

“The entrance to the building was one of those sliding doors like you see in Star Trek , that open automatically when it senses your presence. We went down a short corridor and entered  a room on the right. Andy was in charge of the group , so we had to follow his lead , because we had no idea where we were going. There were two smaller rooms , restrooms designated with standard gender symbols.

” ‘Get yourselves cleaned up ,’ Andy said. ‘There are jump suits and appropriate foot wear. We’ll meet outside this room in a half hour.’

“Thank God , I thought. I couldn’t stand the poopy smell coming from Brett’s pants any longer. His face was red with embarrassment like  an over grown baby who had just been caught crapping himself.

“Andy was waiting for us outside in the corridor. We were all dressed in the same rust red jump suits, with hiking boots on our feet.

” ‘As soon as the second group joins us , we’ll continue on down to the lower level ,’ he said. ‘There , we will be briefed about safety while on the surface and the indigenous life forms.’

“Five minutes later , the door to the room slid open and the second group came out. The last one to emerge was none other  than Barack Obama himself , who we all knew as Barry Soetero. We had met him at the training academy , and all of us had run into him from time to time. He wasn’t nearly as charismatic , as he is now. I didn’t find him particularly interesting , but Andy seemed to find him endlessly fascinating. He practically pushed everyone aside to greet him.

” ‘Well , we’re finally here ,’ the future president said , as the two smiled and shook hands. ‘This is where it begins.’

“Where what begins?” I asked.

Turning to me , he smiled and said ,’You’ll find out soon enough. You all will.’

“We entered the lower level by way of an elevator that took us more than a mile below the surface. It brought us to a large room with a viewing screen , and exactly forty chairs.  The room was white , with bare walls , like the inside of the main building and the visiting room. Five minutes later a tall man in the same rust red jump suit , and munching on a donut , entered the room. He stood in front of the viewing screen and switched it on with a remote control device.

” ‘I’m Dr. Gates , ‘ he said. ‘And before we begin here I want to welcome you all to Mars , and to congratulate you. You’ve all been chosen to participate in an experiment. An experiment which you soon learn more about. First , you need to know what to expect while you are here. Safety is the number one priority. Always remember that. While on the surface , keep your oxygen masks with you at all times. Each of you will receive one. Remember that the atmosphere on Mars is much thinner than earth , and any prolonged strenuous exercise  may result in unconsciousness. So be careful.

” ‘The second thing is the indigenous life forms that live here on Mars.’

“Many pictures of different species of small animals , flashed continuously across the screen. Some of them somewhat resembled animals that could be found on earth , and others were so strange and weird-looking that they defied a decent description.

” ‘There are many animal species , as you can see , most of them benign , much like the animal life on earth. There are , however , a few of them that are predators , and very dangerous.’

“Two species of aggressive looking animals , one somewhat resembling a large ape like creature , and the other resembling a very large canine , flashed momentarily across the screen.

” ‘Try to avoid them by staying clear of the areas in which they frequent. Later , you will all receive advanced training and procedure on the dangerous species and how to avoid them ,  and protect yourself should you run into any of them. Please remember ,  always carry your weaponry with you at all times. Each of you will also receive a special heat weapon , and proper instructions on how to use it.

” ‘The last topic  is the intelligent life form ,’ Dr. Donut continued. ‘There is only one. Shortly after arriving here on Mars , over two decades ago , we discovered a race of beings we called the Gleeps , because of the similar sound that is emitted from their rectums when they are nervous or upset.’

“The creature on-screen was a funny looking , green-skinned being with large rounded eyes , nearly as tall as a human. It reminded me of the alien creatures in the Toy Story movies.

” ‘They have no form of language , as far as we can tell , except for the sounds that come from their rectums , which may or may not be a form of communication.’

” ‘Or a fart ,’ Rat face said , and everyone laughed.

” ‘Dr. Gates laughed along with the rest of us , nearly choking on a bite of donut. “Yes , I suppose so  , who really knows ,” he said chuckling.

  “He switched off the screen. Seconds later another man in a jump suit , carrying a clip board , entered the room. He tapped Andy on the shoulder and gestured for him to follow.

” ‘Where’s Andy going?’ I asked.

” ‘Andy is on his  way to fulfilling his destiny ,’ Dr. Donut said cryptically. ‘As all of you are. Which is why you are here. You were all chosen to be a part of a grand experiment. As you know , time travel , and teleportation are now a reality. And because of time travel , we are now able to look into the future and see our destiny as it was meant to be.’

“Rat Face , who was sitting behind me , mumbled , ‘What is this dude talking about?’

” ‘I’ll tell you what I’m talking about. Because of the technology of time travel , we have looked into the future , to the year 2010 , and have discovered the future president of the United States and his destiny.’

“Barry stood up. Dr. Donut said , ‘And that future president is … Barack Obama.’

” ‘Who’s Barack Obama?’ Brett asked.

” ‘I am ,’ Barry said , smiling.

“This experiment is to determine if he is worthy of being chosen to fulfill the destiny for which he was born. Hundreds of years ago , The Illuminati chose him to be their savior , and you are all a part of that destiny for good or ill.’

” ‘This is a joke , right?’ I said.

” ‘Do I sound like I’m joking?’

“Barry laughed suddenly , as if someone had whispered something so hilariously funny into his ear. It started as a chuckle , and gradually grew into a long , drawn out guffaw. And I could swear that his eyes actually glowed.

“And that was how it all started. From there it progressed quickly , quicker than any of us could have ever imagined. The grand experiment had been nothing more than a training project to prepare Barry Seotero for his presidential dictatorial tyranny of the United States. The Gleeps , and the colonists  , were exploited as slave labor for everything under the Martian sun. Those of us who were chosen for the project who opposed him , were also used as slave labor , or locked up in prison.

“Andy of course , remained oblivious to it all. Him and Barry were fast becoming buddies , or that’s what Barry wanted him to believe. I tried to warm him that Barry was just using him to gain a future ally , but he wouldn’t listen. To Andy , Barry was a saint and could do no wrong. Just as his countless supporters believe he is.

“Eventually , we were all allowed to go back to earth. They told us that they didn’t care if we exposed the project if we chose to , because no one would believe us anyway , and if anyone did , they would just think we were crazy , and it would not change the future. Nevertheless ,  we told as many people as we could , hoping to convince  anyone who  would listen to the truth , that the communist , liberal , Nazi , gay , Muslim , Martian presidency of Barry Soetero – who would be forever known as Barack Obama  – would be the greatest threat the world has ever known.”


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